Draft talk:Community Jameel
Latest comment: 8 months ago by Saudimenkar in topic Non-objective drafting
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Non-objective drafting
editThis is starting to read like a press release and needs to be pared back. Suggest to delete following:
- 75th anniversary section
- Leadership section (all of it)
- second paragraph of the introduction: it does go to WP:NOTE, but reads non-objectively
- The Activities section should be slimmed down, no need to list all the research centres. The most prominent only.
- Sentence beginning “Community Jameel continues to engage” under Arts philanthropy
The Approach section might need to stay as it does seem to point to distinctive aspects of what Community Jameel does.Biotecher2 (talk) 16:35, 4 February 2024 (UTC)
- I meant the third para in the intro - beginning “Community Jameel is notable for”. Second one is fine. Biotecher2 (talk) 16:38, 4 February 2024 (UTC)
- Thank you for the feedback. Will alter. Saudimenkar (talk) 15:10, 5 February 2024 (UTC)