A fact from Kivu Ebola epidemic appeared on Wikipedia's Main Page in the Did you know column on 26 March 2021 (check views). The text of the entry was as follows:
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The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
First off, you wanna make the lead more punchy and structured.
I'd restructure the first few sentences to something like, "The Kivu Ebola epidemic was an outbreak of Ebola Virus disease that ravaged eastern DRC from 2018 to 2020. The second largest recorded outbreak, it resulted in a deathtoll of 3313." -then go into chronology - I wouldn't put in about surpassing 1000 in the lead. I am happy to have a go at this if you want to see how and are happy with it. Done[1][2]
Since January 2015, the affected province and general area have been experiencing a military conflict, which hindered treatment and prevention efforts - ungainly, how about something like, "A military conflict in the region that had begun in January 2015 hindered treatment and prevention efforts" Done[3]
In May 2019, the WHO reported that since January of that year there had been 42 attacks on health facilities and 85 health workers had been wounded or killed - try, "In May 2019, the WHO reported that 85 health workers had been wounded or killed in 42 attacks on health facilities since January (of that year)". Done[4]
The epidemiology section looks odd with a big table at the top, however I concede it is hard to see where it would otherwise go. I think a summary paragraph which states how many cases and deaths over what time period is important to put at the top actually. Done (please see article as several edits were needed for this)
The index case is believed to have been the death and unsafe burial of a 65-year-old woman on 25 July in the town of Mangina; soon afterwards seven members of her immediate family died - need to reword the latter part as wording is same as source article. Done[5]
Also in the Democratic Republic of the Congo subsection, para 3 should be moved up and appended onto para 1, to keep material in chronological order. Done[6]
Para 4 seems out of place. Material referring to tables/graphs should be next to same. Other material on total numbers can go to summary para at top or in choronoloical order further down the page Done[7][8]
In the Becoming the 2nd biggest EVD outbreak subsection, the stubby para 2 can go straight onto para 1. Done[9]
have written some of the 'summary paragraph' off wiki last night(the first suggestion raised above) and will begin to replace shortly...along with the points that follow, thank you--Ozzie10aaaa (talk) 12:55, 2 March 2021 (UTC)Reply
Am pondering whether the Virology section would be better named Pathogen ...as that is the crux of what the section is covering. And not about the science of studying viruses...? Done[10]
This is the same strain that was involved in the early 2018 outbreak in western DRC. - ...but a different genetic coding..? I presume the outbreaks were genetically not linked...? Material discussing this should be added. Done[11] (please see edit summary for clarification, thank you)..I also added additional ref[12]
Both Ebola and Marburg virus are part of the Filoviridae family. - is this statement too general for this article?
...The filovirus genome contains seven genes, - the term "filovirus" is used for the first time here but not explained or linked. Done[13] and [14]
The graph that follows is an indication of the genetic epidemiology of the virus until October 2019, when the outbreak decline began. - why the italicised bit? Done[15]
ongoing military attacks in the region which created a perfect storm for the virus - "perfect storm" doesn't need to be in italics....? Done[16]
On 26 October, the WHO indicated that half of confirmed cases were not showing any fever symptom - should that be "symptoms"? Done[17]
I would move the Genetic epidemiology section to the bottom of the pathogen section as it is discussing the pathogen and relationship to the other outbreak (natural continuation). I'd remove the sentence on genetic epidemiology as redundant. Done[18] (I presume you mean the chart, as the Genetic epidemiology subsection is/was already at the bottom of the Pathogen section)
Transmission
Ebola virus is found in a variety of bodily fluids, such as breast milk, saliva, stool, blood, and semen. Due to this, the Ebola virus is an extremely infectious and contagious disease as a result of easy contact with any of these bodily fluids - very wordy, why not, "Ebola virus is found in a variety of bodily fluids, such as breast milk, saliva, stool, blood, and semen, rendering it highly contagious due to ease of contact." Done[19]
Both Ebola and Marburg virus are part of the Filoviridae family. Filoviruses are part of a virus family which cause severe hemorrhagic fever named Filoviridae - these sentences should be combined somehow or one removed as they overlap alot. Also family names are not italicized Done[20] and [21]
The filovirus genome contains seven genes, including VP40. - I don't understand why this is relevant on this page. Done (have trimmed)[22]
Why is "sequence" italicised in the captionbox of the table in the Genetic epidemiology section? Done[23]
....achieved 60% efficacy for sanitary burial.... - "efficacy" is when something works in a trial, "effectiveness" is when it works in the field/in Real Life - which meaning is this meant here?
All close contacts should be monitored for 21 days following their last known exposure to the case and be isolated if they become ill. - needs to be rephrased so doesn't sound like a manual Done[25](has been rephrased)
Disease surveillance in North Kivu and Ituri was complicated by many factors, but there were two major obstacles to effective surveillance: 1) the outbreaks of sporadic violence against the response and affected communities and 2) suspicion of the response in parts of some affected communities. - wordy and makes one wonder what other factors there were. Make simpler, like "In North Kivu and Ituri, outbreaks of sporadic violence and suspicion of the response in parts of some affected communities impacted heavily on disease surveillance." Done[26]
In August 2018, the WHO evaluated [the benefits and risks of] several drugs used to treat EVD... - segment in brackets is unnecessary and can be removed Done[27]
The See Also section is redundant and should be removed - all these items are linked and discussed through the article Done[28]
The History section is a problem. Para 2 should be incorporated into the epidemiology section in chronological order as that is where it belongs. Done[29]
The Projected cases should be also incorporated into the epidemiology section in chronological order as that is where it belongs. Done[30]
On 22 January, the total case count began to approach 1,000 cases - why not just, "On 22 January, the total case count approached 1,000 cases" Done[31]
The four graphs in a row in the Becoming the 2nd biggest EVD outbreak are uncited. Also their dates should be formatted in the way that other dates in the article are formatted Done[32] and Done[33](please indicate should further formatting be needed, thank you)
Latest comment: 3 years ago6 comments3 people in discussion
DYK
The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.
...@Ozzie10aaaa:...Copyvio issues due to names of organisations mainly. No image, article is thoroughly referenced. Some press releases could be replaced with other emerging sources. The hook needs some tweaking to clarify that the 2018-2020 outbreak was the second largest Ebola outbreak after the one in West Africa, possibly using ... In the Democratic Republic of the Congo, 11 outbreaks have been recorded since the first recognized outbreak in 1976. The 10th EVD outbreak in North Kivu, Ituri and South Kivu Provinces was the country's longest EVD outbreak and the second largest in the world after the 2014–2016 EVD outbreak in West Africa.[34] Or maybe a hook to show that it was the 10th outbreak since 1976. I don't think many people know that there have been so many. Great work on this, well done. I think this is your first dyk nom., so just say if need help. I did a bit of editing...please check it. Whispyhistory (talk) 04:45, 12 March 2021 (UTC)Reply
ALT1:... that the 10th EVD outbreak Kivu Ebola epidemic was the country's longest EVD outbreak and the second largest in the world after the 2014–2016 EVD outbreak in West Africa? Source: [35]
Random check of citations okay. I tweaked the proposed hook to clarify ebola not all outbreaks. Added a trimmed version of ALT1. All hooks check out...Proposed hook or ALT1a, which defines EVD are better. Thank you @Ozzie10aaaa:. In case you have more thoughts...I came across the role of vaccines in ending the outbreak [36]. Whispyhistory (talk) 14:56, 12 March 2021 (UTC)Reply
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
