Talk:Straight pool/GA1
Latest comment: 2 years ago by 136.244.33.98 in topic GA Review
GA Review
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Reviewer: GhostRiver (talk · contribs) 13:48, 8 October 2021 (UTC)
I can take a look at this article later today! — GhostRiver 13:48, 8 October 2021 (UTC)
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Infobox and lede
editThe game is popular in the United States
This is inconsistent with the body of the article, which speaks to the decline in popularity in the US- Yeah, I have changed slightly. It's worth noting that straight pool is played worldwide, but like snooker being a UK game, straight pool is predominantly US based. It has recently been surpassed by nine-ball as the defacto game. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 10:47, 11 October 2021 (UTC)
History
edit- Good
Gameplay
edit- The following sentence is lifted directly from the source and needs to be reworded accordingly:
On the break, either a ball must be pocketed in a designated pocket, or the cue ball and at least two additional balls must touch a rail. The failure to accomplish either of these conditions results in a foul. Fouling on the initial break incurs a penalty loss of two points.
- Reworded Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 10:51, 11 October 2021 (UTC)
- The first sentence of the third paragraph should be moved to the end of the second paragraph, as then everything about fouls is in one para and the next is only about racks
- Moved Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 10:51, 11 October 2021 (UTC)
allowing a shot on the next ball and allowing the run to continue.
repetition of "allowing"- Reworded Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 10:51, 11 October 2021 (UTC)
What happens when (1) the cue ball remains within the rack after 14 balls have been pocketed? (2) When only the 15th ball remains - but it remains within the rack - yet the cue ball is outside the rack? (3) when both the cue ball and the 15th ball remain within the rack after 14 balls were pocketed? — Preceding unsigned comment added by 136.244.33.98 (talk) 22:11, 19 October 2021 (UTC)
Highest runs
editBruney scored the first three points before Mosconi ran the next 200 points but continued for over two hours to 526 before missing a fine cut shot.
Confusing/awkward phrasing- Reworded Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 10:58, 11 October 2021 (UTC)
- "Monterey, California. It was the result" → "Monterey, California, as the result"
- I've reworded slightly Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 10:58, 11 October 2021 (UTC)
- Last sentence has some awkward phrasing; currently it reads as if the setting up of break shots and the unreleased video, which I believe are to be seen as two separate critiques, are really one larger criticism. It could also serve to add a clarification before these specific criticisms to say that Schmidt's record is controversial.
- Reworded Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 10:58, 11 October 2021 (UTC)
Tournaments and governance
edit- The aspect of straight pool being "dead" should be expanded upon; "many" factors are suggested and then only two are listed
- Reworded. There are other reasons, but I haven't found many sources talking about them. There's no world straight pool championship anymore, but it is played at the US Open, and the European Pool championship. However, it used to be the main tournament when people played pool. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 11:01, 11 October 2021 (UTC)
Popular culture
edit- Cracked.com is not considered a reliable source; I'm sure plenty exists about straight pool and hustling
- I have a couple book sources that I'll check out when I get home on this. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 11:13, 11 October 2021 (UTC)
- Added a cite. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 20:29, 13 October 2021 (UTC)
- I have a couple book sources that I'll check out when I get home on this. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 11:13, 11 October 2021 (UTC)
- The Twilight Zone episode "A Game of Pool" is mentioned in the "see also" section but not mentioned here
- I've added to the prose. I can't say I know much about the Twilight Zone though. Amazing we have two separate articles on this. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 11:13, 11 October 2021 (UTC)
References
edit- A work or publisher is needed in [2]
- Reference [5] is incomplete and leads to a broken link
- [8] needs a work or publisher
- I believe "straight Pool" → "Straight Pool" in [20]
- All done. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 13:14, 11 October 2021 (UTC)
General comments
edit- All images are relevant and properly licensed
- As far as caption:
- Per MOS:CAPTION, the Keogh photo cap should end in a period
- Switch the sentences in the second photo caption
- Both done. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 13:14, 11 October 2021 (UTC)
- No stability concerns in the revision history
- Earwig score is generally good except for one sentence noted above.
Putting on hold for now. Feel free to ping me if there are any questions. — GhostRiver 19:58, 8 October 2021 (UTC)
- I have now covered the lot GhostRiver Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 20:28, 13 October 2021 (UTC)
- Looks good now, happy to pass! — GhostRiver 21:37, 13 October 2021 (UTC)