Talk:Michael Jackson's This Is It (album)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: –Chase (talk) 02:11, 28 March 2010 (UTC)

GA review (see here for criteria)

1. It is reasonably well written.

   a (prose): b (MoS):

2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.

   a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):

3. It is broad in its coverage.

   a (major aspects): b (focused):

4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.

   Fair representation without bias:

5. It is stable.

   No edit wars, etc.:

6. It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.

   a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):

7. Overall:

   Pass/Fail:

I'm placing this on hold for one week, so that comments may be addressed and a thorough copyedit may take place. –Chase (talk) 03:34, 28 March 2010 (UTC)

All issues have been addressed – congrats on another Michael Jackson GA. –Chase (talk) 00:57, 29 March 2010 (UTC)

Comments

• a concert film documenting Jackson's rehearsals for his "This Is It" concert series. "This Is It" does not need to be in quotation marks.

 Done Crystal Clear x3 [talk] 12:37, 28 March 2010 (UTC)

• This Is It is the sixth posthumous album to be released by Sony and Motown/Universal since Jackson's death in June, the previous five albums being: The Collection, Hello World: The Motown Solo Collection, Michael Jackson: The Stripped Mixes, The Definitive Collection and The Remix Suite. Drop "posthumous", this is rather obvious from "Jackson's death" later in the sentence. Remove the colon after "being". Add "2009" after "June".

 Done Crystal Clear x3 [talk] 12:38, 28 March 2010 (UTC)

• some critics praising the album's tracks Change "praising" to "praised".

 Done Crystal Clear x3 [talk] 12:47, 28 March 2010 (UTC)

• including the United States Billboard 200 "the United States Billboard 200" is not a country from what I know of; drop "Billboard 200".

 Done Crystal Clear x3 [talk] 12:47, 28 March 2010 (UTC)

• Aside from the albums charting at number eleven in Finland, the album peaked within the Top 10 in other nations. Rephrase the first part of this sentence to "Aside from the album's #11 peak in Finland"; top 10 does not need to be capitalized.

 Done Crystal Clear x3 [talk] 12:53, 28 March 2010 (UTC)

• This Is It's sales has been certified Gold, Platinum, and 2x Platinum Change "2x Platinum" to "twice-Platinum".

 Done Crystal Clear x3 [talk] 12:37, 28 March 2010 (UTC)

• (it would later be determined that Jackson died of "acute propofol intoxication" with the additional factor of "benzodiazepine effect."). Remove the period in the quote. Wikilinks to propofol and benzodiazepine would be helpful.

 Done Crystal Clear x3 [talk] 12:37, 28 March 2010 (UTC)

• On September 23, 2009, Sony Music Entertainment announced that they were planning on releasing a two-disc complication 'soundtrack' of Jackson's concert documentary film "soundtrack" should be surrounded by double quotes.

 Done Crystal Clear x3 [talk] 12:37, 28 March 2010 (UTC)

• This Is It is the sixth posthumous album to be released by Sony and Motown/Universal since Jackson's death in June, the previous five albums being: see previous comment on the similarly-worded sentence above.

 Done Crystal Clear x3 [talk] 12:53, 28 March 2010 (UTC)

• in order of the same sequence drop "same".

 Done Crystal Clear x3 [talk] 12:37, 28 March 2010 (UTC)

• how they appeared in Jackson's This Is It concert film. "This Is It" should be italicized.

 Done Crystal Clear x3 [talk] 12:47, 28 March 2010 (UTC)

• "This Is It"s release Change to "This Is It"'s release.

 Done Crystal Clear x3 [talk] 12:53, 28 March 2010 (UTC)

• which was written by Jackson and Paul Anka in 1983, the song had originally been planned as a duet between the two for Anka's Walk the LIne album. A semicolon should be used after "1983"; also change "LIne" to "Line".

 Done Crystal Clear x3 [talk] 12:37, 28 March 2010 (UTC)

• After Jackson's death, his brothers found a demo of Jackson's version of the song, semicolon at the end of this too.

 Done Crystal Clear x3 [talk] 12:47, 28 March 2010 (UTC)

• and an orchestra version, that is over one minute longer. remove the comma.

 Done Crystal Clear x3 [talk] 12:37, 28 March 2010 (UTC)

• The discs fourth track change to "The disc's fourth track".

 Done Crystal Clear x3 [talk] 12:37, 28 March 2010 (UTC)

The grammatical issues above extend only from the lead to the end of the Music section, so could you please get an independent copyeditor to look over this? As for other issues:

• Article title is Michael Jackson's This Is It: The Music That Inspired the Movie, first sentence refers to the album as Michael Jackson's This Is It, infobox title and all subsequent uses are This Is It. Please decide on which one to use, and change the title appropriately if needed.

 Fixed Crystal Clear x3 [talk] 12:53, 28 March 2010 (UTC)

• Despite a majority of the albums tracks being available for purchase individually, both versions of "This Is It" can only be purchased with the entire. Pertains only to the digital release and is unsourced; remove.

 Done Crystal Clear x3 [talk] 12:37, 28 March 2010 (UTC)

• Similar to "This Is It", the four tracks can not be purchased individually, but can instead be digitally downloaded as an album EP under the title, "Selections from Michael Jackson's This Is it". Again, pertains only to the digital release.

Removed the info. Crystal Clear x3 [talk] 13:00, 28 March 2010 (UTC)

• debuted at number one in eleven countries. The sixteen countries include ???

Fixed. Crystal Clear x3 [talk] 13:00, 28 March 2010 (UTC)

• Worldwide, the album has sold an estimated 3 million units. source?

Removed the info. Crystal Clear x3 [talk] 12:37, 28 March 2010 (UTC)

• Admission, scandal, superficial and legacy need to be unlinked. Wikipedia is not a dictionary.

 Done Crystal Clear x3 [talk] 12:37, 28 March 2010 (UTC)

• In the tracklist sections, the [A], [B], etc. footnotes appear inside the quotes which look awkward and cannot be fixed as the tracklist template does this automatically. Make use of the note# field.

I've removed all of the letter notes. Crystal Clear x3 [talk] 13:03, 28 March 2010 (UTC)

• The level-3 "End of Year Charts" header should be retitled "End of year charts".

 Done Crystal Clear x3 [talk] 12:47, 28 March 2010 (UTC)

• Ref 9: original first, what it should be changed to second, code for correct cite third:

• Anthony McCartney (2009-10-13). "Anka Gets Credit for Co-Writing Jackson Single [Page 1]". ABC News. The Walt Disney Company. Retrieved 2010-01-15.
• McCartney, Anthony (13 October 2009). "Anka Gets Credit for Co-Writing Jackson Single". ABC News. ABC News Internet Ventures. p. 1. Retrieved 13 October 2009.
• <ref>{{cite news|url=http://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/wireStory?id=8814230|title=Anka Gets Credit for Co-Writing Jackson Single |last=McCartney|first=Anthony|date=13 October 2009|work=[[ABC News]]|publisher=ABC News Internet Ventures|pages=1|accessdate=13 October 2009}}</ref>

 Done Crystal Clear x3 [talk] 13:00, 28 March 2010 (UTC)

–Chase (talk) 03:34, 28 March 2010 (UTC)

• Comment I've given the article a copyedit as suggested by the reviewer and requested by Crystal Clear x3. Regards, Pyrrhus16 13:51, 28 March 2010 (UTC)

Looks good, but there's still some more issues remaining.

• Reference comment, despite the comment from the nominator, was not addressed, and needs to be because the "[Page 1 in the linked title breaks the ref.

I think I've fixed the ref now. Crystal Clear x3 [talk] 00:10, 29 March 2010 (UTC)

• In the critical reception section, introductions such as "Simon Vozick-Levinson, of Entertainment Weekly," should be changed to read "Simon Vozick-Levinson of Entertainment Weekly".

 Done Crystal Clear x3 [talk] 00:10, 29 March 2010 (UTC)

• Admission and superficial are still overlinked in critical reception.

 Fixed Crystal Clear x3 [talk] 00:13, 29 March 2010 (UTC)

• With the exception of "its", any time something such as "album" is possessive, there needs to be an apostrophe (') between the word and the letter s. There are numerous instances of this.

I think I've fixed this problem now. Crystal Clear x3 [talk] 00:22, 29 March 2010 (UTC)

All in critical response:

• Vozick-Levinson described the albums track
• while the albums second disc
• and that the albums tracks –Chase (talk) 00:37, 29 March 2010 (UTC)

 Done Crystal Clear x3 [talk] 00:46, 29 March 2010 (UTC)

• In background, "The album was made available for pre-order on Amazon.com - as a compact disc and as a digital download on iTunes.com." should be changed to, "The album was made available for pre-order – on Amazon.com as a compact disc and on the iTunes Store as a digital download." Must have looked over this first time through.

 Done Crystal Clear x3 [talk] 00:10, 29 March 2010 (UTC)

I think that's about it! Fix these and I'll be glad to promote this to GA. –Chase (talk) 19:40, 28 March 2010 (UTC)