The Nearly Complete and Utter History of Everything

The Nearly Complete and Utter History of Everything is a collection of television comedy sketches, produced in 1999, broadcast in two parts on 2 and 4 January 2000 on BBC One. Based on well-known historical events, it took its title and concept from the 1969 London Weekend Television series The Complete and Utter History of Britain.

The Nearly Complete and Utter History of Everything
Written by	Mark Burton Kim Fuller
Directed by	Dewi Humphreys
Starring	Clive Anderson Matthew Ashforde Patrick Barlow Ronnie Barker Helena Bonham Carter Robert Bathurst Adam Blackwood Brian Blessed Julia Sawalha
Narrated by	Angus Deayton
Music by	Philip Pope
Country of origin	United Kingdom
Original language	English
Production
Producers	Jon Plowman Patricia McGowan Ali Bryer Carron
Cinematography	Francis De Groote
Editor	Steve Punt
Running time	65 minutes
Original release
Network	British Broadcasting Corporation (BBC)
Release	2 January (2000-01-02) – 4 January 2000 (2000-01-04)

Cast

The Ages of Man

A version of the class sketch which had previously been broadcast as part of the BBC Millennium programme on 31 December 1999.

• Ronnie Barker – Renaissance Man
• Ronnie Corbett – Medieval Man
• Stephen Fry – Modern Man

1066

The Battle of Hastings staged and described in the style of a modern football match, a version of a sketch from The Complete and Utter History of Britain.

• Clive Anderson – Archbishop of Canterbury
• Ray Clemence – Ray Clemence the Younger
• George Cohen – Master George Cohen
• James Fleet – William of Normandy
• Archie Gemmill – Archie Gemmill, currently in exile
• David Gower – Lord Gower
• Ricky Grover – Aberforth
• Alan Hansen – Lord Alan Hansen
• Geoff Hurst – Sir Geoffrey of Hurst
• Gary Lineker – Lord Gary Lineker
• Rory McGrath – King Harold II
• Peter Osgood – Squire Peter Osgoode
• Martin Peters – Lord Martin Peters
• Steve Punt – French soldier
• Peter Shilton – Peter of Shilton
• Rupert Vansittart – Bishop of Cardiff

Geordie of the Antarctic

A parody of Scott of the Antarctic.

• Amanda Holden – Geordie's girlfriend
• Bob Mortimer – Geordie
• Vic Reeves – Captain Scott

The First Spin Doctor

• Martin Clunes – King Henry V
• Angus Deayton – Lord Mandelson
• Martin Trenaman

Treaty of Westphalia

• Patrick Barlow – Advisor
• Robert Bathurst – English Ambassador
• James Dreyfus – Swedish Ambassador
• Stephen Fry – Ambassador
• Hugh Laurie – French Ambassador

Marriage Guidance

• Brian Blessed – King Henry VIII
• Jack Dee – Marriage guidance counsellor
• Julia Sawalha – Catherine Parr

The Nice-But-Dim Family

• Adam Blackwood – Norman
• Richard Briers – Highway robbery victim
• Tim Brooke-Taylor – Earl of Sandwich
• Peter Davison – Duke of Wellington
• Harry Enfield – Tim Norse-But-Dim / Sir Timothy Nice-Butte D'imme / Sir Timothy the Lionbrain / Dim Turpin / Major-General Sir Timothy Nice-But-Dim / Midshipman Nice-But-Dim
• Jessica Stevenson – Woman with Black Death Victim
• Natasha Little – Lady Lionbrain
• Spike Milligan – Admiral Lord Nelson
• Nigel Planer – Lord Cardigan
• Steve Punt – Lord Tampax
• Barbara Windsor – Highway robbery victim

Philosophy of a Hairdresser

• Thora Hird – Ida
• Victoria Wood – Moira

Body Zone

• Joan Bakewell – Herself
• Dawn French – Egg
• Jennifer Saunders – Egg

A Victorian Evening

• James Fleet – Mr Parsons
• Geraldine McNulty – Mrs Richards
• Trevor Peacock – Colonel
• Caroline Quentin – Lady Butterworth

Explorers Explorers Explorers

• Robert Bathurst – Francis Drake
• Peter Davison – Ferdinand Magellan
• Angus Deayton – Sir Walter Raleigh

Holby Village Hospital

• Jack Dee – Dr Barber
• Gary Olsen – Mr Baker

Early British Comedy

• Matthew Ashforde – Reginald
• Helena Bonham Carter – Lily
• Neil Morrissey – Director
• Caroline Quentin – Marcia Bournemouth
• Richard Wilson – Monty DeLauncy

When Columbo discovered America

• Gareth Hale – Christopher Columbo
• Norman Pace – King Ferdinand

Looking Forwards

• Lenny Henry – Deakus
• Clive Mantle – Dr Mike Barrat

See also

• The Complete and Utter History of Britain

External links

• The Nearly Complete and Utter History of Everything at IMDb
• "The Nearly Complete And Utter History Of Everything", Memorable TV.