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Talk:11th Battalion (Australia)/GA1

< Talk:11th Battalion (Australia)
Latest comment: 11 years ago by Anotherclown in topic GA Review

GA Review

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Latest comment: 11 years ago9 comments2 people in discussion
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Reviewing

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Reviewer: Anotherclown (talk · contribs) 10:36, 10 September 2013 (UTC)Reply

Progression

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  • Version of the article when originally reviewed: [1]
  • Version of the article when review was closed: [2]

Technical review

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Criteria

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  • It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose):   b (MoS):  
    • "The 11th Battalion was formed on 17 August 1914, less than two weeks after the declaration of war on 4 August 1914..." suggest removing second instance of 1914 as already clear which year from the text.
    • Typo here: "Along with the 9th, 10th and 12th Battalions, it formed Colonel Ewen Sinclair-Maclagan's 3rd Brigade, which assigned to the 1st Division...", consider instead: "Along with the 9th, 10th and 12th Battalions, it formed Colonel Ewen Sinclair-Maclagan's 3rd Brigade, which was assigned to the 1st Division..."
    • This is a little repetitive: " The first battalion raised in Western Australia, under the command of Lieutenant Colonel James Lyon-Johnston, the battalion concentrated at Blackboy Hill, Western Australia..." (battalion twice in same sentence. Consider instead: " The first battalion raised in Western Australia, under the command of Lieutenant Colonel James Lyon-Johnston, it concentrated at Blackboy Hill, Western Australia."
    • Repetitive wording here: "However, the battalion became disorganised during the landing and became mixed with other units..." (became twice). Perhaps reword?
    • "On 31 July, a party of around 200 men led by Captain Raymond Leane...", should just be "On 31 July, a party of around 200 men led by Leane..." rm rank fol formal introduction at first use per WP:SURNAME.
    • "73 other members of the battalion were wounded during the attack...", fairly sure "73" needs to be spelt out here as a number starting a sentence per WP:MOSNUM, i.e. "seventy-three".
    • I think this could be worded better: "The withdrawal had been planned for the 14th, but due to bad weather this was delayed until on the night of the 16/17 November 1915." Consider instead: "The withdrawal had been planned for the 14th, but due to bad weather this was delayed until the night of the 16/17 November 1915."
    • Missing word here: "It arrived 5 April at Marseilles, France...", probably better as "It arrived on 5 April at Marseilles, France..."
    • Missing word here: "The Germans then put in another attack, which was once again turned back, before the 11th launched a limited counterattack regained the ground that had been lost..." consider: "The Germans then put in another attack, which was once again turned back, before the 11th launched a limited counterattack, regaining the ground that had been lost."
    • should be singular here, not plural: " one CBs"
    • Typo here: "The 11 Battalion's final commanding officer...", should be "The 11th Battalion's final commanding officer..."
    • Typo here: "...an original member of the battalion who had appointed a company sergeant major...", perhaps: "...an original member of the battalion who had been appointed a company sergeant major..."
    • Repetitive: "As a result of the economic pressures of the Great Depression, the number of volunteers fell and as a result..." (as a result twice).
    • Repetitive: "A separate 11th Battalion, Royal Western Australia Regiment was reformed separately..." (separate and separately).
  • It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (references):   b (citations to reliable sources):   c (OR):  
    • All major points cited using WP:RS.
    • No issues with OR.
  • It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects):   b (focused):  
    • Most major points seem to be covered without going into undue detail.
    • Level of coverage seems appropriate.
  • It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    a (fair representation):   b (all significant views):  
    • No issues here.
  • It is stable.
    No edit wars etc.:  
    • No issues here.
  • It contains images, where possible, to illustrate the topic.
    a (tagged and captioned):   b (Is illustrated with appropriate images):   c (non-free images have fair use rationales):   d public domain pictures appropriately demonstrate why they are public domain:  
    • Images are all PD and / or licensed and seem appropriate to the article.
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