Talk:You Are the One (Argentine TV series)/GA3

GA Review

edit
GA toolbox
Reviewing

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Mediran (talk · contribs) 07:29, 31 December 2013 (UTC) I will review this. Thanks. Mediran (tc) 07:29, 31 December 2013 (UTC)Reply

Infobox
  • "Sos mi vida" should be italicized
  • Is the flag of Argentina necessary?
  • The title of a theme should not be italicized.
  • Please avoid WP:OVERLINKING of the names.
  • The "t" in "telenovela" should be in caps.
Others
  • The lead should be expanded. Really. You should add the production, the reception, the concept, etc. Everything that summarizes the topic.
  • "The plot is focused on the love story of a rich businessman and a poor female boxer." I think "The plot follows the love story of..." is better. Also, what is about the "rich businessman" and the "poor female boxer"? You should expanded this by adding some of their backgrounds. And also, where are their names? It should be mentioned here.
  • "Sos mi vida (Lit: You're my life / English: You Are the One) is a 2006 Argentine romantic comedy television series, directed by Rodolfo Antúnez and Jorge Bechara and broadcast by El Trece between January 16, 2006 and January 9, 2007." This should be "Sos mi vida (Lit: You're my life / English: You Are the One) is a 2006 Argentine romantic comedy television series created by Adrián Suar. Directed by Rodolfo Antúnez and Jorge Bechara, it stars Facundo Arana as Martín Quesada, a successful businessman who [please add here], and Natalia Oreiro as Esperanza Muñoz, a poor female boxer who [please add]. The program was broadcast on El Trece from January 16, 2006 to January 9, 2007."
  • "It was critically acclaimed," who acclaimed it?
  • The names and important figures here in the lead should be linked.
  • In the "Premise" section, please introduce what "Pol-ka" is to those who are not familiar with the topic. For instance, provided that it is linked, it is more helpful for the readers to continue reading the article rather than visiting another page to know what a "Pol-ka" is.
  • "The telenovela was produced by Pol-ka based on a premise by Adrián Suar, which he formulated nearly six months before the show's premiere, after discussion with his partner Javier Blanco y Tevah." This is a run-on sentence.
  • Should be "The telenovela features Facundo Arana and Natalia Oreiro, who had both appeared in a 1997 telenovela, Muñeca Brava, as the lead actors"
  • "Gilda", according to the link, is a film noir? I thought she is a singer.
  • "The story begins during a boxing match of Esperanza Muñoz—nicknamed "Monita"—who has sustained a hand injury." I think em dashes or "—nicknamed "Monita"—" is unnecessary. You could say Esperanza "Monita" Muñoz. Also, I though her nickname is "la monita". What happened to this?
  • The "Plot" section needs sources.
  • "Martín also meets three orphan siblings, José, Laura, and Coqui, who resisted being adopted by different families." You should provide when or where this happens. If it is in an orphanage, why did he go there? You could also use em dashes here like "orphan siblings—José, Laura, and Coqui—who resisted..." Also, I think "different" is not proper. I think it should be "other".
  • Like in the previous review, I think "Her manager, Enrique "Quique" Ferreti, is pressuring her to continue fighting despite her pain." should be "Her manager pressures her to continue fighting, despite her pain." Do not forget about commas.
  • "Nieves loves Esperanza like a daughter..." This should be "Nieves loves Esperanza like her own daughter."
  • What is "Quesada Group"?
  • "Martín Quesada, president of the company, sees Esperanza crying in the street and hires her as his personal assistant." should be "Martín Quesada, the president of the company, sees Esperanza crying in the street and hires her as his personal assistant."
  • "Her neighbor Kimberly suggests that Esperanza apply for a job in the Quesada Group, where she works as a janitor." This is awkward. This should be "Her neighbor, Kimberly, suggests Esperanza to apply for a job at the Quesada Group, where she works as a janitress."
  • "The program was directed by Daniel De Felippo and Rodolfo Antúnez and produced by César Markus González." You should have commas here and have "...was produced by..." there.
  • What about those readeres skipping sections, you should still link important things here.
  • The characters were lost in a jungle, now this should be mentioned in the plot.
  • "characters in the jungle was filmed..." replace "the" with "a".
  • "This was risky filming, and Arana and Oreiro did not use stunt doubles for it." should be "Despite of being risky to film, Arana and Oreiro did not use stunt doubles for the scene." or you can use others.
  • Again, please fix that "Gilda" link.
  • "The program's opening theme is Gilda's "Corazón Valiente" (Spanish: Braveheart), sung by Oreiro." → "The program's opening theme, which is Gilda's "Corazón Valiente" (Spanish: Braveheart), was performed by Oreiro."?
  • "She considered including it in her next music CD, but did not record anything afterwards" What's this?
  • I think the "Cast" section should not be in chart.
  • Please italicize everything that needs italication (eg newspapers in Critical reception)
  • What time is " 21:00"? Is it in UTC, PST, etc?
  • Why is " The last episode lasted for half an hour and was followed by the premiere of the new telenovela Son de Fierro; La Nación said that the final episode should have lasted a full hour.[24]" in the "Critical reception" section? I think this should be in the "Production".
  • These links are unavailable.
http://www.infobae.com/notas/nota.php?Idx=253328&idxSeccion=0
http://www.infobae.com/notas/nota.php?Idx=232324&IdxSeccion=100743

Hey. For now, I will fail this because there are too much issues. This will give you more time to work on the article. Thanks. Mediran (tc) 10:32, 4 January 2014 (UTC)Reply