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Latest comment: 2 years ago3 comments2 people in discussion
As a general note: in multiple spots, I opted for a translation based on meaning rather than what the words literally say. For instance, in the line "Вот у хозяина проклятье Каина," the phrase "проклятье Каина" would be literally translated as "the curse of Cain," but that's not really a commonly used phrase in (my dialect of) English. As such, I went for a translation that I felt preserved the meaning: "And then there's my old boss, a wicked man." I did this in several spots. I'll admit my knowledge of Russian idiom is not as good as it should be, so in some cases there may have been some meaning lost. If anyone has any suggestions for how to improve the translation, feel free to make them. Lkb335 (talk) 17:08, 17 February 2022 (UTC)Reply
It would be improved by just translating the Russian and glossing the idioms if actually necessary. The mark or curse of Cain is a thing across all Christian cultures, including English.
Fwiw, that's what WP:NPOV and WP:OR actually require, as opposed to offering your own artistic impression of what might feel closer to the original if it were being rewritten in modern American vernacular. Someone else's sourced published translation would be even better.
At least based on Google Translate, some parts of your version also simply seem completely wrong. The age of the song and poverty of the person and place seem to demand that he's talking about a handheld lantern instead of a flashlight or (out of nowhere) streetlight. — LlywelynII22:30, 16 September 2022 (UTC)Reply
The word фонарь can be logically translated as anything from lamp to flashlight to streetlight to any other light, basically. Given that it's followed by the verb шататься, I think a streetlight--i.e., a lantern hanging from a pole--makes sense, but just using "lantern" would make sense as well. I'm not sure why you mentioned a flashlight. I would also caution relying on google translate, particularly for translating artistic works. Given that, as you said, the narrator is poor, it seems unlikely that she would possess a lantern at all, or anything other than rags. I'm not sure what other parts of the translation are completely wrong.
As I said, I've never heard of anyone in my particular dialect of English using the phrase "curse of Cain," but I'll change that, sure.
In terms of using another translation: I asked about that here. In a prior revision of this article, I included a translation of the song by two reputable scholars; however, upon realizing that this was a violation of site policy, as the translation is also copyright, I removed it and requested revdel. Lkb335 (talk) 19:46, 18 September 2022 (UTC)Reply