Talk:Bowen Byram/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: AryKun (talk · contribs) 17:59, 25 January 2022 (UTC)

• Will do soon. AryKun (talk) 17:59, 25 January 2022 (UTC)
• "After only 19 regular" → "After playing only 19 regular"
  • Modified to playing in as technically more correct, since he was not on the ice all 60 minutes.
• Why is Colorado Avalanche italicized in the infobox?
  • It's a quirk of the infobox itself; the "team" parameter automatically italicizes.
• "midget hockey" → Link.
  • Added.
• "part of a 5–2 defeat of the Regina Pats" → "part of a 5–2 victory over the Regina Pats" would be better and less confusing
  • Modified.
• "his 16-year season" → How can a season be 16 years long?
  • Clarified as 16-year-old season.
• "helped the team to clinch" → The "to" is unnecessary.
  • Removed.
• "first Vancouver Giant in history" → "first Vancouver Giant ever" would be better
  • Changed to to ever receive.
• "receive four negative tests for the COVID-19 virus" → COVID-19 virus doesn't make sense, "test negative for COVID-19 four times" would be better
  • Modified but included the tests, because production of four physical test results was the qualification. It seems pedantic, but considering false positives and negatives, I want to be precise with what was actually being asked.
• "playing in 11 minutes" → "playing for 11 minutes"
  • Changed.
• "he absorbed his third concussion" → Absorbed doesn't seem like the right verb
  • Modified to "sustained".
• Refs are all good.

AryKun All points addressed; please see this diff. Thank you for your prompt review and excellent suggestions! — GhostRiver 16:35, 28 January 2022 (UTC)