Talk:2012 Quicken Loans 400/GA1

Latest comment: 5 years ago by Kosack in topic GA Review

GA Review

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Reviewer: Kosack (talk · contribs) 08:01, 19 August 2019 (UTC)Reply


I'll take this one, will post review as soon as possible. Kosack (talk) 08:01, 19 August 2019 (UTC)Reply

Initial review

Lead

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  • "Biffle regained the lead on lap 54 but Ambrose passed him to move back into it fifteen laps later", could probably drop "to move back into it" and replace with just again. The current wording is slightly clunky.
  • "23 lead changes among different 14 drivers", doesn't quite make sense.
  • "attracted 5,284,000 million", you don't need million after the number.

Background

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  • "The 2012 Quicken Loans 400 was 15th of 36", should it be the 15th of 36?

Practice and qualifying

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  • "Martin was fastest with a lap time of 35.754", add seconds after his time.
  • "due to a different handling car", web archive isn't working right now so I can't open the ref to check but is different the correct word here? It sounds slightly odd in the context.

Race

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  • "Logano moved into the third position by the 21st lap", given the tense I think it should be Logano had moved...
  • "Ambrose won the race off pit road", what does this mean?
  • "Bowyer was passed by Bowyer." Doubled up here.

Post-race

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  • "four years ago, Today, this is the worst feeling", today is oddly capitalised here. Is it a typo or is the previous comma a mistake?
  • "and Los Angeles Times driver Jim Peltz", driver?
  • "improved momentum and better focus than previously", I don't think this sentence quite works.

I'm having a little trouble with Web Archive right now so I'll give the refs a run through later today but they all seem correctly formatted. A few minor issues I found are listed above, placed on hold for now. Kosack (talk) 09:18, 19 August 2019 (UTC)Reply