User:Giggy/Passing RfA for fun and profit!

OK, so I would add {{humor}}, but there is some serious element to this page. Or so I’m told. Anyways…I now present…passing RfA for fun and profit. dihydrogen monoxide (H₂0) 08:40, 25 February 2008 (UTC)

Step 1: The account

This user wants to become a
Rouge admin one day.

First of all, don’t go through RfA with your account. You should only use your account to give your actual opinion, which will inevitably piss people off and cause them to oppose. Create a sockpuppet. Give it a cool username, or, if you aren’t cool, use a real name. But not yours. And not Jimbo’s…people catch on to that usually.

Step 2: The first months

You want it? It'll take time to earn it.

Your major goal in the first few months with this new account is to convince people that it’s actually a new account. RfA participants are told to carefully evaluate Special:Contributions/USERNAME, and they do just that – generally starting with the candidate’s earliest edits (and generally stopping with the same edits). If something suspicious comes up in your first 50, you’re bound to get checkusered…you’ve been warned.

Behaviours to avoid in the first few months

• Creating redirects, templates, categories, or editing most of the namespaces.
• Having a plain, colourless signature.
• Focusing on articles once you’ve discovered the leniency given to userspace at MfD.
• Not making yourself known (for the wrong reasons, if necessary).

Things to do in the first few months

• Make sure your first edit is a typo fix, or something else really trivial that takes place on a notable article. Having your first edit deleted is more suspicious than making your username Wimbo Jales.
• Get a really distracting signature that overuses the <big> tag. When asked to change it, claim ignorance of HTML, CSS, Wikicode, and the inner workings of the Jedi Council, then add another <big> tag to your sig when nobody’s looking.
• Participate at RfA. Lots of RfAs. Support all unanimous RfAs, oppose all RfAs that have other opposition (using the trust “per above”), and go neutral if somebody else has (“both sides make good points” = “look, I exist. Yes, me! MEE!!!!!”)
• Create a clearly non notable article, get it AfD’d (you can use your actual account for this), then start being a really big jerk about the noobs who want to delete your notable article about your band/dog/mum/dad/penis/ninja. As soon as the issue of your civility and dickishness is raised at AN/ANI/WQA/RFC (try not to take it that far!), apologise, declare that you’re new and aren’t aware of how things work, and promise never to do it again. Find the first admin to comment on said AN/ANI/WQA/RFC discussion and beg them to adopt you.
• Submit a premature RfA, and act really mature in taking criticism (despite being really immature elsewhere)

Now that you’re adopted

Our plans are beginning to take shape!

Pester the admin weekly to;

1. Comment on the colours in your sig
2. Edit the article you found on Special:Random but knew nothing about
3. Block the vandal you reported to AIV with a redlink talkpage
4. Explain how you can get adminship without going through RfA

Ease up on this as time progresses, so it looks like you’re maturing. By the time you’re into your third month, start being “mature”.

Step 3: The month of truth

The only policy you should abide properly during this month is WP:CIVIL. So please, keep your fingers down.

Your third month is crucial to your success. This is the time when you discover admin stuffs, so dive straight in. Comment on as many AfDs, RfDs, MfDs, CfDs, UCfDs, TfDs, and :OfDs as possible. Then nominate as many as you can find. Start newpage patrolling, and vandal fighting.

Go to AN and ANI, and comment on as much as possible. Make sure you comment especially when you have no idea what’s going on; it gives people a chance to talk to you, thus raising their awareness of your existence.

Tone your signature down just a little. Don’t ever revert back to the original sig…always have a lame customisation.

About halfway through this month, start commenting at WT:RFA, and get hold of an admin coach. Try and get a coach who has another “coachee” at the time, but who has seen you around a fair bit (not your adopter, though, as they might actually know your weaknesses!), chances are they’ll take you just so they can say they could.

Another good thing to do in this month, according to Enigmaman [1], is to nominate a user for adminship. Or just find an RfA that's currently running. Ask the candidate eight difficult questions, discussing BLP, Wheel Warring, the weather in London, and everything in between. After five minutes, add a strong oppose to the effect that your questions were ignored. Go on a Wikibreak for a week.

Step 4: Use and abuse your coach

Muahahaha

Pester your coach to copyedit your articles, look at your AfDs, and in general be the proxy through which you run all your edits. Make sure you get an article to GA status. In fact, make sure your coach does that on your behalf.

After about 4 months are up, start hinting to your coach that you’re feeling ready to take the plunge (no, not that plunge). They will tell you it’s too early. Tell them you wholeheartedly agree, and were getting ahead of yourself.

Repeat in exactly 7 days. In the meantime, get a portal, list, sound, or image to featured status. It’s really that easy! Stay away from articles, topics, or anything that requires skill/ability/effort.

Step 5: The RfA

Eventually, they’ll give in, at which point you’re on your way to RfA.

During the RfA, be sure to respond with bad jokes and “:P” to as many support comments as possible. Include some of the above in your answers to questions as well.

If your coach has IRC/any other IM software, ensure they read all the answers to questions and opposes before you add them. Tell them you’re nervous under pressure. They’ll never realise part of adminship is dealing with pressure…especially if they’re an admin.

Try and convince as many people you’ve interacted with previously (and there should be tons!) to run a day or two after your RfA starts. Try and get a previous admin or someone else controversial in there for good measure, and epic lulz.

Much of the advice on dealing with opposition at User:Yomangan/A bastard's guide to writing a featured article is very very relevant to dealing with opposition in your RfA. Just don’t get caught. If you’re caught, blame your roommate/mum/dad/dog/band/penis/ninja.

Step 6: Success!

This user is a
Rouge admin.

Find the most disruptive and annoying RfA thanks card you can, by looking through the archive of someone who specifically archives these things (I think Lar does here, others may too). Copy and paste the design, and wrap it with <big>. Put a semi-personal message in there. Include {{BASEPAGENAME}}. In fact, break the coding so people see you’ve used that.

Once you’ve pissed off all 100+ supporters (get attention properly, without actually saying anything, as I’ve instructed you, and you will reach WP:100), go to step 7.

Alternative step 6: Failure!

You suck. Return to step 1. This time, be more noobish at the start, “mature” more over time, and say even less controversial or honest things in the process.

Step 7: Now that you’re an admin…

Rawr!

You have several choices;

1. Delete the Main Page/Block Jimbo

   Advantages: Go out with a bang, can be blamed on others

   Disadvantages: It’s…just…tacky

2. Start a POV pushing campaign

   Advantages: Nobody (nobody unblocked, anyway) suspects an admin!

   Disadvantages: Some admins actually try and out fellow admin POV pushers :(

3. Use the tools properly

   Advantages: You get to keep them

   Disadvantages: What’s the point? You went to the trouble of STFUing for four months, you may as well do something cool

4. Become one of those guys who doesn’t edit but hangs around on IRC all day lecturing non-admins

   Advantages: This says it all

   Disadvantages: Hmm…I can’t think of any. Plus you get WP:WEA access this way…heck, this seems like the best solution!!!

Wait a minute…this was meant to be satirical, yet somehow, I can’t help note an element of truth…maybe it’s just me…

Step 8: The inevitable CheckUser is run on your account

RUN!

Blame your mum/dad/band/penis/dog/ninja. While they’re debating at AN, ANI, WT:RFA, RFAR, RFC, RFCU, RCMP, User talk:Jimbo Wales, and IRC over the merits of your argument, delete your userpage, talk page, and as many other high traffic pages as possible. Delete the Main Page and block Jimbo if you have time…alternatively, blocking people who actually do useful stuff is a great way to be gangsta without actually getting noticed (I mean, who needs those guys?)
While the server lag takes place, replace Russia with some form of Russian reversal, then leave

Return to step 1 after a week or two.