Talk:New Glow/GA1
Latest comment: 2 years ago by Sebbirrrr in topic GA Review
GA Review
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Reviewer: Sebbirrrr (talk · contribs) 19:16, 1 June 2022 (UTC)
Hi there. I'll be reviewing this article as part of the current backlog drive.
Infobox
edit- Add alt text for the cover
- The producers should be listed alphabetically by their last names
Lead
edit- Add Lightning's release year in brackets
- "and producer of the duo's self-titled debut Lars Stalfors." → "and Lars Stalfors, who produced the duo's self-titled debut (2006)."
- "contains a higher amount of cues from mainstream styles than previous releases" → "contains more cues from mainstream styles than their previous releases"
- "Schifino's and Johnson's" → "Johnson and Schifino's"
- "it made the top 40 of the" → "it reached the top 40 on the"
- Both Billboard and 200 should be linked to Billboard 200
- "top-five of the" → "top five on the"
- De-link Top Rock Albums
- Did so, but why? The link goes to the specific part of the article about the chart. 👨x🐱 (Nina CortexxCoco Bandicoot) 01:21, 4 June 2022 (UTC)
- It's a redirect page, so linking it would seem useless. Sebbirrrr (talk) 19:59, 6 June 2022 (UTC)
- Did so, but why? The link goes to the specific part of the article about the chart. 👨x🐱 (Nina CortexxCoco Bandicoot) 01:21, 4 June 2022 (UTC)
- "chart" → "charts"
- "Critical reviews were mixed. Although certain journalists enjoyed" → "Critical reviews were mixed, although certain reviewers enjoyed"
- That's actually the start of the next sentence. The reason that short sentence is there is for variety in sentence length. 👨x🐱 (Nina CortexxCoco Bandicoot)
- "fun party album" none of the reviewers referred to it as a party album though
- Removed party. The reason I put it there (I think) is because the UTR rev referred to the experience as "land[ing] right back in the party" no matter what track you are on.
- "drying-out of a formula of brainless lyrics and sing-a-long choruses" → this sounds like WP:OR, I recommend re-writing or removing that bit
- See what I wrote about the "Reception" section 👨x🐱 (Nina CortexxCoco Bandicoot) 04:27, 6 June 2022 (UTC)
Background and compossition
edit- "Background and compossition" → "Background and composition"
- "not intending" → did you mean "intending"?
- Nope, the not is intentional. Otherwise that part of the sentence would be fluff. The following Matt Johnson quote further supports this. 👨x🐱 (Nina CortexxCoco Bandicoot) 01:09, 4 June 2022 (UTC)
- "Explained Johnson" → "Johnson explained in an interview with The Aquarian Weekly"
- "they successfully done" → "they successfully did"
- Successfully fixed. 👨x🐱 (Nina CortexxCoco Bandicoot) 01:13, 4 June 2022 (UTC)
- "punk-influenced works.[a]" → the note has no text, what's its purpose?
- Bundle cite. Four's the limit before you have to make it a note to make the prose readable. 👨x🐱 (Nina CortexxCoco Bandicoot) 01:07, 4 June 2022 (UTC)
- The refs in the note should be arranged in increasing order
- No need for the "for example"
- How, especially since no other songs are being discussed in the paragraph?
- If you're referring to one particular track, it's weird giving it as an example. Sebbirrrr (talk) 19:59, 6 June 2022 (UTC)
- How, especially since no other songs are being discussed in the paragraph?
- "until the morning starts.[8][1]" → refs should be in increasing order
- Fixed 👨x🐱 (Nina CortexxCoco Bandicoot) 22:31, 5 June 2022 (UTC)
Release and promotion
edit- "a tour supporting" → "a supporting tour"
- "depicts the hoodie-wearing Johnson and Schifino skateboarding" → "depicts the duo wearing hoodies and skateboarding"
- "including a restaurant filmed for" → "including in front of a restaurant from"
- "Schifino and Johnson" → "Johnson and Schifino"
- Link lip sync
- "and fans shot themselves" → "and fans recorded themselves"
- Link iPad
- "playing the headshot footage near their heads" → "playing the footage near their faces"
Reception
edit- Refs 25 and 26 should be linked to their respective chart pages
- Man, Billboard has sure changed its website layout for the better, haven't they? Anyway, fixed 👨x🐱 (Nina CortexxCoco Bandicoot) 03:04, 6 June 2022 (UTC)
- Yeah they did for worse unfortunately. Sebbirrrr (talk) 19:59, 6 June 2022 (UTC)
- Man, Billboard has sure changed its website layout for the better, haven't they? Anyway, fixed 👨x🐱 (Nina CortexxCoco Bandicoot) 03:04, 6 June 2022 (UTC)
- "However, the album's upon-release critical reviews were mixed" → "Upon release, however, the album received mixed reviews"
- "Jon Dolan, a critic for" → "Jon Dolan, writing for"
- Where does Jon Dolan mention tiring or repeat listens?
- "But unless you're the kind of person who throws your hands in the air to a salvo like, "We're riding bikes through red lights/We're bulletproof," the cuteness starts to wear thin pretty fast." 👨x🐱 (Nina CortexxCoco Bandicoot) 01:04, 4 June 2022 (UTC)
- Where does Hays Davis call the album a fun record?
- He doesn't specifically use that word, but he explains in longer sentence that's what he thinks.
- At the beginning, "Matt and Kim’s live shows are riotous, high-flying (literally, in Kim’s case) celebrations of pure joy, and whether or not their albums quite match the levels of that buzz, they’re exactly the right soundtrack for that experience."
- At the end, "Otherwise, however, you can drop the needle pretty much anywhere else on the record and land right back in the party."
- He doesn't specifically use that word, but he explains in longer sentence that's what he thinks.
- "prior Matt & Kim albums" → "Matt & Kim's previous albums"
- Fixed
- "past releases reviewers considered" → "past releases, which reviewers considered"
- "crazy energy and spirit" → WP:OR
- Removed crazy 👨x🐱 (Nina CortexxCoco Bandicoot) 01:04, 4 June 2022 (UTC)
- "[4][17][7]" → should be in increasing order
- "a formula of brainless lyrics, sing-a-long choruses and simplicity, to the point where it lost its luster and made the material sound lazy" → this sounds like WP:OR since none of the sources at the end mention any of this
- They do. Again, paraphrasing. Same message with different terminology. Plus, the quotes in the following sentences (which are from the same citations), support this. Additionally
- COS: "While this blissful resistance to sophistication has always been present in Matt and Kim’s work in the past, on New Glow, they seem to have regressed even further from twee hallmarks like “Daylight” or “Let’s Go”."
- AV Club: "The record, clocking in at less than 28 minutes, feels like it was written in 10. Nobody would ever confuse Matt And Kim's straightforward riffs with Beethoven, but they’ve been diminished to near-amateur quality, as if composed by a bored Best Buy customer wandering through the keyboards aisle. [...] Enthusiasm can make up for a lot of shortcomings in this kind of by-the-numbers mod-pop—and the duo is never wanting for spirited execution—but, on New Glow, they’ve either finally dumbed things down too much, or simply reached the end of where this rudimentary songwriting can take them."
- Pitchfork: "From "Get It", a dance track that’s all drop and no sentiment, to "Hoodie On", a thin sartorial pride anthem for the Urban Outfitters set, every song here serves as evidence to the contrary. Even on the selfie-culture critique "World Is Ending", a rare attempt at profundity from a group that doesn’t often concern itself with deep thoughts, the lyrics feel about as considered as a homework assignment scribbled in the minutes before class."
- "brainless" and "lazy" sound more like WP:UNDUE and they're not words you'd exactly find in a good article. I recommend replacing "brainless lyrics" with "lyrics that are not thought out well" and "lazy" with "uneventful". Sebbirrrr (talk) 19:59, 6 June 2022 (UTC)
- Rewritten. I was using "lazy" as synonymous with "amateur" and sounding like it was written in a few minutes. 👨x🐱 (Nina CortexxCoco Bandicoot) 20:22, 6 June 2022 (UTC)
- They do. Again, paraphrasing. Same message with different terminology. Plus, the quotes in the following sentences (which are from the same citations), support this. Additionally
- "However, the sound and style were not without positive comments" → "Although, the sound and style were given positive comments"
- "Mincher felt New Glow" yet you linked Davis' review at the end
Track listing
edit- Why are there no songwriters or producers listed here? They are essential for every album page
Credits and personnel
edit- "Adapted from liner notes." → "Credits adapted from the liner notes of New Glow."
- "All tracks except "Get It" mixed and engineered" → "All tracks except "Get It" were mixed and engineered"
- Pretty sure that would be awkward since this is a list of credits, but done nonetheless 👨x🐱 (Nina CortexxCoco Bandicoot) 22:32, 5 June 2022 (UTC)
- "'Get It' recorded and mixed by Andrew Dawson" → "'Get It' mixed by Andrew Dawson and recorded" and link Andrew Dawson
Charts
edit- Everything is fine here
Notes
edit- See background and composition
References
edit- Copyvio score at 36.7% but it's from AnyDecentMusic
- All sources come from reliable publications (checked them over at WP:RSP)
- For ref 2, type in The Aquarian Weekly instead and link it
- In ref 3, the author's name is James with one s
- Good catch! 👨x🐱 (Nina CortexxCoco Bandicoot) 22:34, 5 June 2022 (UTC)
- No need for SpinMedia in ref 6
- No need for Now Communications in ref 7
- No need for The Onion in ref 8
- Fix MOS:QWQ on ref 9
- Wasn't aware this was a MOS, but I'm glad I learned about it! Thanks!
- Fix archive link in ref 14
- No need for Wenner Media in ref 20
- Fix refs 25 and 26 per reception
Outcome
edit
On hold for 7 days until all issues are fixed! Sebbirrrr (talk) 21:02, 1 June 2022 (UTC)
- @HumanxAnthro: I've seen that you edited the article. I've replied to some of your comments. Sebbirrrr (talk) 19:59, 6 June 2022 (UTC)
- @HumanxAnthro: everything is fine now so I'm
passing! Sebbirrrr (talk) 22:33, 6 June 2022 (UTC)
- @HumanxAnthro: everything is fine now so I'm
- @HumanxAnthro: I've seen that you edited the article. I've replied to some of your comments. Sebbirrrr (talk) 19:59, 6 June 2022 (UTC)
