Oneoverzero

I Think I Know You From Somewhere

Have we met met before? I think I go to school with you...and share two classes with you...and am friends with you...and share your same music preferences. If you don't get this message tonight, I'll tell you tomorrow. And make a userpage! You can just say two random lines like, "Mosquitos on the Cheese" or whatever. Now, if you'll excuse me, I must go into the woods to set a potted plant free. --Jeremie@theLab 02:45, 1 September 2006 (UTC)

I think you took that talk page suggestion literally...By the way, on Tuesday in Physics, I'm bringing my USB cable. You will give me your Tetris pack for the Graphing Calculator. Now...I have to do homework. ---- Jeremie@theLab 

I hearby give Jeremie@thelab permission to edit my user page.

Thanks! That was prompt. I'll have your Nietzscheist userbox up momentarily. --Jeremie@theLab 01:28, 7 September 2006 (UTC)

All right, those are the two userboxes I know you wanted. Let me get you a Babel and fill it with the languages I know you speak. You can add more later, or ask me how to do it. --Jeremie@theLab 01:30, 7 September 2006 (UTC)

There, that takes care of your Babel. I think i know what to do next. ---- Jeremie@theLab 

Okay, that's all I can think of tonight. Tell me what you think of this in Physics tomorrow. If you want more stuff, tell me, and if you want to delete stuff, do so! ---- Jeremie@theLab 

I hearby revoke said permission. (not that he did anything wrong, I had just forgotten to revoke it)

^one/_zero 17:50, 23 July 2007 (UTC)

Your Requested Clips

Here's those clips from YouTube that you expressed interest in seeing today in the hallway.

• Playing Tetris with the MIT Building
• Tetris Man!!

Enjoy! --Jeremie@theLab 19:52, 8 September 2006 (UTC)

CD Burning

You'll probably get this five days after the fact, but...

BURN THAT GREEN DAY CD FOR MY ENGLISH PRESENTATION TOMORROW OR SUFFER MY WRATH!

Have a nice day...

--Jeremie@theLab 21:13, 3 October 2006 (UTC)

I just sent the email to the teacher with my lyrics enclosed...THAT CD HAD BETTER BE BURNED! --68.71.170.247 00:22, 4 October 2006 (UTC)

Hello

hi.... i'm Emily... kevin told me to talk to you... i actually have noidea who you are... but you seem pretty cool... so hi. good day!

Minerva 7 21:40, 19 October 2006 (UTC)Minerva 7

Re: le meritocracy

As funny and random as that cartoon is, its points collapse under scrutinization. I can understand why you are of the Michael Young school of thought on meritocracy, but let's go through the reasons why it is better than the spoils system we have in America today.

1. Locke's Second Treatise on Government states that property should be acquired, but morally via hard labour and not idleness and favortism. This doctrine actually helps encourage representative republicansim and federalism in lieu of kings, tyranny, cronies and and lackeys.

1. Although Social Darwinsim did advocate extreme meritocracy for purposes of authoritarian states and imperialist powers, such "Darwinism" has nothing to do with Darwin and has declined in popularity to moot point.

1. I have numerous philosphers, leaders, military commanders and other famous historical figures on my side in support of meritocracy. Suffer the wrath of:

Confucius

Voltaire

H.G. Creel

John Locke

Han Feizi

Shang Yang

Genghis Khan

William Pitt

Napoleon

Thomas Jefferson

1. Have my historical allies defeated you yet? No? Then prepare for your argument to be battered by actual working meritocracies that function today

Singapore

Great Britain

1. Everytime meritocracy was attempted, it produced results. The armies of ancient Qin, Napoleonic France and the Ghenghis Khan Empire had an edge over their opposition in war because generals were based on their skill, not their position in society. Hence, we got the Chin Dynasty, the Continental System and the Khan Empire.

1. If William Pitt had not put talented officers in places over old generals, the French and Indian War would not have been a success.

Now, let us observe what happens when we don't have implemented meritocracy.

1. Jacksonian Democracy: Under Andrew Jackson, the Spoils System and rotation of government workers removed experienced ones to be replaced with novices, gumming up the works. Spoils System also formed the basis of lobbyists.

1. Puritan Commonwealth: The most prominent colonists got government jobs. Where does this leave the farmers other than the field? This was a prototype democracy.

Your cartoon makes good points, but Locke demolishes them. Sorry friend, but meritocracy is clearly the way to go based on philosophical and historical example. -- Jeremie@theLab

Basque Portal?

Kaixo, I'm contacting you because you figure in Category:User eu, meaning that you speak some Basque. You must therefore be Basque yourself or have an intense connection with the Basque Country.

I am thinking that maybe was a good idea to create a Portal (or maybe a Wikiproject? or both?) on the Basque theme but I feel such kind of project requires more than just one person.

If you are interested, please comment in my talk page.

Enjoy, --Sugaar 10:34, 4 November 2006 (UTC)

Zombie Hunting Advertisement

Hello OneOverZero, I am ShogoFan3000. I am a professional zombie hunter. If you have any questions about zombies, just ask me.ShogoFan3000

!

I AMAZE MYSELF! For the first time in my life, I have kept a research paper within the page limits. My AP USA History paper on the Monitor and the Virginia has fallen comfortably within the 5-7 page limit. What does this mean for the future of the Universe? Moreover, why am I telling you this? These are questions that remain to be answered... Jeremie@theLab 21:39, 16 December 2006 (UTC)~

Script

Here's the script for our project, in case you still need it. I want the iambic pentameter translation by tomorrow please, I'm getting stressed on this. Here's a schedule I've laid out:

• Wednesday: Get script with iambic pentameter in class so we may familiarize ourselves with our lines.

• Thursday: Continued familizarization

• Friday: Film ALL scenes, this day after school is you, me, Amanda and Adam's only time when we're all together.

• MLK Weekend: Amanda edits footage for presentation.

I'll lay this out to the group as a whole tomorrow. --Jeremie@theLab21:09, 9 January 2007 (UTC)

Chaucer’s The Canterbury Tales: Script

A Modernization Loosely Based Upon The Pardoner’s Tale

SCENE: Alcoholics Anonymous Meeting

KEVIN: Hi. My name is Kevin, and I have a problem.

ALCOHOLICS (Tom, Adam, Amanda off-camara): Hi Kevin.

KEVIN: After a terrible experience of mine, I feel impelled to tell you all a tale about ethics and morality, lest we lose both in this modern world.

A while back, I was the Big Cheese of B-Corp. We were a printing company that pumped out mounds of British literature. However, that was just a surface operation. Secretly, my company engaged in several profitable ventures that were almost, but not quite, entirely illegal. In our Monterey facility, we manufactured nuclear submarines that we would then hawk to small land-locked third world countries. They fell for anything with “nuclear” in the title, and we reaped a decent profit. I also operated Place-to-Place Airlines out of Tacoma, which manufactured 747s marketed as “the first passenger aircraft that can do barrel-rolls.” Curse the Laws of Physics! That was a decent investment until the FAA investigated, but with a few off-shore bank accounts and some track-covering we got off scott-free with our profits. Finally, under our main printing headquarters we had a highly productive rat poison factory. I was the sole ruler of a growing business empire. But alas, empires always crumble. Rome, Khmer, Britain and others all fell, and I experienced my tumble as well. I introduce you to three of my former employees: TOM was a guy who had never challenged himself before in his life, and he suddenly tried one year. I liked him when he first came to me, and he made a good first impression, but alas he slacked off and fell from my grace. AMANDA was an interesting character. She had a great work-ethic, but a temper that messed up everything. Finally, we have ADAM. He was our resident yes-man. So I bring you to an employee seminar, long ago.

SCENE: Hermes Fountain, B-Corp Groton Campus

TOM: There is a fatal error in the mainframe computer.

AMANDA: Why?

TOM: (voiceover) Because I spilt Red Bull on it.

COMPUTER: Woe is unto thee!

AMANDA: Why?

TOM: Because Adam pushed me.

AMANDA: Making excuses?

TOM: Yes.

AMANDA: Why?

TOM: Gah! I didn’t expect some kind of Spanish Inquisiton!

KEVIN: Good day, employees! I’d like to welcome you to B-Corp. As you labor here, don’t think of it as “work.” That carries a negative connotation that is destructive to morale. Think instead of your labor here as fun! This is your time to have fun, so relish it, or so help me, I WILL TEAR YOU LIMB FROM LIMB. Ah-hem. So, in order to accentuate an atmosphere of fun, I’ve watered down performance rankings. Though I’d prefer to repeal them out-right, the Board of Directors is making me do them. So your employee reviews will be almost impossible to comprehend. So, before I send you out into the Cathedral Hall, just remember that I’m your buddy here. I’m an employee among CEOs, so have fun! Oh, and since we do business differently at B-Corp, you must adapt! Tootles.

AMANDA: Don’t you agree that this sounds…strange?

ADAM: Yes!

TOM: But at the same time, fun, so let’s dive into it like fools without thinking of consequences!

ALL: Yay!

SCENE: B-Corp Hallway

KEVIN: Tom, I’d like to talk to you. Would you mind accompanying me to the local Charley’s for a spot of luncheon while we chat?

TOM: Okay.

SCENE: Charley’s

KEVIN: So Tom, I’ve been reviewing the work you’ve submitted to me recently, and I must say, it is stellar. Keep up the good work pal.

TOM: Yes! I have gotten on the bosses’ good side. Slack time!

SCENE: Kevin’s B-Corp Office

KEVIN: Adam, come here a moment.

ADAM: Yes!

KEVIN: Could you file some finance reports for me?

ADAM: Yes!

KEVIN: Could you also revamp the company website?

ADAM: Yes!

KEVIN: And while you’re at it, could you man the first-aid station?

ADAM: Yes!

KEVIN: Adam, are you by any chance a yes-man?

ADAM: Yes!

KEVIN:…I see an advantage in this. Ah-hem, please hack the New York Stock Exchange, float the value of our company’s stock, sell my shares to make a killing, then artificially lower the market so I can drop my bonds, embezzle enough funds from the Bank of America to finance my new Hummer, hire illegal immigrants to finish my vacation home and farm B-Corp’s secret fruit ranch. While you’re at it, walk to Colombia and get me some coffee.

ADAM: Yes!

KEVIN: Oh, and remember Adam, I rail against infraction of corporate ethics. DON’T VIOLATE ANY ETHICS OR SO HELP ME I SHALL CRUCIFY YOU!

So far this day is going quite well.

SCENE: Kevin’s B-Corp Office

AMANDA: Kevin, we’ve broken all the records for book shipping this week!

KEVIN: Congratulations! Why not do it every week?

AMANDA: Because that’s a logical fallacy.

KEVIN: Why?

AMANDA: Because to ship an expanding amount of books we would have to have an equally expanding market. But the market isn’t growing. We’d have so much product it would devalue and ruin the company.

KEVIN: Make me care!

AMANDA: What?

KEVIN: Never mind, you have not established an eloquent voice on this matter. Away with you!

AMANDA: Sheesh

KEVIN: (on loudspeaker) Attention all B-Corp employees, everyone in the marketing department has now been laid off. Have a nice day.

AMANDA: Shameless capitalist!

SCENE: B-Corp Hallway

AMANDA: So Tom, how’s slacking off?

TOM: Superb, and I’m still doing well!

AMANDA: How do you know?

TOM: Actually, I don’t! Let’s compare our reviews. I got a check-plus.

AMANDA: I got a 5.

ADAM: I got a chocolate smudge…its Milky Way!

AMANDA: What are these supposed to mean?

KEVIN: New delivery of performance reports for the financial quarter. Careful people, this isn’t looking so good. I was surprised with the performances, and if you don’t shape up I might fire you. I don’t like firing advanced employees, BUT I MAY HAVE TO!

TOM: What the- I got a “Below Average!”

AMANDA: I did too! It must have been that report on the shipment of Grendel novels to North Dakota. I thought I bombed that!

ADAM: I got “Non-Applicable.”

AMANDA: Well, I’m outraged. This doesn’t make sense! This whole corporate gig in this specific company isn’t what I’m used to! There are no solid performance rankings. How can I have fun if I’m constantly worrying about my rank?

KEVIN: No! You don’t get it! There’s fun to be had! Look, if you need help I’m available. Seriously, I’ve been announcing this over and over: if you need help talk to me. I’m truthful. So many people used to ask for my help with reports and because of our joint-work, they improved as workers and as people. But now, hardly anyone is coming for a chat. What’s going on? It’s time for a change, and that goes for all of us. I’ll be in my office.

AMANDA: I’m so distraught by this ranking and all the lay-offs. I constantly feel like I need to peek over my shoulder. It must be Kevin’s fault! We must get even with this capitalist! Who’s with me?

TOM: You know what, sure. And Adam, we know how you’ll respond. Just don’t open your mouth.

AMANDA: I hearby declare us the Sisterhood of Getting Even! We will hunt down our capitalist employer and overcome him!

(Walk a little ways to an office with a TV)

TOM: Hey, look at the Stock Market Channel on TV. B-Corp’s stock is through the roof! Money’s pouring into the company!...I have a cunning plan.

AMANDA: What?

TOM: We shall steal all of the company’s profit from this quarter, and that will render us even with Kevin!

AMANDA: Embezzlement…brilliant!

ADAM: I can arrange for that.

AMANDA: Perfect, sit down at this computer terminal and start hacking the mainframe. Tom, we need to celebrate when this is done. Go to the executive break room and smuggle some champagne to us.

TOM: Right-o.

(Tom leaves)

AMANDA: So Adam…that’s a lot of money you’re transferring. Whoa! You broke five million there! How much are we after?

ADAM: One billion even.

AMANDA. Too bad we’ll have to split that three ways, that’s only Three-hundred thirty-three million, three-hundred thirty-three thousand, three-hundred thirty three dollars, and thrity-three and one-third cents for each of us. Imagine, my dear Adam, if we could only split it two-ways. Imagine. You’d get five-hundred million dollars. That’s a good hunk of change.

ADAM: Yeah…you’re right…how can I get that?

AMANDA: Cut Tom loose. He’s not here, forget him. We’ll take the lot and go to Bora Bora!

ADAM: What about when Tom comes back?

AMANDA: We’ll be long-gone by then. Just leave this bottle of alcohol at his workstation and that will seal his fate.

SCENE: B-Corp Stairwell

TOM: I have a cunning plan…What if I took all that money for myself? This is intriguing, I must pursue this question further. The problem is, how would I get rid of Amanda and Adam? Hmmm…I know! I’ll spike the drinks with rat poison from downstairs!

SCENE: B-Corp Secret Labs

TOM: Brilliant! The scientist told me the latest brand of poison can exterminate life within a minute and a half! Now, to the break room!

SCENE: B-Corp Executive Break Room

TOM: Menya zovut Shnur, menya zovut shnur…Yes! I have the bottles.

KEVIN: Oh Tom, just the man I was looking for. I’ve just got out with the board. Look at your employee review.

TOM: It’s got a Reese’s smudge on it. Is that better than a Milky Way or not?

KEVIN: No, that’s not the rank. This is.

TOM: No.

KEVIN: Yes, “D for Dumb” is a bogus ranking, so I had to drop you to “Failure.” What is going on with you?

TOM: I don’t know, I’m trying.

KEVIN: Trying isn’t cutting it now.

TOM: Please, let me be try harder. I had this down at the beginning of the year, I know I screwed up along the way but…

KEVIN: Well I’m flabbergasted that your sloppy work is still continuing. You need to do business by the policy. Didn’t you get one?

TOM: Yeah, but apparently I didn’t read it hard enough. Listen, just give me a change. I’ll be your shooting star again. I’ll-

KEVIN: Tom, be serious with me, do you want this job?

TOM: Yes!

KEVIN: Then you and everyone else need to start working. This goes for all employees! You’re all not working hard enough and that is making me a bad CEO. I do not say that out of selfishness, I say that because this is a truth. If you all don’t put in the work, why should I? It’s a vicious cycle that is going to destroy this company and your livelihoods. We can all talk a little more, get more one-on-one. That will improve your standing! Moreover, do the work! Don’t give your daily assignments a slapdash run-through. Dissect, analyze, look. Look at your fish! This is the big whopper here: You can always do extra work. EXTRA WORK, EXTRA WORK, EXTRA WORK! Didn’t you see the part of the policy where it states that you can give me extra work? This is what will help you. We all need to make all of these improvements for ourselves. It’s time to be leaders. Stand up! Stand up! STAND UP! THIS HAS TO BE THE DAWNING OF A NEW DAY OR, MARK MY WORDS, WE ARE DOOMED TO DYSFUNCTION!

SCENE: B-Corp Office

AMANDA: We did it! All the money is wired! Let’s split.

SCENE: B-Corp Executive Break Room

KEVIN: I can hear a noise through the ventilation ducts. It sounded like Amanda!

SCENE: B-Corp Office

KEVIN: What? The money! It’s gone! Tom…did you have anything to do with this?

TOM: …Yes sir, yes I did.

KEVIN: Get out, you’re finished with this company. But at least you have integrity. Oh, and fortunately your friends are ruined.

TOM: How’s that?

KEVIN: Because I purposely converted all of our stock profits to Yen. Your accomplices only got away with a few hundred bucks!

SCENE: Bliss Place, Norwich

TOM: Whistle…

AMANDA: There he is, get him!

(Tom is surrounded by Adam and Amanda)

TOM: What’s going on here?

(Amanda brandishes a rapier and proceeds to murder her adversary Thomas Béckett-style)

TOM: Gaaah! (Dies, champagne bottle rolls out from under him)

AMANDA: Hey look, he had champagne! Let’s drink!

(Adam and Amanda proceed to take large swigs)

SCENE: Bank of America

AMANDA: Teller, my friend and I have one billion dollars in stocks to convert to cash. Could you do that? Here’s the receipt.

TELLER (Kevin off-camara): Certainly.

AMANDA: Think of it Adam, two minutes and you and I will be on our way to Vegas!

TELLER: Um…we have a problem. This isn’t a billion dollars, this is one billion Yen. I can only give you a few hundred bucks. Is that a problem

ADAM: NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

AMANDA/ADAM (in unison): Gack! (Fall, die on ground)

SCENE: Alcoholics Anonymous Meeting

KEVIN: So, that’s the tale of B-Corp. Let this be a lesson to you all. Everyone must persevere in ethics, in particular work-ethic. You’ve heard the soliloquies. Now it is your turn to act. What will you be? Will you be one of those who pushes the machine towards breakdown, or will you become a helpful cog and assist it in running smoothly? You simply face pain and frustration on one side, and success on the other. Which will it be for this machine? You choose. As for me, I suppose my ethics were not what they should have been. Considering what I’ve done to B-Corp, all those illegal operations, I should be one to talk. But then again, people can be changed by heart-rending experiences, so I seek only to preach ethics truly now, and not to make myself look good. Oh, and by the way we still have some nuclear submarines that were supposed to ship to the Central African Republic. If anyone is interested, we accept Visa, MasterCard and Diner’s Club. It’s not that much, just a few grand. If someone would purchase a sub, that would be beneficial…