Talk:1998 Tour de France/GA1

Latest comment: 4 years ago by BaldBoris in topic GA Review

GA Review

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Reviewer: MWright96 (talk · contribs) 16:23, 8 March 2020 (UTC)Reply

Will review. MWright96 (talk) 16:23, 8 March 2020 (UTC)Reply

  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose):   b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):  
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (reference section):   b (citations to reliable sources):   c (OR):  
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects):   b (focused):  
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:  
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:  
  6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales):   b (appropriate use with suitable captions):  
  7. Overall:
    Pass/Fail:  

Lead

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  • "and generally considered the most" - considered to be the
  Done
  • "The race consisted of 21 stages and a prologue, over a total distance of 3,875 km (2,408 mi)" - how about if this sentence was reworded to say The 3,875 race was composed of 21 stages and a prologue.?
  Done
  • "Following Boardman's crash and withdrawal from the race on stage 2" - Following a crash by Boardman on stage 2 that caused his withdrawal,
  Done
  • "Ullrich's sprinter teammate Erik Zabel took the race led." - typo; lead
  Done
  Done
  • " to replace Ullrich in the yellow jersey, which he held until the conclusion of the race." - how about to take the lead he maintained until the race's conclusion.?
I reworded it along those lines.

Teams

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  • Wikilink the first mention of the word teams to Cycling team
  Done
  • "recent previous editions," - the word "previous" is not needed in this instance
  Done
  • "which was associated with the large number of riders." - a
I think "the" is better here, since with "a" it sounds like a particular group of riders is meant. (definite vs indefinite article) Zwerg Nase (talk) 12:08, 9 March 2020 (UTC)Reply
  • "The first round of teams that were invited were the first sixteen teams" - close repetition of the word "teams"
  Done

Pre-race favourites

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  • "with a significant lead of over nine minutes." - with a over nine-minute lead.
  Done
  • "Marco Pantani (Mercatone Uno–Bianchi) was considered the "dominant climber in the sport" at the time." - it should state the person whom considered Pantani the "dominant climber in the sport" per MOS:WEASEL
Per MOS:WEASEL, "views that are properly attributed to a reliable source may use similar expressions, if those expressions accurately represent the opinions of the source", which is the case here, Samuel Abt is cited with this statement in the very following source given. Zwerg Nase (talk) 09:00, 9 March 2020 (UTC)Reply
  • "Pantani had expressed dissatisfaction, due to the amount of time trials and the fact that the race featured only two mountain-top finishes." - Pantani expressed dissatisfaction with the amount of time trials,
  Done
  • "Pantani raced only once, a criterium race in Bologna." - better; Pantani competed in a solitary criterium race in Bologna.
Hmm, I feel that this wording leaves open the possibility that he attended races other than criteria. I want to emphasize the fact he only raced once in the time in between Giro and Tour. Zwerg Nase (talk) 12:11, 9 March 2020 (UTC)Reply
  • " but had done very little training in preparation." - beforehand.
  Done
  • "and the clear number one in the UCI individual ranking" - first
  Done

Route and stages

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  • "potential start of the race in Ireland took place in October 1996, with the Irish government securing funding of IR£2 million to host the race." - reptition of the word "race" in the same sentence
  Done
  • "The route was generally considered" - please state whom considered the 1998 route easier to avoid a violation of MOS:WEASEL
  Done
  • " Just as the year before," - what about the 1997 race or the 1997 event in place of the text in bold?
  Done

Pre-Tour relevations

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  Done

Early stages in Ireland

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  • "In the aftermath, the peloton sat up," - I don't think "sat up" is the correct wording here
Reworded to "slowed down" Zwerg Nase (talk) 12:25, 9 March 2020 (UTC)Reply
  • "Temperatures increased, with a high of" - better; Temperatures increased to a high of
  Done
  • "Two-time stage winner Cipollini abandoned on this stage, as he always did in the Tour de France when the mountain stages approached." - Is there any reason as to why Cipollni abandoned before the mountain stages? If so, it should be briefly included in the article.
I have added a note on the matter. Zwerg Nase (talk) 12:25, 9 March 2020 (UTC)Reply

Move to France and evolving doping scandal

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  • "Svorada took the led of the points classification," - typo; lead
  Done

Pyrenees

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  • "Stage 10 saw the race move into the high mountains, the Pyrenees." - move into the Pyrenees high mountains
Reworded "starting with the Pyrenees".
  • "Ullrich took an unexpectedly convincing victory" - the text in bold is not neutral and will have to be reworded
I have actually removed the entire sentence since it is not quite relevant here.
  • "Ullrich had tyre puncture" - had a
  Done
  Done
  • "and after passing lone breakaway rider" - passing the sole
  Done

Transition stages and rider unrest

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  • The first paragraph of this section would be better off divided into two, with the second beginning after the statement from Jalabert
  Done
  • "as well as journalists going through trash cans at team hotels," - should be changed to waste containers for formality
  Done
  • "against which the police had renewed their investigation started in March" - that was started
  Done
  • "amid the treatment of them by police and press" - by the police and the press
  Done
  • "Leblanc negotiated with all team managers " - all the
  Done

Alps and second strike

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  • "he did not take on a raincoat for the descent." - wear
  Done
  Done
  • "and stretched their advantage over the chasing Julich," - more formal; increased
  Done
  • "two hours after the schedule." - behind schedule.
  Done
  • "Overnight, two further' Spanish-based teams," - more
  Done
  • "This eliminated Kelme's Escartín, fourth overall, from contention" - This caused the retirement of the fourth overall Escartín for Kelme.
  Done with slight change. Zwerg Nase (talk) 14:19, 9 March 2020 (UTC)Reply

Conclusion

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  • "and the lead was passed to the second placed rider," - I believe it will need to be made clear that this is the mountain classification lead that was passed over to another rider
  Done
  • "the mountains classification was won by more consistent Rinero" - by a more
  Done

Doping

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  • "claims to have flushed his doping products down the toilet even before the race began" - shorter and more neutral; says he flushed his doping products down the toilet before the race began.
  Done
  • "while he also stated that he believed" - an improvement; stated his belief
  Done
  Done
  • "with the results being published on 28 November, revealed that eight riders took EPO and four amphetamines." - revealing
  Done
  • "The riders on TVM" - The TVM riders
  Done
  • "Police did call in twelve riders" - called
  Done
  • "but then released." - before they were released.
  Done
  • Wikilink the term director sportif
  Done and corrected spelling
  • "At the same trial, Virenque received a nine-month racing ban" - the text in bold can be removed from this portion of text
  Done

Classification leadership and minor prizes

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  • "The winner received 20 seconds bonus" - the text in bold can be changed to say either a bonus of 20 seconds or a 20-second bonus
  Done
  • "with 6, 4, and 2 seconds bonus" - this section of text can be written as either with a bonus of 6, 4, and 2 or with bonuses of 6, 4, and 2 seconds
  Done
  • "35 for the stage winner down to 1 points" - typo; should be worded as point
  Done
  • "with 6, 4, and 2 points for the first three riders across the line respectively." - better; given to the first three finishers respectively.
It was purposefully phrased this way, since the intermediate sprint is not a finish line.
  • "and was identified with a green jersey." - by
  Done
  • "to the cyclist considered most combative." - considered the most
  Done. I have also combined both paragraphs concerning the combativity prizes into one. I think it was a little confusing before.
  • "The winner of the award wore a red number bib the next stage for the first time in 1998." - there's some words missing from this sentence which should be included in this portion of text
  Done Zwerg Nase (talk) 14:29, 9 March 2020 (UTC)Reply

UCI Road Rankings

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  • "Points were awarded to all finishers in the general classification, to the top ten finishers in each stage," - close reptition of the word "finishers"
  Done

Aftermath

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  • "with the ASO" - should it be written as with ASO to be in line with similar wording of the organisation?
In the only other instance before in this article, there is also a "the" before ASO, so I have made the consistency change the other way round.
  • "Richard Virenque and Manolo Saiz were originally also declared banned from the race. However, the UCI forced the race organisers to allow both to attend," - better; Richard Virenque and Manolo Saiz were originally banned from the race, before the UCI required the race organisers to allow both riders to enter,
  Done
  • "lower average speed by around 3 km/h (1.9 mph)." - of about
This needs to be a relative statement ("a change by that much"), not an absolute one ("average speed of"). Zwerg Nase (talk) 12:34, 9 March 2020 (UTC)Reply

In the media

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  • "In 2018, a movie centring around the 1998 Tour was announced. Titled The Domestique, the film will be directed by Kieron J. Walsh and written by Ciarán Cassidy." - think these two sentences can be shortened significantly and made into one
  Done

References

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  • References 62, 156 should include the translated titles of the respective sources
156 (now 157)   Done, but I cannot translate 62, that is the same in English. Zwerg Nase (talk) 12:37, 9 March 2020 (UTC)Reply
  • Reference 223 should have Variety as the work and not the publisher since it is a print magazine
  Done

Overall the main issues with the article concern how some of the prose is written and some wikilinks that would help those who are not familiar with the sport of cycling. On hold. MWright96 (talk) 08:26, 9 March 2020 (UTC)Reply

@MWright96: Thank you for the thorough review! I have adopted most suggestion, find comments on the rest above :) Zwerg Nase (talk) 14:34, 9 March 2020 (UTC)Reply
Pinging co-contributor BaldBoris. If you have any more things that catch your eye, feel free to edit :) Zwerg Nase (talk) 14:37, 9 March 2020 (UTC)Reply
Now promoting to GA class. I've made two edits to the article. MWright96 (talk) 07:44, 10 March 2020 (UTC)Reply
@MWright96: Thank you! Zwerg Nase (talk) 13:13, 10 March 2020 (UTC)Reply
I'm good with everything, awesome work guys! Fantastic review Micheal. BaldBoris 20:09, 10 March 2020 (UTC)Reply