User talk:Sbank16/sandbox

Latest comment: 8 years ago by Vampeng in topic Feedback

Feedback

edit

Organized, sensible order? Chronologically? Article could be broken down into more sections Right now, it is a large paragraph with a lot of information Could be broken down into defining colorism, black America and slavery, European colonialism, Asia, etc…

Reflect all perspectives? Neutrality? I think it displays well the definition and background of colorism, though there are some parts that seem a little opinionative (dark skinned slaves toiled vs light skinned tasks far less grueling) “Making it a persistent form of discrimination that should be fought with the same urgency that racism is” very opinionative, like a thesis, maybe revise or omit I think with regards to positive or negative light this article displays a more negative light on the topic. I feel like in some areas it seems to be leading me to believe that you hate colorism (I do too) “Many people” makes claims on unnamed groups of people, maybe specify which people believe or associate colorism with only Black America or omit the people and say something like “Although colorism is often associated with Black America, it has existed in other facets of the world”? Either specify the people or eliminate them

Sources There are no sources

What does it do well? The article gives a clear definition of the term and gives pretty clear background and development of the term in different world regions

Improvement? Breaking down the article into smaller pieces would be good just to make it easier to read and not chunk everything together A little editing couldn’t hurt, there were a couple grammar and spelling errors but not many Sources I think would be the biggest thing to improve the article at this point

Vampeng (talk) 14:52, 17 March 2016 (UTC)Reply