Talk:2006 FIFA World Cup final/GA1
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Latest comment: 4 years ago by Kingsif in topic GA Review
GA Review
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Reviewer: Kingsif (talk · contribs) 01:28, 19 April 2020 (UTC)
Per request, I'll do this review :) Kingsif (talk) 01:28, 19 April 2020 (UTC)
There are only two other World Cup matches that are Good Articles, a US v England group match in 1950 and the Brazil v Germany 2014 semifinal - which vary, a lot. So I'm taking that as there being no set standard of this kind of article at GA, and I won't compare to these other articles except to say that both do have a background section, which is something this could benefit from, perhaps making the first two sections (Venue, Route to the final) into subsections of a background?
Style
edit- I don't think the venue section needs to be separated into paragraphs - the information works, flows, and fits as one.
- Is 'inducing' the right word in
inducing five other matches
? Is it supposed to mean 'as well as'? - I think the part in Italy's route section about Brian McBride could be cleaned up (no pun intended) a bit - perhaps throw in a semi-colon to give "...in the face; McBride left the pitch..." - this prevents any misunderstandings around the comma clauses and who 'who' refers to
- The sentence beginning
Their third and final group stage match
is a run-on and needs to be tightened up - I also think it should begin with 'In' or 'For' (unless grammar is changed in the rephrasing, of course)- Done. Rephrased. Vaselineeeeeeee★★★ 04:33, 19 April 2020 (UTC)
Italy took on Australia in which Materazzi
→ "Italy took on Australia in a match in which Materazzi" or "Italy had their match against Australia, in which Materazzi"- Sentence beginning
Luca Toni added two more goals
is also a run-on, and on first reading I was already confused which team were hitting the crossbars and if it was the same team needing saves, so it doesn't seem very clear- Done. Let me know if needs further rephrasing. Vaselineeeeeeee★★★ 04:33, 19 April 2020 (UTC)
- Needs a comma after 'extra time', before 'during'
- I don't think South Korea has a 'the' in front of it, in the first line of France's route
- Maybe change
Later, Patrick Vieira's header had crossed the goal-line
to "Later, a header by Patrick Vieira crossed the goal-line", for tense consistency - The sentence beginning
Their third and final group stage match
, as above, actually needs to start with 'In' or 'For'. - Same awful "in which" issue as the part above re. the round of 16, too
- Change the comma in
France took on Brazil, France won
to a semi-colon, for grammar Zinedine Zidane opened the scoring when he converted the resulting penalty kick
→ "Zinedine Zidane opened the scoring when he converted this kick" - no need to repeat/explain so close after- Re.
game-saving stop
- 'stop'? It wouldn't be that odd to say 'game-saving save', would it? If yes, though, it should be the adjectival 'game-saving' that is changed, not the technical noun 'save'. when he tipped a Zidane header over the crossbar from a Willy Sagnol cross
makes it sound like the Sagnol cross helped Buffon save the ball, because both the noun phrase 'Zidane header from a Sangol cross' and the verb phrase 'tipped over the crossbar' have been split and mixed up. Please fix this.- Done. Let me know if needs further rephrasing. Vaselineeeeeeee★★★ 04:33, 19 April 2020 (UTC)
- One of the most important parts, the headbutt! It is hard to read.
Five minutes later, Zidane and Materazzi were jogging up the pitch close to each other when briefly exchanged words after Materazzi had tugged at Zidane's jersey in an earlier play, provoking Zidane to headbutt Materazzi's chest, knocking him to the ground.
I don't think this is actually a complete sentence, and it's very unclear on the sequence of events because of the use of 'earlier' without proper context. How about something like: "Five minutes later, Zidane and Materazzi were jogging up the pitch alongside each other. They briefly exchanged words and Materazzi pulled at Zidane's jersey; this provoked Zidane to headbutt Materazzi's chest, knocking him to the ground." - Should probably explain what
the play was in the other direction
means - Comma after 'headset'
and joined him with Cameroon's Rigobert Song
→ "and meant he joined Cameroon's Rigobert Song"scored the winning penalty in which Italy one by a score of 5–3
→ "scored the winning penalty; Italy one by a score of 5–3"- Done. Also "one" to "won." Vaselineeeeeeee★★★ 04:33, 19 April 2020 (UTC)
talking trash to Zidane
is a very American phrasing - the article is in British English (certainly should be if it isn't), so this would be better phrased as simply "trash talking Zidane"he did not regret his offence because he felt that this would condone Materazzi's actions
doesn't make sense. I can't give a suggestion because it's not even clear what it's supposed to mean - I can guess that Zidane is saying he felt if he apologised/admitted regret, this would be tantamount to saying that Materazzi was in the right? At the moment it says that Zidane theoretically regretting it would be what would mean someone condones Materazzi's actions (condone is also not being correctly used, either, which is not helping)- Done. Vaselineeeeeeee★★★ 04:33, 19 April 2020 (UTC)
- The next sentence could also do with being rephrased, at least - it is a minefield of commas
- Done. Vaselineeeeeeee★★★ 04:33, 19 April 2020 (UTC)
- The last two paragraph-sentences (The Hidden Face and the RTL interview) feel awkwardly stuck on the end, and should be better integrated in some way
- Done. Also added some other info attributed from the Zidane article. Vaselineeeeeeee★★★ 04:33, 19 April 2020 (UTC)
- Needs work
Coverage
edit- Nice background on Italy
- France's looks shorter, but seems fine. Though it doesn't have mention of the team's expectations the way that Italy has - any information about that would be good to include
- Will looking into the feasibility of expanding/adding background section and France sections. Vaselineeeeeeee★★★ 04:33, 19 April 2020 (UTC)
- I expanded the France section a bit - but they really did have a much quieter campaign than Italy (no reds, a lot of 1-0 matches). I'll see what I can do with the background section tomorrow. I plan to highlight other WC matches they've played in, Euro final, expand on Calciopoli etc). Couldn't find much on what pundits thought at the start of the campaign - everyone thought Brazil were favourites, and France didn't report any major injuries - although Zidane did announce his retirement from football with Real Madrid and then said he would be completely done after the WC. Do you think that info would be better at the start of the France section or in a background section? Personally I think background. Vaselineeeeeeee★★★ 05:57, 19 April 2020 (UTC)
- I think background too, as it is context of the competition rather than the matches? Thanks for the work! Kingsif (talk) 17:20, 19 April 2020 (UTC)
- @Kingsif: I've added the section and tweaked the lead if you want to give it another read through. Regards, Vaselineeeeeeee★★★ 20:48, 19 April 2020 (UTC)
- @Vaselineeeeeeee: - I've given a copyedit to these, is there anything else tweaked that I should look at for a copyedit? (Nice work, though). Also, there are lots of duplicate wikilinks - there's a userscript for identifying them that you could add so that I don't have to list them all here. Kingsif (talk) 21:16, 19 April 2020 (UTC)
- @Kingsif: Thanks. I think I got them all. I think it looks great now - but another quick look through wouldn't hurt. Let me know if there's anything else. Regards, Vaselineeeeeeee★★★ 22:21, 19 April 2020 (UTC)
- Pre-match section is rather sparse? I would include the Officials and team selection there, but don't do that if it's against the World Cup/football match MOS
- Needs attention
Illustration
edit- Infobox is good, standard use to show the venue - very nice image of said venue
- Route to the final table is clear, and supported with prose, too
- Images from the match used to illustrate players, which is valuable, especially for Zidane
- Could the Buffon etc. image be aligned left? He is facing and gesturing to the right, which would work better if it was in the direction of the body text rather than the edge of the window (and it looks neater than having two separate images directly on top of/below each other)
- Done. Vaselineeeeeeee★★★ 04:33, 19 April 2020 (UTC)
- That image was actually from a group match, so switched it for some other images. Vaselineeeeeeee★★★ 22:22, 19 April 2020 (UTC)
- Match details illustration and stats table as standard
- Question
Neutrality
edit- Who's calling Malouda's penalty a result of
limited contact
- if it's not from a source, it's just something the Italian fans are shouting - Otherwise looks good.
- Question
Stability
edit- Talk page and history look fine
- Pass
Verifiability
edit- Selection of reliable sources from across the world of sport and European media
- Everything cited in line, except for:
- the sentence ending
claiming that Materazzi called Zidane "the son of a terrorist whore".
- which really needs one (if uncited, this also becomes a neutrality concern)
- the paragraph on popular culture depictions of the headbutt, which shouldn't be too hard to find
- Done - for song and statue. For Family Guy episode, could only really find fandom sites, but its episode article is a GA article and shows a picture of the incident on the show (no source though). For The Simpsons episode same deal. Hope that's alright. Vaselineeeeeeee★★★ 04:58, 19 April 2020 (UTC)
- Needs attention
Copyright
edit- Images all commons licensed
- Copyvio check is clear
- Pass
Overall
edit- on hold Some grammar to clean up, a few other notes. A big takeaway might be that "in which" is not a replacement for accurately splitting clauses, and is drastically overused in this article. Kingsif (talk) 02:34, 19 April 2020 (UTC)
- Promoted. Kingsif (talk) 22:48, 19 April 2020 (UTC)