 | This page contains material that is kept because it is considered humorous. Such material is not meant to be taken seriously. |
 | This page in a nutshell: WikiSeals are a species of WikiFauna who bite vandals and revert vandalism. They are known for their aggressive, mean behaviour. |
| WikiSeal Temporal range:
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|---|---|
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| The WikiSeal may look cute and cuddly, but the truth is that it is extremely ferocious and will bite any vandal in its path and may even harrass the vandal. | |
Scientific classification 
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| Domain: | Eukaryota |
| Kingdom: | Animalia |
| Phylum: | Chordata |
| Class: | Mammalia |
| Order: | Carnivora |
| Clade: | Pinnipedia |
| Family: | Phocidae |
| Genus: | Pagophilus |
| Species: | P. mordereus
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| Binomial name | |
| Pagophilus mordereus Treekangaroosandlions 2, 2021
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| Subspecies | |
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| Range shown in white | |
| Synonyms | |
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WikiSeals are a species of WikiFauna that roam in the waters of the Article Circle. It is hunted for its fat and skin by WikiBarbarians. Typical WikiSeal behaviour includes reverting vandalism, adding stub tags to pages, and biting vandals.
Behaviour and status
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WikiSeals tend to be harsh around vandals, and sometimes newcomers. WikiSeals are known to bite vandals, young editors, newcomers, and even developers. WikiSeals may become extremely fussy over vandalism, small punctuation or capitalization errors, and sockpuppets. They will often dive in the deep seas of Wikipedia and find vandalism.
If the WikiSeal finds vandalism, it will bite the vandal responsible for the aforementioned vandalism and then shred the vandal into pieces with its sharpened claws. A WikiSeal also may search for stubs in the snow. If a WikiSeal finds a stub in the snow, it will try and expand the stub as much as possible.
WikiSeals can get very angry if they see a paid editor or a COI editor. They may even cry out the following call if they see a paid or COI user:
YOU'RE A COI! YOU'RE A PAID! RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY! TILL YOU'RE NOWHERE TO BE FOUND!
If the WikiSeal gets too furious at a paid or COI editor, it will slowly go feral-rabid and sink its teeth into the editor. This behaviour of the WikiSeal usually results in a clubbing via lead-filled snowshoes by a fur trapper (Zappa would not approve).
WikiSeals are fascinated by barnstars; especially their shininess. If a WikiSeal finds a barnstar, they will bury it in the snow, throw the barnstar into a cage, and lock the cage to protect it from vandals. WikiSeals often tend to get greedy whenever they see a barnstar. WikiSeals despise WikiLove. If someone ever gives them a WikiLove award, they will wipe out the award from their talk page.
Examples of WikiSeal-like behaviour
editExamples of WikiSeal-like behaviour include:
- Using sharp claws to kill vandals
- Noticing a newcomer's edits, so the WikiSeal decides to bite or harass them
- Crying COI, paid or wolf at other users
- Fixing grammar and capitalization on pages as much as possible
- Constantly blocking vandals and sockpuppets
- Reverting a vandal's vandalism over and over again, which could result in an edit war
- Continuously cleaning up and copyediting articles
Hibernation
editEvery now and then, the WikiSeal will hibernate after an exhausting day of biting newcomers and vandals. WikiSeals usually stop hibernating after 3–5 months. WikiSeals may hibernate for a very long amount of time, which can lead to inactivity.
WikiSeals who are in need of a WikiBreak can place the template {{Hibernation}} on their user page.
Status
editAccording to the IUCN 3.1 system, the WikiSeal is a critically endangered species, with only one specimen being present, Drogoton. The WikiSeal Breeding Program hopes to increase these numbers in the future.
Relations with other WikiFauna
editThe WikiSeal primarily feeds on WikiTrouts and WikiMinnows, similar to the WikiPuma. WikiSeals also seem to get along with WikiOtters, WikiWolves, and WikiBadgers, although the WikiOtters tend to dislike the WikiSeal's vicious and sadistic behaviour.
The WikiSeal's only known enemies are the WikiBarbarian and WikiPuma. WikiBarbarians hunt for the WikiSeal's thick, fluffy and soft fur for making coats and blankets. WikiSeals are also fond of biting WikiKittens and WikiPuppeteers.
WikiPumas loath WikiSeals with a burning passion. If a WikiPuma notices a WikiSeal sinking their teeth into a newcomer, the WikiPuma will unsheathe their claws out and murder the WikiSeal.
WikiFerocious Seal
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WikiFerocious Seals are the WikiFallen version of WikiSeals. WikiFerocious Seals are exceedingly dangerous because they engage in edit wars, create attack pages, bite newcomers even harder than normal WikiSeals, and post legal threats to innocent editors.
Whenever a WikiFerocious Seal sees a newcomer, it will charge at the newcomer and bite the unlucky user. After biting the newcomer, the WikiFerocious Seal will harrass the user. If a fur trapper notices the WikiFerocious Seal's horrible behaviour, they will imprison it indefinitely.
Identification
editIt is very difficult to locate WikiSeals, as they are often mistaken for WikiWolves and WikiBadgers. For those who think that they are definitely WikiSeals, feel free to add these templates onto your user page.
| Code | Result | ||
|---|---|---|---|
| {{User:Cedelmwood/ User WikiSeal}} |
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| {{Hibernation}} |
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See also
edit- Wikipedia:WikiVampire
- Wikipedia:Teahouse, a place where WikiSeals can be seen biting newcomers seeking for help
