Talk:Cornell Botanic Gardens/GA1

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: The Utahraptor^Talk/_Contribs 23:06, 27 December 2010 (UTC)

I will review this article. My review will be posted within the next hour or two. The Utahraptor^Talk/_Contribs 23:06, 27 December 2010 (UTC)

I don't believe this article is quite there yet. There's a lot of work to be done, so I am failing this article. Below are some suggestions for improvement. The Utahraptor^Talk/_Contribs 23:40, 27 December 2010 (UTC)

• This entire article could use a copy edit for tone. Some sections seem to be written, at least in part, in a promotional tone.
• Are there any more images available? Can an image of the plantation taken prior to 1900 be produced?
• Add {{convert}} templates wherever possible.
• This article needs an infobox.
• "...located adjacent to the Cornell University campus, Ithaca, New York." - Consider revising to "...located adjacent to the Cornell University campus in Ithaca, New York."
• "It also includes 40 different nature areas covering 4,300 acres of rich and diverse habitats." - Consider removing the "also", as nothing that is included was mentioned prior to this sentence. Also consider removing "rich and diverse", as this does not sound neutral.
• "Finally, the Plantations maintains four gardens on Cornell's central campus." - Consider revising to "The Plantations also maintains four gardens on Cornell's central campus."
• The history section seems a bit rushed. It should be expanded to at least three or four paragraphs rather than just two paragraphs.
• "...Louis Agassiz, an internationally-known naturalist remarked that no other area..." - Consider adding a comma after naturalist.
• "When the university built is first women's dormitory..." - Change "is" to "its".
• "...a conservatory for growing plants and also a specimen tree collection." - Consider removing "also".
• "...Cornell acquired a demonstration forest, near Saranac Lake,..." - Consider removing the commas.
• "As a part of establishing that school, Cornell acquired a demonstration forest, near Saranac Lake, in the Adirondacks drew heated opposition from neighboring land owners." - This sentence makes little sense, and should be reworded.
• "...in the Adirondacks drew..." - Who/What are Adirondacks?
• "Although political opposition caused Cornell to transfer that forest lands under the "forever wild" protection..." - Consider replacing "that" with "the".
• "In 1935 the university formally established..." - Consider adding a comma after 1935.
• "...Liberty Hyde Bailey, the Dean of the College of Agriculture proposed the..." - Consider adding a comma after Agriculture.
• "...although 85% of the Plantations' budget comes from gifts." - For consistency, consider moving the apostrophe between the "n" and the "s", since it was done in the previous sentence.
• "In the early 1970s the Arboretum was upgraded..." - Consider adding a comma after 1970s.
• "At the turn of the 21st century..." - Consider revising to "In the 21st century..." or "In the early 2000s..." - early 2000s is ambiguous. "Turn of the century" is an established formulation.
• "...the Plantations embarked on a construction program which included: Arboretum Center (2000)..." - Consider removing the colon.
• "Cornell Plantations also manages an additional 1400 ha (3500 acres) of biologically diverse natural areas including bogs, fens..." - Consider adding a comma after areas.
• "The Plantations operate side by side with Cornell's other programs." - Consider revising to "The Plantations operate side-by-side with Cornell's other programs."
• "Cornell's academic buildings (which are owned by either the university or New York State (for statutory college buidings))..." - Consider revising to "Cornell's academic buildings, which are owned by either the university or New York State (for statutory college buildings),..."
• "...statutory college buidings..." - Fix the spelling of building.
• "The College has the Dilmun Hill Student Farm is a student-run farm that has been practicing sustainable agriculture on Cornell University's campus since 1996." - Consider revising to "The College owns the Dilmun Hill Student Farm, a student-run farm that has been practicing sustainable agriculture on Cornell University's campus since 1996." - NYS owns the farm, I used "operates"
• "Finally, the College also operates Campus Area Farms comprises 11 different farms and 325 acres in and around the Cornell Campus." - Consider revising to "Finally, the College also operates Campus Area Farms, which comprises of 11 different farms and 325 acres in and around the Cornell Campus."
• "What distinguishes the Plantations from these other adjacent properties is that the Plantations are open to the public and are designed for both instruction and enjoyment." - This sounds a bit promotional; consider revising to "The Plantations are open to the public and are designed for instruction as well as leisure."
• "The Plantations provide a venue for a number of annual activities including a celebration of Arbor Day and the Cornell Reunion 5 Mile Run." - Even though it's just one sentence, it needs a source. All paragraphs must have at least one source, and while this is just one sentence, it is separated from the other paragraphs, and should therefore be treated as such.
• "...a number of annual activities including a celebration..." - Consider adding a comma after activities.

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.