Talk:Tokyo Babylon/GA1
Latest comment: 3 years ago by TeenAngels1234 in topic GA Review
GA Review
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Reviewer: TeenAngels1234 (talk · contribs) 00:33, 20 November 2021 (UTC)
OK. Let's begin.
- Are you sure it's necessary to specify that "the plot begins with a monster of the week approach"? You may consider moving it to another section of the article, IMHO.
- Removed
- Can you quickly explain what an onmyōji is?
- Basically an old fashioned way to refer to exorcists who work for the government. Subaru is often onmyoji. Rephrased a bit.
- "and egging on their mutual friend Seishiro Sakurazuka, a kindly, 25-year-old veterinarian, when he declares his love for Subaru." So the girl is used to egging and it's a reinterred thing over time? Or is it something she only does once after the declaration of love? It's not very clear to me.
- Reworded. Seishiro claims to be in love with Subaru often until the ending.
- "A shadowy childhood moment may provide the answer". Pretty informal. I would delete this.
- Removed.
That's all for now. Good job.--TeenAngels1234 (talk) 00:33, 20 November 2021 (UTC) @TeenAngels1234: Thanks for the review.Tintor2 (talk) 00:53, 20 November 2021 (UTC)
@Tintor2: Perfect. Now:
- "but Clamp wanted to give it a more modern tone". What does this mean? And is this related with the initial title? Try to explain it better, cause it's not clear to me.
- They don't specify how it is more modern in that book
- "The pastry Roppongi Alrrond". What is this?
- Removed.
- Add a link for Cardcaptor Sakura.
- Added
- ".. with Zona Negativa stating that despite the series being a shōjo manga aimed at young women, Subaru's hero journey felt more like that of a manga aimed at young men, shōnen manga, due to the many types of enemies he faces while finding his foes' deep nature". I suggest to move this in Themes.
- Done
- "The character's relationship with Seishiro led novelist Yoshiki Tanaka to call it tragic and striking, despite his early thoughts it was a typical use of a relationship to appeal to female readers". Ditto.
- Done
- Regarding Subaru's darker characterization in the finale, ... as he saw Hokuto as another part of him". Idem.
- Done
- "Subaru and Seishirō return in Clamp's apocalyptic manga X. ... Seishiro as a vampire hunter pursuing him." Why not creating a section in Media (e.g. "Other medias") with this?
That's all.--TeenAngels1234 (talk) 13:37, 20 November 2021 (UTC)
- Done. Thanks for the review.
@TeenAngels1234:Tintor2 (talk) 13:58, 20 November 2021 (UTC)
GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria
- Is it well written?
- A. The prose is clear and concise, and the spelling and grammar are correct:
- B. It complies with the manual of style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation:
- A. The prose is clear and concise, and the spelling and grammar are correct:
- Is it verifiable with no original research?
- A. It contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline:
- B. All in-line citations are from reliable sources, including those for direct quotations, statistics, published opinion, counter-intuitive or controversial statements that are challenged or likely to be challenged, and contentious material relating to living persons—science-based articles should follow the scientific citation guidelines:
- C. It contains no original research:
- D. It contains no copyright violations nor plagiarism:
- A. It contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline:
- Is it broad in its coverage?
- A. It addresses the main aspects of the topic:
- B. It stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style):
- Is it neutral?
- It represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each:
- Is it stable?
- It does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute:
- It does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute:
- Is it illustrated, if possible, by images?
- A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content:
- B. Images are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions:
- A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content:
- Overall:
- Pass or Fail:
- Brief summa. Brief but concise. Relevant and necessary information is all present. Good prose.--TeenAngels1234 (talk) 18:40, 20 November 2021 (UTC)
- Pass or Fail: