Talk:Globalization and women in China/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Nikkimaria (talk) 14:27, 17 November 2009 (UTC)

Hey guys, I'll be reviewing this article for GA status. I've moved the GAN template to the top of the talk page, and will be starting the GA review in a few hours. If there are concerns from other contributors that have yet to be addressed, you may wish to do so before I review the article. In any case, feel free to ask here or at my talk page if you have any questions regarding changes to the article or the reviewing process. Cheers, Nikkimaria (talk) 14:27, 17 November 2009 (UTC)

Preliminary review

This is fundamentally a good article, but it's not at GA status yet. Here are some preliminary concerns to be addressed:

Writing and formatting

You could use a few more internal links, but you also need to find some other articles which can link to this one (this article is currently an orphan). The article could use some general copy-editing, but consistency is more important at this point. Be very careful to maintain a strict encyclopedic tone - not conversation, but not academic either. The "See also" section should be before References, and there's some extra spacing in the later parts of the article. If those tags at the top of the page have been addressed, they should be removed. Try to relate the sections as much as possible - the parts should form a coherent whole.

Accuracy and verifiability

Quick formatting point: citations should immediately follow punctuation, as in "The sun is big.[1]" Book citations should generally have page numbers - some are missing. All web citations must have access dates and publisher/author - some are missing. Referencing formats should be consist as much as possible.

I would add one point: The current lead picture of the crowded street has: A crowded street in China, where the female population has reached 1,254,950,000 (2007 est.). Where the female population is 1.2 billion! I'm pretty sure that's wrong as that would mean that there were only a few thousand males. So could either the female be removed or could the estimate be drastically reduced to a much more accurate number. Sanguis Sanies (talk) 15:35, 22 November 2009 (UTC)

Per Wikipedia policies, WP:Close paraphrasing is not permitted. There are currently some problems with close paraphrasing from this site in the New Culture section. Nikkimaria (talk) 22:09, 24 November 2009 (UTC)

Neutrality

This is definitely a problem for this article. The main issue here is that parts of the article are written like a university essay, as well as from a Western point of view. Be very careful not to appear to pass judgment on the Chinese system of values. Certain words introduce editorial bias and should be avoided (see WP:WTA for hints).

Broad, Stability, Images

No major problems here, although I'll probably have more to say in the in-depth review. I'll start working on that once you've had a chance to take a look at what's here. Cheers, Nikkimaria (talk) 02:26, 18 November 2009 (UTC)

Detailed review

In addition to the concerns noted above, here are some more specific problems:

Writing and formatting

• The article is still in need of some general copy-editing, including grammar, punctuation, hyphens and dashes, redundancies, flow, clarity, and generally well-written prose
• Make sure not to duplicate information within the article. Coordinate between group members to improve coherency and cohesiveness
• There's no need to wikilink the same term more than once. For example, Communism is linked 6 times. Also, terms that are linked in the main article shouldn't also be in See also
• The article needs to be categorized
• Based on the length of the article, the lead should be at least 3 paragraphs
• Unfamiliar terms and jargon should be linked and/or briefly explained in the context of the article. For example, what is a dagongmei?
• References should be formatted more consistently
• Generally speaking, short one-paragraph sections would be better merged into larger sections
• Some section headings are overly wordy. Also, "Early Female Writers" should be "Early female writers"
• Short one- or two-sentence paragraphs should be avoided
• Be sure to make your meaning clear. For example, "roughly 200,000 female infants are killed per year due to the preference of male children and an advancement in technologies" - I know what you mean by that statement, but an average reader might not
• Try to avoid passive voice

Accuracy and verifiability

• Be wary of closely paraphrasing sources, as that can violate WP:COPYVIO
• Check the details of your sources to make sure that the reference section is accurate - for example, I'm reasonably sure that the title of Tamney's book should have "chinese" start with a capital letter
• Citations should appear immediately after punctuation without a space
• Web sources should have access dates and publishers/authors

Some of these sites don't have authors because it was from a public website with many different people editing it. —Preceding unsigned comment added by Angelalhan (talk • contribs) 22:44, 8 December 2009 (UTC)

In that case, the website is the publisher. However, could you indicate specifically which reference this comment refers to?

• "pp" is used when citing more than one page; "p" is usually used for a single page
• Lee and Larson need page numbers
• Sung needs page numbers

Broad

• You need to either change the title or change the scope of the content here. As noted by other editors, "Gender aspects of globalization in China" covers both genders (As well as LGBT issues), and is focused on globalization

The new title is better, but titles are subject to WP:Naming conventions, in particular the part about formatting. Also, the article should be tightened slightly to focus more narrowly on globalization.

Neutrality

• Look at WP:WTA and WP:PEACOCK - certain words should be avoided because they introduce editorial bias
• This article is fairly Western-centric - be sure to accommodate other viewpoints
• Maintain an encyclopedic tone at all times
• Do not use original research or engage in argumentation - this is not written in the same way as a university essay

Stability

No issues noted

Images

*The map could use a more descriptive caption

• The caption of the street image should link it to the article text - why is this image relevant here? Date might be relevant here
• On the other hand, date is unnecessary in the bound foot image
• Caption on the factory image should be edited - "QA" should be spelled out or linked, the size is irrelevant (unless the "small hands" point is made in the text), "drives" should be linked, and "notebook" probably should be too
• The silk worker image is lacking a description. Note that description is not the same as caption - if you click on the image, you will be taken to the image page, where it is tagged as lacking a description

The image description section was protected so I just deleted the image.