Talk:$456,000 Squid Game in Real Life!/GA1

Latest comment: 11 months ago by Skyshifter in topic GA Review

GA Review

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The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.


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Reviewer: Skyshifter (talk · contribs) 03:53, 31 October 2023 (UTC)Reply


Will try to review this in a day. Skyshifter talk 03:53, 31 October 2023 (UTC)Reply

Couldn't do it. But I should end it soon. Skyshifter talk 19:14, 1 November 2023 (UTC)Reply

Infobox and lead

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  • Image has a valid fair use rationale
  • Infobox seems okay
  • You could add a note stating that the original capitalization is "$456,000 Squid Game In Real Life!" (with "In" instead of "in")
  • Is it necessary to note that it is a 25-minute video in the lead? I think you could remove "25-minute"
  • "YouTube video by American YouTuber Jimmy Donaldson, known on YouTube as MrBeast" — change the last "YouTube" to "the platform" to avoid repetition of "YouTube[r]"

Background

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  • Seems fine

Production

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  • Seems fine

Video

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  • "and is not intended to be a parody" — according to who?
  • "the players competed in a series of games, each reducing the amount of players" — writing could be improved here to avoid repetition of players; maybe something like "the players competed in a series of games where losing would result in elimination".
  • "The winner of the grand prize was player 079." — I'm not sure if this is relevant
  • I feel like the last paragraph ("The video was published to the MrBeast [...]) and the entire Style section should all be in Reception, as they're not in the video. They are about the impact of the video after its release and analysis of it.

Reception

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  • "Squid Game creator Hwang Dong-hyuk apparently responded to the video" — why "apparently"?
  • "other writers described it as 'perfect'" — name the writers
  • "Youshaei's tweet was criticized" — who criticized it?
  • "from the work of others (e.g. reaction videos)" — "from the work of others, such as reaction videos" for better flow
  • "Donaldson received criticism from a number of journalists" — "from some journalists" would be more appropriate IMO, especially if Distractify gets removed so we'll only have 3 sources, which isn't enough to say "a number"

Others

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  On hold Skyshifter talk 02:26, 3 November 2023 (UTC)Reply

Thanks for the review, will get to these soon.  PerfectSoundWhatever (t; c) 01:57, 5 November 2023 (UTC)Reply
@Skyshifter 46.6.57.13 (talk) 20:07, 6 November 2023 (UTC)Reply
? Skyshifter talk 21:11, 6 November 2023 (UTC)Reply
Skyshifter, I have edited the article and have followed your suggestions. Could you please re-evaluate it? — Davest3r08 (^_^) (talk) 15:46, 9 November 2023 (UTC)Reply
@Davest3r08: Thank you, but wasn't PerfectSoundWhatever supposed to evaluate them? Skyshifter talk 16:44, 9 November 2023 (UTC)Reply
Skyshifter, oh, sorry, I was unaware. I pinged you because you were the reviewer. — Davest3r08 (^_^) (talk) 16:52, 9 November 2023 (UTC)Reply
I'll take a second look because I don't think I agree with everything. But overall it looks good and thanks to Davest3r08 for putting in the time to fix these. — PerfectSoundWhatever (t; c) 21:12, 9 November 2023 (UTC)Reply
PerfectSoundWhatever, you're welcome. — Davest3r08 (^_^) (talk) 23:24, 9 November 2023 (UTC)Reply

 Pass Skyshifter talk 01:31, 1 December 2023 (UTC)Reply

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.