Talk:1964–68 World Snooker Championships/GA1

Latest comment: 4 years ago by Epicgenius in topic GA Review

GA Review

edit
GA toolbox
Reviewing

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Epicgenius (talk · contribs) 18:51, 8 October 2020 (UTC)Reply


GA review
(see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose, spelling, and grammar):  
    b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):  
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (references):  
    b (citations to reliable sources):  
    c (OR):  
    d (copyvio and plagiarism):  
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects):  
    b (focused):  
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:  
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:  
  6. It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales):  
    b (appropriate use with suitable captions):  

Overall:
Pass/Fail:  

  ·   ·   ·  


Prose, POV, and coverage

edit

Lead

  • Since 1927 the World Snooker Championship was played as a single-elimination tournament - The verb is simple past tense, but the sentence structure indicates that it should be a continuous past tense. I suggest "had been played".
  • This began in 1964 organised by the Billiards Association and Control Council. - I would add a comma after "began in 1964" since that would set off the qualifying phrase "organised by the Billiards Association and Control Council".
  • Three of the matches played at the Burroughes Hall in London, England, two across South Africa, one in St George's Hall, Liverpool and the final match in Bolton - I also suggest semicolons after "England" and "South Africa" because this is a serial list wherein some of the phrases have commas.

Background

  • English player Rex Williams ran a four player tournament in Blackheath in 1964 which was the first commercially sponsored professional snooker event since 1960. - you can condense this by cutting out "which was" and adding a comma after 1964. I.e. "...in Blackheath in 1964, the first commercially sponsored professional snooker event since 1960." Also, is there a particular reason for the hiatus?
  • The championship would be defended on a challenge basis, with defending champion Pulman facing a prominent snooker professional with the winner becoming the new champion. - I would rephrase this because the word "with" is used twice in this sentence to set off a phrase.

Summary

  • Looking at the Results section, there are two events in 1964, one in March 1965, two in South Africa, one in April 1966, and one in March 1968. However, the 1964 section has three paragraphs, although the first two paragraphs are about the same event. I wonder if it would be easier to combine these first two paragraphs.
  • The winner of June 1965 South African Professional Championship - should this be "the winner of the June 1965..."?
  • a 5-day 35-frame match - can it be spelled out as "a five-day 35-frame"? Here, two numerical figures are used in short succession, which looks awkward.
  • with the player who won the most matches winning the championship - this wording is also a bit strange. I would suggest just outright saying that the first player to win four matches became the championship winner, since winning 4 of 7 is automatically a majority.

References

edit
edit

General comments

edit