Talk:Bill Keating (politician)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Khazar2 (talk · contribs) 22:53, 8 July 2013 (UTC)

Hi Designate, I'll be glad to take this one. Sorry you've had to wait so long for a review. I'm hoping to complete initial comments on it tonight, but if not, they should be done in the next 1-3 days. Just as a heads-up, I plan to be mostly on wikibreak from July 12-19, so we may need to take a break mid-review. -- Khazar2 (talk) 22:53, 8 July 2013 (UTC)

Initial comments

This looks good overall and ripe for promotion. Thanks for your work to bring it to this point. I have a few quibbles, noted below, and made a few tweaks; let me know your thoughts:

• " he immediately replaced one-third of the office's staff, including two top officials." -- this may be worded too strongly, as the source suggests some may have left voluntarily.[1]
• "The move was widely regarded as" -- This also seems a bit strong. The sources say " There were accusations reported in the press" and "reports of a nasty overhaul in the office ", respectively. How about "Press reports criticized the move as ..."
• "was shot down by" -- mildly idiomatic, should probably be rewritten per WP:IDIOM
• "Keating sits on the House Homeland Security Committee as well as the Foreign Affairs Committee" -- this could use an "as of", as this is information that might change from year to year without being updated
• "promising to fight Don't Ask Don't Tell " -- it seems a little outdated to talk of this as an ongoing process.
• "National Right to Carry Reciprocity Act of 2011" -- it would help clarity to add a phrase explaining what this is -- Khazar2 (talk) 23:30, 8 July 2013 (UTC)

Hey, thanks for taking this up. I agree with your points so far. —Designate (talk) 23:24, 9 July 2013 (UTC)

All your fixes look good. Let me run the final checklist. -- Khazar2 (talk) 02:00, 10 July 2013 (UTC)

Checklist

Rate	Attribute	Review Comment
1. Well-written:
	1a. the prose is clear, concise, and understandable to an appropriately broad audience; spelling and grammar are correct.
	1b. it complies with the Manual of Style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation.
2. Verifiable with no original research:
	2a. it contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline.
	2b. reliable sources are cited inline. All content that could reasonably be challenged, except for plot summaries and that which summarizes cited content elsewhere in the article, must be cited no later than the end of the paragraph (or line if the content is not in prose).
	2c. it contains no original research.
3. Broad in its coverage:
	3a. it addresses the main aspects of the topic.
	3b. it stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style).
	4. Neutral: it represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each.
	5. Stable: it does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute.
6. Illustrated, if possible, by media such as images, video, or audio:
	6a. media are tagged with their copyright statuses, and valid non-free use rationales are provided for non-free content.
	6b. media are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions.
	7. Overall assessment.	Pass as GA