Talk:2008 Summer Olympics/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Resolute (talk · contribs) 17:25, 7 November 2012 (UTC)

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

1. It is reasonably well written.

   a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):

2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.

   a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):

3. It is broad in its coverage.

   a (major aspects): b (focused):

4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.

   Fair representation without bias:

5. It is stable.

   No edit wars, etc.:

6. It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.

   a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):

7. Overall:

   Pass/Fail:

General

• Images are fine. Most are licensed freely, two have valid FU claims.
  • It is not a requirement for GA, but alternative text is recommended

• Sources all appear reliable, and there is a good mix of sources around the world.
  • Refs 15 (ndtv.com), 70 (olympic.org), 62 (thrfeed.org), 89 (teamusa.org) and the external link to issuelab.org are all dead.
    • So is ref 69, even though it didn't show up in the checklinks report. I would probably take a look at all olympic.org links that don't have a webcite archive and search for replacements as needed.
  • Spotcheck of several references reveals no issue with close paraphrasing
  • Ref 28 does not support the claim regarding the free Tibet banners.
  • Ref 44 supports all claims, except that the torch could stay lit in temperatures as cold as -40c. Please find a source that supports the temperature or remove.
  • I checked about 30 references, and found no issues with the rest. Will likely check more as I do a read through of the prose.

• The number of Olympic and world records, and Phelps' performance is mentioned in the lead, but not in the body. This strikes me as a rather glaring omission. I would suggest adding a short paragraph of key individual results into the "medal count" section or as its own sub-section near there.

• Small nitpick: Given the Month-day-year date format, you should be adding commas after the years. e.g.: "...August 8, 2008, in the Beijing National Stadium".

That is it for a start. Though there are some concerns, I think all are easily fixable at this point. I will continue with a review of the prose, hopefully later today. Regards, Resolute 17:25, 7 November 2012 (UTC)

Ok, prose...

Lead

• "...and these Olympics had the largest television audience in Olympic history." - Is this still accurate after the London Games?
• "There were 43 new world records and 132 new Olympic records set..." - Remove both usages of "new". It is a given that any record set is a new record.
• "...Olympics and for most career gold medals for an Olympian by winning eight swimming events." - Remove "for an Olympian", it's redundant.

Marketing

• The paragraph on the motto is a little disjointed. It starts with the unveiling and an explanation, then the Tibetan protest, then back to explaining it. I would suggest moving the protest parts to the end of the paragraph, and perhaps break the mascots and pictograms into their own paragraph.

Torch relay

• The second, third and fourth paragraphs of this section need better organization. It goes from the relay to a random Tibetan protest to the relay to the conclusion that it was a "PR disaster" back to the relay, to another protest and again the relay. Since the protests were on the international part of the relay, I would open with the domestic journey in one paragraph, then the international journey with the protest, and finally the consequences of the protests.

Opening ceremony

• Should include the time zone as part of the 8:00 PM start time. (as is done in the closing ceremony section)
• "The opening ceremony was lauded by spectators and various international presses as spectacular and spellbinding." - since you are quoting other sources, "spectacular" and "spellbinding" should be in quotes.

Medal count

• "Athletes from China won 51 gold medals, the most of any nation at these Olympics, becoming the first nation other than the United States and Russia (Soviet Union) to do so since the 1936 Summer Olympics." - To do what, lead in gold medals? Also, I would break this sentence into two: "Athletes from China won 51 gold medals, the most of any nation at these Olympics. China became the first nation other than the United States and Russia (Soviet Union) to lead in gold medals since <country> in 1936."
• The use of "athletes", especially to begin sentences, is quite repetitive. Can you reword some of this to add variety to the prose?
• (added Dec 3) "In the uneven bars final, Chinese gymnast He Kexin and American Nastia Liukin tied with final marks of 16.725, and earned identical A and B-panel scores of 7.70 and 9.025, respectively. The gold medal was awarded to He and the silver to Liukin due to recent rules changes in the tie-breaking system." - needs a source. Also, "recent" is a temporal statement that should be avoided. I would just say "...due to changes in the tie-breaking system made prior to the Games."

Participation

• "China and the United States had the largest teams, with 639 for China and 596 for the United States." - In this case, you need to specify that it was "639 athletes for China and 596 for the United States."

National participation changes

• The paragraph on Irag is written in proseline. I would suggest rewording the start of the second paragraph: "The IOC reversed its decision five days later and allowed the nation to compete..."

Legacy

• "... (though Sweden's Ara Abrahamian tossed his bronze medal in disgust over judging)..." - It would help to know what sport Abrahamian participated in.
• "The Olympics seem to have also bolstered some domestic support for the Chinese government..." - Seem to have? Some? Can this be stated more definitively? Same with the rest of this paragraph. It feels somewhat like an editorial.

Overall

• Looks good overall. Some small prose concerns, and some references needing to be updated, and I think this article will be there. Accordingly, I am placing on hold for the time being. Regards, Resolute 02:37, 8 November 2012 (UTC)

I've cleared up two of the three Lead issues and will probably be able to do much more tomorrow night. Thanks for starting the review! Evanh2008 ^{(talk|contribs)} 09:45, 22 November 2012 (UTC)

The Opening ceremony, Participation, National participation changes, Legacy, and Lead sections are all taken care of. I will conclude revisions tomorrow or Monday. Thanks for your patience, and my apologies for taking so long. Evanh2008 ^{(talk|contribs)} 09:25, 25 November 2012 (UTC)

Mostly there. I think all I have outstanding now is the medal count section. Also, current reference 64 (The Live Feed) is dead. But we're almost there! Cheers, Resolute 03:24, 4 December 2012 (UTC)

Date formats are all now consistent, and the ref is fixed. We are now down to two sentences beginning with "athletes", and I could easily get it down to just one, if you prefer. I am working on finding a source for the gymnast thing, and will have alternative text within the next few days, as well as key results for the article body. Evanh2008 ^{(talk|contribs)} 11:08, 12 December 2012 (UTC)

Sorry to have left this hanging for so long. I will be back this week to finish up. Ta! Evanh2008 ^{(talk|contribs)} 03:04, 31 December 2012 (UTC)

I think I've implemented all the above suggestions. If I've missed anything, or if you think anything could be done a little better, just let me know. Thanks! Evanh2008 ^{(talk|contribs)} 04:52, 7 January 2013 (UTC)

Ok, that looks better. I think there could be room to add more info on various important medalists, but I might consider that a one difference between GA and FA. All of my original comments are resolved, however User:MOTORAL1987 has begun to add a table listing participating nations by number of athletes at 2008 Summer Olympics#Number of Athletes by National Olympic Committees but that remains incomplete. I would suggest working with them to either complete or replace/remove the table, at which point I will pass the article. Cheers! Resolute 16:14, 9 January 2013 (UTC)

I've gone ahead and just hidden it for now. I'm not sure what direction that table will take, but that is a discussion for the Olympics project members. With that, I have no further objections, and am promoting this article. Cheers! Resolute 23:33, 13 January 2013 (UTC)

• Comment - The lead contradicts the infobox as per the number of atheletes.--Gilderien Chat|List of good deeds 02:00, 31 December 2012 (UTC)

Fixed. Thanks for pointing that out! Evanh2008 ^{(talk|contribs)} 01:54, 5 January 2013 (UTC)