Talk:18th Pennsylvania Cavalry Regiment/GA1

Latest comment: 4 years ago by TwoScars in topic GA Review

GA Review

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Reviewer: Hog Farm (talk · contribs) 15:01, 9 September 2020 (UTC)Reply


Okay, so this might take awhile. I've been fairly busy in real life for the last several days, so I'll be doing this in chunks. Most of my wiki time lately has been going to cleaning up non-notable geography stubs, but this article is a lot more interesting than Tan-Tar-A Resort Seaplane Base, so it'll be getting my attention. Hog Farm Bacon 19:08, 11 September 2020 (UTC)Reply

Lead
  • Link colonel, lieutenant colonel, and major in the lead
Linked. TwoScars (talk) 15:31, 12 September 2020 (UTC)Reply
  • Go ahead and say what states Hanover and Rude's Hill were in
Fixed (Pennsylvania & Virginia). TwoScars (talk) 15:31, 12 September 2020 (UTC)Reply
Formation and organization
  • List of Pennsylvania Civil War units says "This is because Pennsylvania numbered all regiments, regardless of branch, in sequence depending on when the regiment was raised. For example, the 6th Cavalry was also numbered the 70th Volunteer Regiment since it was raised between the 69th Infantry and the 71st Infantry, thereby there is no 70th Infantry.". If you can source that, it's worth a footnote explaining that, as it's interesting, and explains the number
Added footnote. TwoScars (talk) 17:59, 12 September 2020 (UTC)Reply
  • Just as a clarification for the infobox, the date it first became active is generally considered to be the date it mustered into federal service, so January 1863 probably isn't the best beginning active date.
Changed to Fall 1862. (Companies were mustered in between August and November of 1862.) TwoScars (talk) 17:59, 12 September 2020 (UTC)Reply
Early action
  • "Their first scouting task was on January 11, when a portion of the regiment went on a late-night patrol with the 1st Virginia Cavalry Regiment" - Probably best to mention that this was a Union regiment in the main body, not just the footnote
Added ", which was loyal to the Union"
  • Link Brigadier General
Linked. TwoScars (talk) 17:59, 12 September 2020 (UTC)Reply
  • " the regiment became part of Colonel Richard Butler Price's Independent Cavalry Brigade," - Drop the piped link on Price per MOS:EGG. It looks like you're linking to an article on Price, when you're really just linking the regimental article.
Dropped link. TwoScars (talk) 17:59, 12 September 2020 (UTC)Reply
Gettysburg campaign
  • 5th New York Cavalry Regiment is duplinked, it was already linked earlier in the main body
Fixed. TwoScars (talk) 18:42, 12 September 2020 (UTC)Reply
Battle of Hanover
  • 13th Virginia Cavalry is overlinked
Fixed. TwoScars (talk) 18:42, 12 September 2020 (UTC)Reply
  • " then a battalion from North Carolina's 2nd Cavalry" - "then a battalion from the 2nd North Carolina Cavalry Regiment". Don't be afraid to redlink the 2nd NC Cav. It passes WP:MILUNIT, and hopefully someone will write that article sometime. The current construction is fairly awkward.
Fixed and redlinked. TwoScars (talk) 18:42, 12 September 2020 (UTC)Reply
Battle of Williamsport
  • Rebel generally isn't used for Confederate, as it's a little too informal to be encyclopedic. Yeah, it's a bit repetitive to keep saying Confederate, but it's more encyclopedic tone.
Changed "rebel" to "Confederate". TwoScars (talk) 18:42, 12 September 2020 (UTC)Reply
Cold Harbor
  • Might be worth mentioning that the great casualty disparity at Cold Harbor was due to futile Union frontal assaults
Added "Much of this difference in casualties was caused by Union infantry assaults on well-entrenched enemy troops, especially on June 3." TwoScars (talk) 18:42, 12 September 2020 (UTC)Reply
Bristoe and Mine Run campaigns
  • "and Brigadier General Henry E. Davies, Jr. " - See MOS:JR; drop the comma
Dropped comma. TwoScars (talk) 18:42, 12 September 2020 (UTC)Reply
  • "Casualties for the regiment in this October 11 engagement were one killed - We've already established this was on October 11, so you don't need to repeat that here
Dropped "in the October 11 engagement" TwoScars (talk) 18:42, 12 September 2020 (UTC)Reply
Post Cold Harbor
Linked. TwoScars (talk) 18:42, 12 September 2020 (UTC)Reply
Shenandoah Valley
  • "fight Confederate General Jubal Early " - General was actually an official rank in the Confederate States Army, held by Lee and Samuel Cooper and A. S. Johnston and that level of leader. Early was technically only a Lieutenant General, so give the full rank.
Added Lieutenant, and wikilinked to General officers in the CSA. TwoScars (talk) 15:30, 14 September 2020 (UTC)Reply
  • " in places such as Charlestown, Bolivar Heights, Boonsboro, Sharpsburg, Shepherdstown, Berryville" - You mention it being on both sides of the river, so state which ones are in WV, and which ones are in MD.
Fixed. (Berryville is in VA).
Third Battle of Winchester
  • "infantry corps under Wright and Emory (XIX Corps)" - Only mention of Emory in the article, we need full name, rank, and link.
Fixed and linked - Brigadier General William H. Emory. TwoScars (talk) 16:05, 14 September 2020 (UTC)Reply
  • Link Crook
Linked Crook. TwoScars (talk) 16:05, 14 September 2020 (UTC)Reply
Conclusion
  • "Colonel (later Brigadier General) Rodenbough was the only Medal of Honor recipient, but his award was for actions while in another regiment" - The fact that he was the only one from the regiment to recieve the MOH is not in the source. Honestly, since they had not MOH recipients, I don't see a strong need to mention it in the article whatsoever, especially since Rodenbough was only briefly associated with the unit
Commented out this sentence. I had a problem that lasted for months with the 1st West Virginia Cavalry Regiment where someone insisted on including a MOH winner who had already moved to another regiment when the action occurred. Someone who was making small edits to a GA that made it wrong. If I have a similar problem, I might need to put the sentence back in. TwoScars (talk) 16:43, 14 September 2020 (UTC)Reply
  • When was the muster-out date for the 3rd Provisional Pennsylvania Cavalry Regiment?
Added muster-out date. TwoScars (talk) 16:43, 14 September 2020 (UTC)Reply
Images
  • Is there a map of the Shenandoah Valley Campaign of 1864 that can be added here? It would add more to the reader's understanding than some of the portrait photographs do.
Working on it. Could use this map, but it is a repeat of one used in the See also. Could also use a crop of the Sifton Praed map. TwoScars (talk) 16:43, 14 September 2020 (UTC)Reply
@TwoScars: - Use the first map. There's nothing wrong with having it both here and in the See also, IMO
Put in the first map. The cropped version of the second map is too hard to read, and someone can see it (if they want) by going to Wikimedia. TwoScars (talk) 17:24, 14 September 2020 (UTC)Reply
References
  • Be consistent with how you cite the American Battlefield Trust. Use the same organizational name for all of the citations to them.
Will work on it (after lunch!). TwoScars (talk) 17:24, 14 September 2020 (UTC)Reply
Fixed. TwoScars (talk) 18:18, 14 September 2020 (UTC)Reply
  • Does Rhodes have an OCLC?
No OCLC online or in the front of the book. I have added an ISBN that works with Amazon (apparently only Amazon) for a republished version. If that is inappropriate, I'll remove it. I used the 1900 version, and I don't know if the page numbering is the same in this new version. TwoScars (talk) 16:43, 14 September 2020 (UTC)Reply

Well, I think that's about it. I'd have a few more comments at an A-Class review, but that's all I see for the GA standards. Hog Farm Bacon 00:19, 13 September 2020 (UTC)Reply

If you already know those "few more comments at an A-Class review", please send them to my talk page. TwoScars (talk) 16:43, 14 September 2020 (UTC)Reply
I think I have covered everything unless you think I should remove the ISBN for Rhodes. As info, Charles Dudley Rhodes is listed in Wikipedia. I appreciate your work and patience. TwoScars (talk) 18:18, 14 September 2020 (UTC)Reply
@TwoScars: - I think it's good for GA now. There's two things I'd recommend if you're going to take this to WP:MILHIST/ACR: Try to reduce some of the footnotes a little (they are very dense and numerous) and maybe add a bit of some background/context to the regiment's movements. I had to work on both on some of my more recent efforts. See Landis' Missouri Battery, which is close to passing FAC, and Slayback's Missouri Cavalry Regiment, which recently passed A-Class. Hog Farm Bacon 14:26, 16 September 2020 (UTC)Reply
@Hog Farm: Thank you for all your work. Next year, I may try to work on some of the North Carolina cavalry regiments—I have a few other things to work on first. I will follow your advice and use Slayback's Missouri Cavalry Regiment as a "template" for what should be done. TwoScars (talk) 14:53, 16 September 2020 (UTC)Reply