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Talk:1st Parachute Battalion (Australia)/GA1

< Talk:1st Parachute Battalion (Australia)
Latest comment: 13 years ago by Anotherclown in topic GA Review

GA Review

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Latest comment: 13 years ago7 comments2 people in discussion
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Reviewing

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Reviewer: Anotherclown (talk) 06:55, 21 December 2010 (UTC)Reply

Progression

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  • Version of the article when originally reviewed: [1]
  • Version of the article when review was closed: [2]

Technical review

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  • Citations: - the citation check tool reveals no errors (no action required)
  • Disambiguations: none found - [3] (no action required)
  • Linkrot: Ext links all work - [4] (no action required)
  • Alt text: Images lack alt text (although this is not a requirement for GA anyway so its up to you if you want to add it or not) - [5] (no action required)

Criteria

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  • It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose):   b (MoS):  
    • The Advisor script reports one nbsp-dash that should be fixed;
    • This sentence in the lead is a little shakey for mine: "Formed in early 1943, and despite achieving a high level of readiness, the battalion did not see action during the war and was disbanded in 1946." Maybe reword to something like: "Formed in early 1943, the battalion did not see action during the war despite achieving a high level of readiness, and it was subsequently disbanded in 1946."
    • Is a citation really required in the lead - IMO all the relevant infomation is citated in the body of the article so I think it could probably be removed? Usually these should be avoided per WP:LEAD.
    • This paragraph is a little repetitive: "These volunteers completed their parachute training with 1st Parachute Training Unit before joining the unit." (unit used twice);
    • I'm not entirely sure by what is meant in this sentence: "As Australia's first airborne battalion required extensive training, in addition to training in airborne operations at Richmond, the battalion also trained in jungle warfare at Canungra in Queensland." Maybe reword?
    • IMO the third and fourth paragraphs could be merged as they are both fairly short and relate to the battalion's potenital operational service;
    • This sentence doesn't quite work for me: "The battalion was also warned in early 1945 to prepare for a mission to rescue thousands of Allied prisoners held by the Japanese at Sandakan in North Borneo." Maybe reword to something like: "The battalion was also warned to prepare for a mission to rescue thousands of Allied prisoners held by the Japanese at Sandakan in North Borneo in early 1945."
    • I don't think the 'however' is required in this sentence: "While an advance party of 120 men arrived in Singapore on 9 September, the remainder of the battalion remained in Australia however." (maybe just delete it?); and
    • This sentence is a little repetitive: "Orders were received to disband the battalion on 29 January 1946, and it was disbanded at Sydney a day later." (disband used twice)
  • It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (references):   b (citations to reliable sources):   c (OR):  
  • It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects):   b (focused):  
    • This is a fairly short article but given the units fairly limited service history and the fact that it was not used operationally IMO all the major points are adequately covered.
  • It is stable.
    No edit wars etc.:  
  • It contains images, where possible, to illustrate the topic.
    a (tagged and captioned):   b (Is illustrated with appropriate images):   c (non-free images have fair use rationales):   d public domain pictures appropriately demonstrate why they are public domain':  
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