Talk:Leila (Prayaag Akbar novel)/GA1

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Latest comment: 5 years ago by The Rambling Man in topic GA Review

GA Review

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Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 20:37, 12 September 2019 (UTC)Reply


Comments

  • "with whom she has a girl, " I think "daughter" would be more appropriate.
  • "by goons known as repeaters" not sure about the use of "goon" and if they are known by "repeaters" I would expect that to be capitalised.
  • "party on the doubt of water wastage" I don't understand what this means.
  • "She one day escapes. She is later caught.." merge, "She one day escapes but is later caught...
  • "house keeper" one word.
  • "an advantaged family of the Dixits at the Record Towers" do you mean "the Dixits, an advantaged family at Record Towers"?
  • "through the bureaucracy," doesn't make sense.
  • "he neglects to make the arch under due date" -> "he fails to complete the arch by its due date"...
  • "Feeling for Mrs. Dixit," feeling what?
  • "her in getting away" -> "her to escape".
  • "Shalini achieves the richness facility..." what?

... I think I'll need to give it a quickfail here. The prose here is practically beyond my comprehension. It really needs a thorough copyedit to iron out the nuances of the prose right now. I think the rest of it looks alright, but the Plot section needs a complete overhaul. The Rambling Man (Staying alive since 2005!) 16:17, 13 September 2019 (UTC)Reply