Talk:Hurricane Frank (2010)/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 01:09, 15 July 2011 (UTC)

• You might wanna specify where it became a TD in the lede.
  •  Done. YE ^{Pacific Hurricane} 16:12, 15 July 2011 (UTC)
• "It strengthened to its initial as a moderate tropical storm" - is there something missing?
  • It still doesn't work. "its initial intensity" would technically refer to the first time it had any sort of intensity. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 17:04, 15 July 2011 (UTC)
    •  Done. YE ^{Pacific Hurricane} 21:15, 15 July 2011 (UTC)
• "with over 800,00 people affected" - is that supposed to be 80,000 or 800,000? And what does it mean to be affected?
  • Fixed, the first part, but i'm confused on the second part of your comment. YE ^{Pacific Hurricane} 16:12, 15 July 2011 (UTC)
    • What does it mean for a person to be affected? ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 17:04, 15 July 2011 (UTC)
      • • I changed to impact if that's what you meant. YE ^{Pacific Hurricane} 21:15, 15 July 2011 (UTC)
        • I reworded "affected" to "in the storm's path". YE ^{Pacific Hurricane} 17:36, 16 July 2011 (UTC)
• The lede said it formed from a tropical wave, but the MH doesn't say anything about that.
  •  Done. YE ^{Pacific Hurricane} 16:17, 15 July 2011 (UTC)
    • Well, no, it did form from a tropical wave. Just find a source to prove it. (see below) ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 17:04, 15 July 2011 (UTC)
      • Added that it came from a tropical wave. YE ^{Pacific Hurricane} 15:43, 16 July 2011 (UTC)
• How come you don't use the TCR for the first part of the MH?
  • Because I wrote the origins before the TCR came out but I add some info on its origins.YE ^{Pacific Hurricane}
    • OK, that works. One quick comment that I noticed. You should specify in which direction for this clause - "about 115 mi (185 km) off the Mexican coast on August 19". The current wordnig doesn't indicate it reached the Pacific. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 17:04, 15 July 2011 (UTC)
      • • I believe I fixed this. YE ^{Pacific Hurricane} 17:36, 16 July 2011 (UTC)
• "Initially no change in organization," - that isn't a complete clause
  •  Done. YE ^{Pacific Hurricane} 16:44, 15 July 2011 (UTC)
• You start two consecutive sentences with "However". Watch out for that.
  • Fixed. YE ^{Pacific Hurricane} 16:44, 15 July 2011 (UTC)
• What caused the rapid weakening? Just shear, or anything else? What caused the shear, for that matter?
  •  Done. YE ^{Pacific Hurricane}
    • I would still like to know what caused the wind shear. Shear doesn't just appear. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 17:04, 15 July 2011 (UTC)
• When did Frank weaken to a TD? And when did the remnant low dissipate?
  •  Done. YE ^{Pacific Hurricane}
• "On August 27, the NHC downgraded Frank into a tropical storm, with poorly organized convection located west of the center due to strong wind shear, and as such the agency forecast the storm to weaken into a tropical depression within the next 36 hours." - that's rather wordy.
  •  Done. YE ^{Pacific Hurricane} 16:57, 15 July 2011 (UTC)
• You also start two consecutive sentences with Frank in the MH.
•  Done. YE ^{Pacific Hurricane}
  • I do feel you say "Frank" too many times in the MH. You could find variations, such as "it", "the hurricane", "the storm", etc. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 17:04, 15 July 2011 (UTC)
    • I reword two "Frank"s in the article. YE ^{Pacific Hurricane} 15:43, 16 July 2011 (UTC)
• "Rain was also in the forecast" - that seems like a rather dumpy way to end a paragraph.
  • Agreed, but I can't think of anything better. YE ^{Pacific Hurricane} 17:06, 15 July 2011 (UTC)
    • Perhaps combine the threat of waves and rain? ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 18:32, 15 July 2011 (UTC)
• So how did Frank cause its impact? You go from forecasts to the storm damaging houses and being all nasty. Was it waves? Rain? Winds? Tornadoes? Meteor showers? Divine apocalyptic destruction?
  • It was already mentioned in the article. YE ^{Pacific Hurricane} 17:06, 15 July 2011 (UTC)
    • No, there's not a single mention to rainfall, waves, tornadoes, winds, meteor showers, or divine apocalyptic destructions. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 18:32, 15 July 2011 (UTC)
      •  Done. YE ^{Pacific Hurricane} 21:15, 15 July 2011 (UTC)
        • Could you please stop using that template and point out what you did? I don't see any mentions of actual meteorological effects (sans landslides). --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 04:38, 16 July 2011 (UTC)
        • "The maximum 24 hour rainfall total was 14 in (360 mm) in Miguel de la Madrid, Oax. In addition, seven other sites received more than 4 in (100 mm) of rain in a 24 hour period.[17] On August 22. In addition, a total of six deaths were reported. A total 30 homes were destroyed with 26 others damaged due to flooding. Two major roads were damaged with another road blocked due to a landslides. Several rivers overflowed their banks,[18] thus causing 171 rural communities to be flooded in seven municipalities" these first three sentences mention meteorologic effect. I have a peak rainfall, mention of landslides, heavy rain, and flooding. 15:43, 16 July 2011 (UTC)
• "110 communities requested assistance from the government" - you shouldn't start a sentence with a number
  • Fixed. YE ^{Pacific Hurricane} 17:06, 15 July 2011 (UTC)
• You also misunderstand what the 100 million pesos is about. The sentence for the source in question roughly translates to "The Governor of the State, Ulysses Ruiz Ortiz, revealed that the company needs more than 100 million pesos to compensate the damages caused by the rains." So that has nothing to do with damage.
  • I re-worded the sentence slightly. YE ^{Pacific Hurricane} 17:06, 15 July 2011 (UTC)
    • But then the infobox is wrong. There isn't a source for a damage total. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 18:32, 15 July 2011 (UTC)
      •  Done. YE ^{Pacific Hurricane} 21:15, 15 July 2011 (UTC)
        • But... can you find the actual damage total now? --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 04:38, 16 July 2011 (UTC)
        • I did multiple goggle searches and I did expand the impact section, but I did not find a damage total. YE ^{Pacific Hurricane} 17:36, 16 July 2011 (UTC)

All in all not bad. I'll put it on hold, since it shouldn't be too difficult to finish up. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 01:09, 15 July 2011 (UTC)