Help:Buying Wikipedia/Wikipedia Purchase Management

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Wikipedia Purchase Management

Welcome to the Wikipedia Purchase Management page on the English Wikipedia. We make up a group of users who were tasked by Johnathan Secret to manage and maintain the process of buying Wikipedia and any of its associated pages.

If you have any questions, feel free to ask them on our discussion page, or by contacting our head of management Prep Greif Blur or ~~his second-in-command~~ (new second-in-command pending).

Purpose and Goals

Our main functions are to:

Create and maintain a verified simple system necessary to buy Wikipedia
Moderate Jerry and other people associated with the Wikipedia purchasing process
Track current attempts to purchase Wikipedia and verify their accuracy in following the steps, and
Terminate any people who have failed or aborted the purchase process

Termination progress:

Terminate any failed cases from 2002-2005: 100% complete

^27/27

Terminate any failed cases from 2005-2010: 100% complete

^18/18

Terminate any failed cases from 2010-2015: 100% complete

^11/11

Terminate any failed cases from 2015-2020: 100% complete

^6/6

Terminate any failed cases from 2020-2025: 33% complete

^1/3

Participation

Our system is not open to everybody. In order to become a manager of the Wikipedia purchase process you must either be recommended by Jimmy Wales himself or submit an application. You must meet the following requirements first, or your request will be speedily declined:

Make 1 million edits to Wikipedia (any language)
Be an administrator
Create at least 20000 articles (none of which can be deleted)
Help promote at least 100 FAs
Help promote at least 400 GAs
Help promote at least 600 DYKs
A letter of recommendation from Johnathan Secret

Frequently asked questions

Q: What does it mean to "terminate"? Are you killing anyone who fails the process?

A: Of course not! That would be illegal, and we do not condone illegal activity. The Buying Wikipedia Curse is an unfortunate coincidence, but we can assure you that most people who have attempted a purchase are still alive and well.
The termination process is a form of tying up loose ends, mainly resetting the steps to ensure that they are ready for the next buyer, ensuring that the failed buyer does not continue if they have failed, or someone else picking up where they left off.

Q: Who is Danny?

A: Stop asking.