User:Abcquantumle/Water supply and sanitation in Tanzania/Nathan.brenn Peer Review

General info

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Whose work are you reviewing?

Abcquantumle

Link to draft you're reviewing
User:Abcquantumle/Water supply and sanitation in Tanzania
Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
Water supply and sanitation in Tanzania

Evaluate the drafted changes

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The additions to this article have great content. Although, I think certain parts could be reorganized for clarity. In your first addition, I would maybe transition into talking about the lack of funding by saying "Since then" instead of "However" to reference the 70s, when donor support was present. For the next section, my only suggestion is to break up the second sentence "Villagization sought to bring..." because reads like a run-on sentence as of now. The points you are trying to make will shine through better if you rework this a bit. In the last section, the last two sentences need some attention. The sentence "As three historical..." feels a bit wordy and what you intend to say gets lost. Consider rewording or restructuring this sentence to make it more concise. The last phrase feels like it should be connected to the previous sentence because it seems you are trying to convey that as certain historical processes begin, there is an institutionalization of power to create said opportunities for change. I may be misinterpreting but either way, I think it will be worth it to revisit this section.

I enjoyed learning a bit about your topic and wish you the best on your edits!