Talk:2001 Malaysian Grand Prix/GA1

Latest comment: 4 years ago by Usernameunique in topic GA Review

GA Review

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Reviewer: Usernameunique (talk · contribs) 07:30, 5 April 2020 (UTC)Reply


Lead
  • the Ferraris were caught out — What does "caught out" mean?
Background
  • last classified team — What is a classified team?
  • Ferrari had won twice before — Meaning that had won every single Malaysian Grand Prix to that point?
  • Circuit officials moved back kerbs at turns five and six, and put back guard rails at turns two and 15 by 2 m (6.6 ft). — This is confusing, because either the officials could have "put back" the rails, or they could have "put" back-rails in place. I think you mean the former; if so, I'd suggest "Circuit officials moved kerbs back at turns five and six, and moved guard rails at turns two and 15 back by 2 m (6.6 ft)."
Practice
Qualifying
Post-qualifying
  • Why the standalone section? It sounds as if this happened during qualifying.
    • Changed the title of the section
  • You might want to explicitly state that Bernoldi, with no official time, was dropped to last.

Race

  • though he drove away from his starting slot — "as he drove"?
  • the race was shortened from 56 to 55 laps. — Why? Did they have to do a full lap around the track to reset?
  • Ralf Schumacher twitched — What does it mean to twitch?
  • As the two Ferraris pulled away from the rest of the field on lap two, Panis' engine failed, pitching his car backwards into the gravel trap through fire erupting from its rear due to an oil leak that ignited on his hot exhaust and laid on the track's centre. — This is a long and confusing sentence. I'd suggest splitting it in two, possibly with a semicolon. And how does a car travel "through" fire in its read? It also took me several more sentences of reading before realizing that you mean some of the unignited oil was what came to rest on the track's center.
  • Both drivers slid into the gravel trap — Because they hit the oil?
  • Although he had radio communications trouble to his pit wall — What the pit wall? And I think you mean "with" rather than "to".
  • The team's technical director Ross Brawn called Michael Schumacher in first and not his teammate Barrichello as the two had an incorrect intermediate tyre allocation. Barrichello was stationary for 1 minute and 12 seconds because Ferrari were missing his front-right wheel and debris was removed from his sidepods. Michael Schumacher was behind Barrichello and the duo emerged in 10th and 11th. — This is also confusing. If Barrichello was called in first, why was Schumacher there at the same time? What is an incorrect intermediate tyre allocation? If Schumacher was there with him, wasn't Schumacher also stopped for more than a minute?
    • Reworded MWright96 (talk) 08:39, 5 April 2020 (UTC)Reply
      • It's still confusing; it now says Schumacher was called in first, but then sat behind Barrichello. Also I think the URL for the source is incorrect, and should be fixed. Looking at a different source, it says that "Barrichello arrived first and Schumacher sat impatiently behind for a full 72 seconds as the gravel and detritus was cleared out from every nook and cranny." Doesn't this mean that Schumacher was not called in first?
  • In the meantime, Ralf Schumacher passed Frentzen for fifth after a short duel on lap 24, and four laps later overtook Häkkinen for fifth. — Something is off here: if he passed Frentzen for fifth, than it seems he would be in fourth after overtaking Häkkinen.
  • Coulthard reduced the deficit to Barrichello by 4.5 seconds — He took 4.5 seconds off the deficit, or he cut the deficit to 4.5 seconds?
  • but emitted a large amount of carbon brake dust each time he braked into the heavy braking zones — Did this affect his performance at all?

Post-race

  • What's a pace advantage?
  • they also had an extraordinary pitstop when the safety car was out — So was the 72-second stop actually not that big of a deal, because of the timing?
    • Reworded the sentence MWright96 (talk) 08:39, 5 April 2020 (UTC)Reply
      • The problem isn't so much this sentence—which now has a grammatical issue ("and slow pit stop under safety car conditions")—but the fact that the article treats the slow stop inconsistently. In "Race," it sounds like a big deal; the image caption even suggests that the 72-second pit stop was the reason for Barrichello finishing second. But then it turns out that Schumacher also had a 72-second pit stop, and then in "Post-race," we find out that this pit stop (if unfortunate) wasn't that big of a deal, because it happened while the safety car was out, so the lost time was minimized.
  • Fisichella immediately apologised to the Benetton team over the radio for missing his starting position that led to the start being aborted. — "immediately" meaning right after he missed his position, or meaning immediately upon finishing the race? Also, were there any negative repercussions for the mistake besides embarrassment?

Overall