Talk:Trylon Cinema/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: 23W (talk · contribs) 05:56, 28 May 2016 (UTC)

Initial comments

• I'm a fan of shorter articles, and this one is nicely presented. Props for mining your sources and including archival links in the references.
• No blatant copyright violations detected.

History

• Change "which was dedicated to continuing to show films not typically screened in larger movie houses" to "which was established to promote showing films not typically screened in larger movie houses" (for maximum accuracy, as I'll bet that Take-Up is still dedicated to that mission). Also, add a comma before which.
• Place an and before "then began to rent out theaters".
• Omit "for their screenings" (redundant).
• Is the "Alfred Hitchcock film festival" a proper noun? I'd recast the whole sentence somehow, e.g. "Some screenings, such as that Lawrence of Arabia and a series of Alfred Hitchcock films, drew hundreds of viewers".
• Connect "accordion/musical saw" another way (en dash?), as the use of the slash is ambiguous.

Programming and reception

• Find another noun for "features a variety of regular features", like maybe presentation or exhibition. Feature implies a single film while the examples given sound more like galleries.
• Number disagreement with "a local cinephiles".
• Are these artists refereed to in "aspects of artists' creative processes" filmmakers or across other disciplines?

On hold for a fortnight. 23W 05:56, 28 May 2016 (UTC)

Thank you so much for the review, 23W! I'm about to move and was going to hold off on this until after it was completed but your suggested fixes were relatively minor so I made all the recommended tweaks. Let me know if there's anything else you need from me. Thanks again! BobAmnertiopsis∴_ChatMe! 20:56, 28 May 2016 (UTC)

Whoops! I totally forgot to put the review on hold. Everything looks addressed; passing. Thanks for the prompt response. 23W 21:51, 28 May 2016 (UTC)