Talk:2007 Monte Carlo Rally

GA Review

This review is transcluded from Talk:2007 Monte Carlo Rally/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Lemonade51 (talk · contribs) 15:17, 29 May 2012 (UTC)

I will be working my way through the article and adding any queries where I see fit. Feel free to make corrections, or correct me as I go along.

General

• No problems with the reliability of sources.
• No problems with imaging.
• No dab links. One external link is dead.
• Ref 70, 71 and 72 must be formatted correctly.
• Is it acceptable to use a YouTube video as a reference, going by WP:YT?

Lead

• As a generalised point and reminder, the lead should act as a summary for the entire article.
• "75e Rallye Automobile Monte-Carlo", it was the 75th (soixante-quinzième) edition? Can be included in the lead, somewhere in the first paragraph.
• "and based out of Valence, Drôme, France", is 'based out of' encyclopedic? I take it is a Rally term that many, like yourself might be familiar with. The reader may get the impression that the rally was located somewhere other than in Valence. Perhaps you could say 'hosted in' or something similar?
• 'All-new' can be hyphenated, but in this case it does not need to be.
• "...and from thereon became uncatchable", how about using the word 'unattainable'?
• "Each stage on the first two Legs were won by either Loeb or Sordo, and it wasn't until Saturday afternoon on the second run of the day's stages, that other drivers could effectively challenge them.", some issues with the following sentence and it could be rephrased. Is 'Legs' meant to be stylized like with a capital letter? Try to avoid contractions, so 'Wasn't' → 'was not'. The first part of the sentence, "were won by either Loeb or Sordo", could be changed to "were won by Loeb and Sordo respectively; it was not until Saturday...".
• "Also returning to the rally" → "The 2007 Monte Carlo Rally marked the return of the nighttime stages"
• "Loeb's win was his fourth at Monte Carlo and twenty-ninth in WRC and the sixth time that he had achieved a podium position there...", can be broken down into two sentences. So "Loeb's win was his fourth at Monte Carlo and twenty-ninth in WRC. It was the sixth time that he..."

Background

• "With pressure from the president of Fédération Française du Sport Automobile...", name of the president?
• Is 'Special Stages' correctly stylized?
• Should 'burle' be italicized? As it linked to the French Wikipedia, you could in brackets describe what it is. So burle (freezing wind, blowing from the north)
• Where is the ref for Sébastien Loeb saying he was unhappy about the conditions?
• "(by 253 millimetres (10.0 inches) and 107 mm (4.2 in), respectively)", brackets within brackets is not encouraged per MOS:BRACKETS. I suggest you work it into the prose, brackets are fine for the inches.
• fine-tuned is hyphenated
• "The Focus had undergone its own developments during the winter break, too" → "The Focus, in addition had undergone its own developments during the winter break."
• Where is the ref for "His physiotherapists and consultants told him that because of the operations he had had on his arm, he should definitely have sat out the Monte Carlo Rally"?

Race

• Ref to back up "Many drivers were inexperienced with competitive night driving."?

Post race

• "Indeed, a car finishing in first and second place in its début rally was a rare event. The last time it had happened was 20 years ago in...", tad conversational tone? You could lose the first sentence and merge it with the second but it certainly needs some rephrasing.
• Where is the source for "The Technical Director of BP-Ford said, "Having Marcus finish behind Sordo is disappointing. Being behind Loeb is easier to understand, because I didn't expect the C4 to be any slower than the Xsara, and that car had a performance edge over us last year." " ?

Statistics

• What do the screwdriver and spanner symbols represent in the 'Stage No' row?

I will have another read once changes have been completed (hopefully later in the day). Otherwise, nice read and very comprehensive. -- Lemonade51 (talk) 23:08, 29 May 2012 (UTC)

Thanks for taking up the review on this.

I've fixed the dead EL and formatted the three references. I think the YouTube video is acceptable per WP:YT, given that that section of the guideline references WP:ELNEVER and WP:ELNO, which discusses copyrighted material improperly hosted at YT. http://www.wrc.com/ has a few small icons at the top of the page, two of those are to the WRC's YouTube pages, one to their channel, one their highlights shows. The YouTube link I used is to the officially hosted show.

Is there anything that the Lede is missing or does not summarise? It covers the winners, the length, the locations, the cars, the event's most notable drivers, the teams.. I don't know what else to include. Since the opening sentence says the rally is formally known as the 75e Rallye Automobile Monte-Carlo, is there a specific reason for stating a second time that it's the 75th edition? I changed "based out of" to "operated out of", though I think "based" is correct because like you said, the "rally base" is an official term. "Leg" is an official term and is usually capitalised. It is nearly synonymous with "day" (in fact the term was officially changed to "Day" for the 2008 season), but sometimes like in the Monte's case a Leg can occur over two days. I don't think saying "were won by Loeb and Sordo respectively" is correct. If you look at 2007 Monte Carlo Rally#Special stages you can see that isn't the case. Loeb won the 1st, 2nd, 4th, 6th and 8th stages, and Sordo won the 3rd, 5th and 7th stages. I could change it to "Each stage on the first two Legs were won by Loeb and Sordo" but that still doesn't sound right.

I don't think I have the FFSA president's name anywhere, not for 2007 at least. Special Stages usually is capitalised, and WP:Ety indicates that foreign words should indeed be italicised. Ref for Loeb and weather conditions added; parentheses have been removed; fine-tuned is hyphenated; the Focus sentence is rewritten. The ref for Loeb's physios is #27, at the end of the next sentence. It covers both, but do you think I should append it to both sentences?

No specific ref to back up nighttime inexperience. It's more a case of looking at their rally histories and seeing which ones did and didn't have night stages. I've removed it. Thanks so far. Matthewedwards (talk · contribs) 18:00, 29 May 2012 (UTC)

I had to undo this edit you made, because the word is "recce" (short for reconnaissance), and not "race" Matthewedwards (talk · contribs) 18:08, 29 May 2012 (UTC)

My mistake! -- Lemonade51 (talk) 23:08, 29 May 2012 (UTC)

I fixed the two issues in Post race. The spanner and screwdriver are used to show that it isn't a Special Stage, but "Service Park", a set time period for teams to make repairs to the cars. The clocks are to represent "Park Ferme" (closed park) which occurs at the end of each day, where all cars are parked and stored overnight and it is illegal to enter the area for any reason. They're both official rally terms, and I wanted to make sure that the reader understood that they were not Special Stages. I think I've addressed everything so far or explained why I haven't. Thanks again, Matthewedwards (talk · contribs) 04:35, 3 June 2012 (UTC)