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Wikipedia:Featured list candidates/Citra Award for Best Leading Actress/archive1

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The following is an archived discussion of a featured list nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured list candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The list was promoted by Giants2008 10:01, 20 May 2013 (UTC) [1].[reply]

Citra Award for Best Leading Actress

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Citra Award for Best Leading Actress (edit | talk | history | protect | delete | links | watch | logs | views)

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Nominator(s):  — Crisco 1492 (talk) 14:29, 4 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

I am nominating this for featured list because I'm certain it meets the requirements. Following the Citra Award for Best Director, I give you the leading ladies. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 14:29, 4 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

  • Support. There's a boatload of redlinks on the page which is kinda glaringly crying out for creation of new article stubs at least ... but otherwise, seems to be high quality indeed. — Cirt (talk) 08:13, 8 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Resolved comments from Bloom6132 (talk) 20:36, 9 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Comments –
  • "…to Indonesian actresses in recognition for their achievements…" – should read "in recognition of their achievements."
  • "Four other actresses have won multiple Citra Awards:" – might want to use a "—" instead of a colon, but optional, since I understand there may be minor formatting/style differences.
  • "Four actresses (Jajang C. Noer, …) have" – I would use "—" instead of brackets, but once again, optional.

—Bloom6132 (talk) 02:18, 9 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

  • Support. Formatting and prose look good. It might not be a bad idea to fire in some quick alt text for the images, though it's more of an academic issue since they're all descriptively similar enough that it wouldn't really make a noticeable difference. I would however reworded the sentence "Four films have seen multiple cast members receive nominations, although of these only Mengejar Mas-Mas's Dinna Olivia received the award"—what you're going for here is to say that Mengejar Mas-Mas is the only film to feature multiple noms with a win, but filling in all the information in the sentence at once like that makes it a little confusing. Try splitting it up a bit, perhaps as "Four films have seen multiple cast members receive nominations. Of these, only Mengejar Mas-Mass earned a win, with Dinna Olivia receiving the award" (feel free to tinker as my prose style isn't the best). Aside from that I'm more than happy with this list. GRAPPLE X 18:26, 11 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

  • Check image captions - complete sentences need to take a full stop.
  • "recognition" and "recognised" in quick succession...
  • That second sentence is quite lengthy, I'd split it.
  • "recipients from a shortlist of three to six films." mildly confusing, it's a shortlist of people, not films, surely?
  • Just curious, what's the meaning/origin of "Citra"?
  • "were first given at " - were first presented at... perhaps?
  • "In 1973 the IFF began to be held annually." not great, maybe "From 1973, the IFF were held annually"?
No, as IFF is "Indonesian Film Festival" (singular). Done with "was" — Crisco 1492 (talk) 07:57, 16 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "who won six awards out of ten" six awards from ten...
Done. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 07:57, 16 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "receive concurrent nominations" I found that mildly confusing, perhaps "more than one nomination in a single year" or something similar?
Done — Crisco 1492 (talk) 07:57, 16 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

The Rambling Man (talk) 07:19, 16 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.
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