Talk:ʻAkahi/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Eddie891 (talk · contribs) 23:25, 27 April 2018 (UTC)

I'll be starting this soon. Eddie891 ^Talk _Work 23:25, 27 April 2018 (UTC)

• • The blacklist links template has got to go.
    • Y Eddie891 ^Talk _Work 12:43, 5 May 2018 (UTC)
  • If no image is available, so be it. Eddie891 ^Talk _Work 23:26, 27 April 2018 (UTC)
  • Maybe add a sentence about something she did as high chief in the lede.

• • She didn't do much of note besides held land and married politically active chiefs. The Catholic sympathy incident seems marginal to mention in introduction.--KAVEBEAR (talk) 05:59, 16 May 2018 (UTC)

• • "became one of the wives" would it make more sense to say "married?" perhaps add the year of the marriage, if available.

• • Changed but there are no known dates.--KAVEBEAR (talk) 05:59, 16 May 2018 (UTC)

• • "In his own right" remove, as it is unnecessary.

• • Changed.--KAVEBEAR (talk) 05:59, 16 May 2018 (UTC)

• • "was known commonly by foreigners" because was is used a bit before in the sentence, perhaps rephrase as "and commonly known by foreigners as..."

• • Changed.--KAVEBEAR (talk) 05:59, 16 May 2018 (UTC)

• • "attended by the chiefs and foreign residents." this reads like all the chiefs and foreign residents attended. Perhaps clarify.

• • Changed.--KAVEBEAR (talk) 05:59, 16 May 2018 (UTC)

• • "Her second husband Kalanimoku," saying "her second husband" is unnecessary, because it is described above.

• • Changed.--KAVEBEAR (talk) 05:59, 16 May 2018 (UTC)

• • Source 7 needs a URL to determine verifiability.

• • Added back in.--KAVEBEAR (talk) 05:59, 16 May 2018 (UTC)

• • KAVEBEAR: I think I will be promoting upon conclusion of my problems. Eddie891 ^Talk _Work 12:43, 5 May 2018 (UTC)

Will address this on the weekend.--KAVEBEAR (talk) 07:05, 9 May 2018 (UTC)

@Eddie891: Addressed all points.--KAVEBEAR (talk) 05:59, 16 May 2018 (UTC)

• See No reason not to promote. Eddie891 ^Talk _Work 23:52, 16 May 2018 (UTC)