Talk:Al-Mansur Abu Bakr

Comments

Untitled

Why should it be deleted ? We aiming to make articles for all Mamluk Sultans. Please we need some opinions because I do not understand. Thank you. Samsam22 (talk) 02:13, 19 February 2008 (UTC)

I greatly recommend the proposed deletion for this article be reconsidered. This is an article about an important person, being a Sultan of Egypt was not a small thing. Of course more information must be gathered but you must allow for time so good information can be gathered. Isa Alcala (talk) 02:15, 19 February 2008 (UTC)

• yes as usual I start an article by making the heading and name then I add the information later. This is only the start. See all my articles please .. all start this way to fix the name of the sultan and link it eveywhere then the rest follows.Samsam22 (talk) 02:19, 19 February 2008 (UTC)

• Like the other articles pertaining to Mamluk sultans, this one also deserves a separate article. --Chapultepec (talk) 06:26, 19 February 2008 (UTC)

GA Review

This review is transcluded from Talk:Al-Mansur Abu Bakr/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Carbrera (talk · contribs) 01:02, 18 June 2016 (UTC)

Infobox

• Please remove the following unused infobox parameters, unless you can find information to put there that is verifiable and referenced:

• regent
• issue
• house–type
• residence

Lead

• Should the first 'a' in "al-Mansur Abu Bakr" be capitalized?
• "His father, Sultan an-Nasir Muhammad (r. 1310–41), groomed him as a potential successor to the throne and made him an emir in 1335." --> "His father, Sultan an-Nasir Muhammad (r. 1310–41), groomed him as a potential successor to the throne before making him an emir in 1335."
• "He was succeeded by his five year old half-brother, al-Ashraf Kujuk, but Qawsun was effectively the strongman of Egypt." --> "He was succeeded by his younger half-brother, al-Ashraf Kujuk, but Qawsun was effectively the strongman of Egypt."

Early life and career

Paragraph 1

• "Abu Bakr was born around 1321. His father was Sultan an-Nasir Muhammad (r. 1310–1341) and his mother was a concubine named Narjis.[1]" --> "Abu Bakr was born around 1321 to his Sultan father an-Nasir Muhammad (r. 1310–1341) and his concubine mother named Narjis.[1]"
• Rest is good :)

Paragraph 2

• ", led by Emir Qawsun," --> ", led by emir Qawsun,"
• "At around the same time, an-Nasir Muhammad arranged Abu Bakr's marriage to a daughter of Emir Tuquzdamur al-Hamawi, who married Narjis sometime earlier.[2]" (This statement needs to be reworded as I am confused over how Narijs used to be married to.)
• Provide a link to "dinar"s please

Paragraph 3

• Good!

Paragraph 4

• ", arriving on 24 January.[5]" --> ", arriving on the 24th.[5]" ...or... "once more in January 1341, arriving on 24 January.[5]" --> "once more in 1341, arriving on 24 January.[5]"
• Add "was" in between "The throne" and "peacefully passed to Abu Bakr when an-Nasir Muhammad died on 7 June.[6]" please

Reign

Paragraph 1

• Should "Sultan" be capitalized? It isn't in the lead...?

Paragraph 2

• Wait, I'm confused; according to the infobox, Al-Ashraf Kujuk is the new sultan??

Other notes

• Are there any photos available that could possibly be added to this article? I noticed that articles very similar to this bio have images.
• Add "Category:1321 births" to the list of categories below please

End of GA Review:

Not a bad article at all, I'm just a bit confused with some of how the "Reign" section is worded. Please contact me (@PING me) with any questions, comments, or concerns and I'll respond ASAP. Thanks, Carbrera (talk) 02:08, 18 June 2016 (UTC).

@Carbrera: Thanks for the detailed review. I've revised the article according to all your points except for the couple below:

As far as capitalization is concerned, the first "a" in "al-blank" is only capitalized when beginning a sentence or in a standalone situation such as in the infobox, per MoS-Arabic. As far capitalizing sultan and emir, this is only done when preceding the name of the person as in "Sultan an-Nasir Muhammad" or "Emir Qawsun". Otherwise, it would be lowercase, i.e. "An-Nasir Muhammad became sultan". It is the same with "president" or "prime minister".

As for the situation about Narjis, she was a concubine of an-Nasir Muhammad, but the latter later married her off to a senior Mamluk emir. Apparently, this was not a strange concept among the Mamluks and was done as a way to consolidate power relations in the sultanate. I will clarify this in the article shortly and update you when I do. Cheers! --Al Ameer (talk) 17:55, 18 June 2016 (UTC)

@Carbrera: I think I've now clarified the issue about Narjis' marriages in a footnote. Any other concerns? --Al Ameer (talk) 18:47, 20 June 2016 (UTC)

Nope! Thanks so much! Now passing! Carbrera (talk) 18:12, 21 June 2016 (UTC).