Talk:Marharyta Fefilava

GA Review

This review is transcluded from Talk:Marharyta Fjafilawa/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Sportsfan77777 (talk · contribs) 00:59, 28 October 2019 (UTC)

Lead

• The spelling of her name in Belarusian and Russian should be in the lead. See Victoria Azarenka for an example.
  • I don't actually know how I would go about doing this (I wasn't aware that Russian names were different than Belarusian.) Any ideas who I could contact? Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 15:08, 28 October 2019 (UTC)
• I would suggest dividing the lead into two paragraphs.

 Done Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 15:08, 28 October 2019 (UTC)

• Earlier on, it should state what tours and leagues she competes on or in. It seems like the Euro Tour, and the Baltic Pool League. I'm not sure what the Arena Opens are a part of, or if there is another tour or league I am missing?
  • They are just generic tournaments. I have added she plays on both tours. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 15:27, 28 October 2019 (UTC)
• Some of the Belarusian championships she has won are men's competitions. I would suspect that is worth mentioning in the lead.
  • strictly speaking,they are not men's tournaments, but mixed. I have added Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 15:27, 28 October 2019 (UTC)
• Has she done anything in the last two years worth mentioning in the lead?
  • Reached a couple Tour finals, but nothing extra. I've added that she reached three finals. (One happened since I posted the nom.) Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 15:35, 28 October 2019 (UTC)
• Does she have a specialty, or expertise? If yes, that should go near the beginning. The infobox lists her as only playing 9-ball and 10-ball. Is that on purpose? Or were 8-ball and straight pool left out by mistake?
  • Not really mistake, mistake, nine-ball is by far the most popular type of pool out there. Realistically, pool players will play whatever is going, but I've added the others. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 15:27, 28 October 2019 (UTC)

Career

• I would recommend copyediting this section. There are many basic grammar mistakes.
• Some of the sentences don't seem to state the associated pool game. For example: "Later that season she gained victory in the Baltic Pool League held in Tartu and in the final against Agnė Jarušauskaitė won 7–4"
  • I've mentioned at the first mention of the individual tours. It's pretty much all nine-ball.
• What is the Baltic Pool League? How does it compare to the Euro Tour? Is she competing frequently or infrequently on each of these?

The Baltic Pool league isn't that big of a deal. The Euro Tour is the continental tour (hence the name) the BPL isn't even notable enough for it's own article in my eyes, but winning a tournament is worth including. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 22:36, 28 October 2019 (UTC)

• Maybe divide this section into two sub-sections: one for junior career and one for senior or professional career?
  • Good idea  Done Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 22:36, 28 October 2019 (UTC)
• It doesn't state anywhere that she became No. 1 on the Euro Tour, or even what she did to accomplish that.
  • Added. With a source. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 22:36, 28 October 2019 (UTC)
• I imagine her accomplishments from the last two years can be expanded to more than two sentences.
• In general, the first three paragraphs cover four or five years, and the last paragraph covers five years. I would suspect the last five years could be expanded to be at least as long as the first five years, unless she has really played much less frequently as a senior player compared to as a junior.
  • I've done some expansion. outside of the Euro Tour events (and her national titles), she hasn't done much Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 22:36, 28 October 2019 (UTC)

Titles

• She has won more Belarusian Championships in the last two years.
• It's not clear that most of these are women's competitions, or that "mixed" refers to competitions open to everyone.
• There are lots of extra spaces, and maybe some mis-capitalizations.

 Done Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 22:38, 28 October 2019 (UTC)

Personal life

• You could probably reiterate a slightly-reworded version of the state funding point in the lead. It sounds important.

added. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 22:39, 28 October 2019 (UTC)

Overall

• "Belarusian" is frequently misspelled.

I'm clearly not smart, weirdly my autocorrect is really badly wrong on this word. I've fixed throughout. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 22:39, 28 October 2019 (UTC)

Those are the main points I have. I think this article is far from passing, but it's also a short article, so it shouldn't take too long to fix. Placing on hold. Sportsfan77777 (talk) 01:27, 28 October 2019 (UTC)

This all seems pretty doable. I'll get to it as soon as possible. Thank you for your review! Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 10:38, 28 October 2019 (UTC)

Done quite a few changes here Sportsfan77777. Let me know what you think. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 14:23, 29 October 2019 (UTC)

Hi Sportsfan77777, sorry to bother you, anything additional for this one? Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 18:19, 28 November 2019 (UTC)

• I made some edits. Feel free to look those over. Sportsfan77777 (talk) 05:42, 30 November 2019 (UTC)
• In the lead, this statement "She also reached the final of the European Junior Championship in 2014, losing 6–3 to Diana Khodjaeva." isn't in the prose. Sportsfan77777 (talk) 05:42, 30 November 2019 (UTC)

• It is "She also entered the junior events, reaching the semi-final of the eight-ball competition, and reached the final of the nine-ball competition, losing 3–6 to Kamila Khodjaeva" - it's the same person, actually (I'm not sure why so many players go by multiple names, but it's a translation issue I believe (someone like Eklent Kaci has also been Klenty Kaci...) I'll make it consistent, and fix the score in the lede. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 10:56, 30 November 2019 (UTC)

• Also, is it called the European Junior Championships or the European Youth Championships? Sportsfan77777 (talk) 05:42, 30 November 2019 (UTC)

• Both (and there's actually a European Pupils championships. It's dependent on age (there's a u17, u19 and a u21 event as per [7] Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 10:56, 30 November 2019 (UTC)

• It looks like for the events here, it's just the Girls Championships (not Youth, or Juniors) then? (And the Youth and Juniors are separate events.) Sportsfan77777 (talk) 20:11, 1 December 2019 (UTC)

• And is it correct that all of the Euro Tour events highlighted in the prose are for nine-ball? Sportsfan77777 (talk) 05:42, 30 November 2019 (UTC)

• Yep. All Euro Tour events are nine-ball. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 10:56, 30 November 2019 (UTC)

• Thank you for your review Sportsfan77777 Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 10:56, 30 November 2019 (UTC)

• I think that's everything, and the format is consistent now. Passing! Sportsfan77777 (talk) 20:18, 1 December 2019 (UTC)