Talk:2009 Lenox Industrial Tools 301/GA1

Latest comment: 4 years ago by MrLinkinPark333 in topic GA Review

GA Review

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Reviewing

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Reviewer: MrLinkinPark333 (talk · contribs) 23:00, 17 December 2019 (UTC)Reply


Hello. Thought I review this one to cut down the unreviewed backlog of sports noms while also keeping in mind that'd you're currently second with outstanding noms. If you have any comments/concerns, feel free to ping me here.

Lead

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p1  Y

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p2  Y

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p3  Y

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Infobox  Y

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Background

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P1  Y

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P2  Y

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P3  Y

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P4  Y

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Practice and qualifying

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P1  Y

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P2  Y

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P3  Y

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Classification (Qualifying)  Y

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  • Neither source has the team names for the drivers. New/another source needed. Y
  • For some reason, NASCAR has an extra 1 in the car numbers for Gilliland, Nemechek and Christopher. Perhaps another source that solves above can solve this issue. Y

Classification (Race)  Y

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Standings after the race  Y

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--MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 23:00, 17 December 2019 (UTC)Reply

Section break

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Race, Post-race, and lead sections review to come. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 21:35, 21 December 2019 (UTC)Reply

Images / captions  Y

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Race

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P1  Y

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  • "The winner of a sponsored sweepstakes competition Pete Dingeman" - Jayski doesn't mention it was a sweepstakes, but the lap-by-lap NASCAR source one does mention it. I suggest citation bundling. Y
  • "NASCAR announced that a competition caution would take place on lap 35 due to the forecasted rain, requiring drivers to undertake mandatory pit stops for tire wear analysis." - Speedway doesn't state that the competition caution was specified by NASCAR, nor what drivers would do during that caution. Y
  • "No driver fell to the rear of the field during the pace laps." - MSN Fox Sports doesn't mention pace laps, but "for the start of today's race." Slight rewording I think would be needed. Y

P2  Y

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  • "Jeff Gordon passed Stewart to the right at the first turn." - based on NASCAR and Speedway, Gordon was on the outside when he passed Stewart on turn two. Slight tweaks needed.  Note: see next point. Y
  • "Stewart lost two further places when Kurt Busch and Newman passed him further on in the lap." - None of these sources state Newman passed Stewart in the 1st lap, and only has Busch passing for second. Speedway does state Stewart dropped to fourth in the 1st lap. Y
  • "as Biffle took fifth place from Stewart" - not verified. The closest I could find was NASCAR saying Stewart dropped to fifth at the 2nd lap. Y
  • "Johnson and Edwards moved past Stewart for sixth and seventh at the end of lap three." - no mention of Johnson passing Stewart, nor Johnson's position on lap three in all 3 sources.  Note: see below section. Y
  • "Biffle took third from Newman at the start of lap four," - Fox Sports doesn't have who Biffle passed to take third, nor specify it was the start of the 4th lap. However, it does confirm his third place position was at lap four.  Note: see below section. Y
    • "as Kurt Busch continued his attempts to get ahead of Gordon by taking the inside line." - NASCAR and Speedway don't specify "the inside line" part. Also, this was during lap 5, not 4. Y
  • "Kyle Busch fell to tenth when Kenseth and Montoya passed him on lap six" - none of this is verified by the given sources.  Note: see below section. Y
  • "Kurt Busch overtook Jeff Gordon at the entry of the first turn" - FOX Sports doesn't have the "the entry" part, but does have the first turn part. Y
  • "After starting in seventh, Hamlin fell to fourteenth by lap eleven." - none of the sentence is verified. Y
  • "On lap 16, a broken brake line sent Patrick Carpentier into a right-hand side wall at turn four, causing the first caution." - sources aren't specific that it was a broken brake line that sent Carpentier into the wall. As Fox Sports mentions the broken line afterwards (lap 33), I think the broken brake line should come after he hit the wall. As for the wall, it was indeed at turn four, but it's not mentioned if it was right-hand / left-hand side. Y

Racing production video points  Y

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P3  Y

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P4  Y

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Section break before P5-P8  Y

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P5  Y

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P6  Y

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P7  Y

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  • "Jeff Gordon held the first position from Stewart into turn one at the 196th lap restart. "from Stewart into turn one" is too much detailed and not verified. As the next sentence states that Stewart took the lead back in turn 2 that same lap, there'd be no information missing. Y
  • "took the eighth position from Earnhardt with a successful pass." - "with a successful pass" doesn't sound netural. Y
  • "By lap 218, Stewart's lead had eroded and Jeff Gordon was close behind." - I don't think "eroded" is the right word here. I think another word would be better. Y
  • "Stewart responded to increase his advantage to 1.1 seconds nine laps later." - none of the sources says Stewart "responded" to Gordon being right behind him. I suggest dropping "responded" and swapping "to increase" -> increased. Y
  • "One of Stewart's crew members dropped a lug nut for the right-front wheel and Stewart lost the lead" - this one I think is out of place. As Martin was in the lead with Stewart pitted (235), the dropped lug nut didn't cause Stewart to lose the lead. Stewart also didn't regain the lead after, as Biffle took the race lead after Martin pitted (237).  Note: see next point.
  • "before making his own stop, promoting Newman to first place, who stayed out because his team believed rain would fall." - I think this should be two sentences to avoid a comma splice. Y
  • " who stayed out because his team believed rain would fall." - yep, but this was only in effect at lap 258, not during his lap lead from 238 to 247. Y
  • "Five laps later, Newman was low on fuel, necessitating a pit stop." -> Four laps later, not five (i checked the racing production as there was conflicting lap numbers with the sources). Lap-by-lap verifies it was lap 263. Y
  • "Labonte led laps 238 to 247 before he stopped," -> Labonte led laps 238 to 247 before he stopped before he made his pit stop (as stopped to me doesn't sound the same as pit stop). --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 18:36, 25 December 2019 (UTC) YReply

p8  Y

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Post-race

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p1 and quotebox  Y

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p2  Y

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p3  Y

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p4  Y

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Extra stuff i missed earlier  Y

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Overall

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@MWright96: With the remaining sections (race/post-race/lead), there's a bit of work to be done. Some of these sections are quick fixes and others have a lot of stuff (specifically parts of the race section). Generally, there are some prose issues with wording/grammar, some neturality issues, some not verified info and a bit of out of scope info. As you've worked on most of the article already, I'm willing to place this article on hold for a week. If you require some more time (as it's the holidays), let me know. I also have to review P1-4 of the race section that you already went through. If I have any more comments in regards to those parts, I'll let you know. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 02:59, 24 December 2019 (UTC)Reply

@MWright96: You're all set to go! Well done! --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 21:32, 26 December 2019 (UTC)Reply