Talk:2000 UEFA Cup semi-final violence

GA Review

This review is transcluded from Talk:2000 UEFA Cup semi-final violence/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Wrestlinglover (talk · contribs) 22:02, 11 May 2014 (UTC)

I'm gonna be reviewing this one.--WillC 22:02, 11 May 2014 (UTC)

I'll get to this tomorrow. I've had to deal with some personal issues recently such as a funeral.--WillC 04:19, 16 May 2014 (UTC)

Lead

• "semi-final first leg" - Though I can understand the point I don't know if others do. The word leg is a bit jargon towards sports. Suggest making it a more neutral term.--WillC 07:19, 20 May 2014 (UTC)
• "It is noted for the deaths of two Leeds fans." - The sentences after this say the same thing which makes them redundant. Either combine with the later sentences or remove in my opinion.--WillC 07:19, 20 May 2014 (UTC)

Events

• Move the first reference to the end of the sentence so that it doesn't break the statement in two and disrupt the flow.--WillC 07:19, 20 May 2014 (UTC)
• "Leeds fans had reportedly been taunting people from local bars" - Reported by who?--WillC 07:19, 20 May 2014 (UTC)
• The word report in several ways is used repeatedly. Best to use different words in some of the instances as to not be so repetitive and for the article to feature a better vocabulary.--WillC 07:19, 20 May 2014 (UTC)

Aftermath

• "For more details on on the follow-up riots in Copenhagen, see 2000 UEFA Cup Final riots." - Unnecessary repetition of word. Look closely.--WillC 07:19, 20 May 2014 (UTC)
• "flowers, scarves, shirts and tributes" - Comma missing in the series--WillC 07:19, 20 May 2014 (UTC)
• "black armband placed on it" - This is the first mention of the band and should be explained prior to this.--WillC 07:19, 20 May 2014 (UTC)
• "On the day of the final in Copenhagen, Denmark, members of Leeds United's hooligan firm, the Leeds United Service Crew, joined members of other British hooligan firms led by Arsenal's firm, The Herd in order to enact revenge attacks on Galatasaray fans in Copenhagen's City Hall Square" - Run-on sentence with comma splices. Clean up or split in two to make it clearer and easier to follow.--WillC 07:19, 20 May 2014 (UTC)
• " however, it was eventually cancelled as was pre-match hospitality prepared by Leeds' directors." - Remove eventually--WillC 07:19, 20 May 2014 (UTC)

References

• Good, all in good faith. Create an external links section with links to the respective websites of the teams and to hold the categories as well as the template. Makes the article look neater.--WillC 07:19, 20 May 2014 (UTC)

Other comments

• I suggest adding a background section to give the article a lead-in as to why the match (and issue) happened as well. Makes the article more well-rounded. Right now it is like a movie article without production. It just has the plot, the aftermath, and that is it. Needs some more in my opinion. I'll give you plenty of time to do this. Otherwise it is just prose issues. More info and fix prose issues. I'll look it over again then.--WillC 07:19, 20 May 2014 (UTC)

I've fixed most of the suggestions that you mentioned, I'll probably get time to add a background section later in the week. The C of E God Save the Queen! (talk) 08:14, 22 May 2014 (UTC)

Let me know when you do.--WillC 20:52, 23 May 2014 (UTC)

@Wrestlinglover: I have just added one this morning. The C of E God Save the Queen! (talk) 08:56, 24 May 2014 (UTC)

@The C of E: Looks good to me. I'm gonna pass it....well I have already passed it but yeah, congrats. Keep up the good work. Please don't stab anyone like the fans of these two teams.--WillC 05:44, 26 May 2014 (UTC)