Talk:2016–17 Formula E Championship/GA1
Latest comment: 5 years ago by Disc Wheel in topic GA Review
GA Review
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Reviewer: Disc Wheel (talk · contribs) 03:31, 8 November 2019 (UTC)
Will review this shortly. Disc Wheel (T + C) 03:31, 8 November 2019 (UTC)
Recommended fixes
Lead:
- Remove "Sébastien Buemi was the defending Drivers' Champion after securing his first title at the 2016 London ePrix. His team, Renault e.Dams, began the season as the defending Teams' Champion, having clinched its second consecutive accolade at the same event." ---- This should be listed for the previous years article only.
Team Changes:
- "Likewise, shortly before the season commenced,Andretti announced a two-year technical partnership with BMW, " --- As you lead off the paragraph saying the following changes happened before the season began, I don't think the part I italicized is necessary
Joining Forumla E and changing teams
- ... "Bruno Senna, who elected to focus primarily on the World Endurance Championship in 2017..." remove the primarily
- "... and it was later confirmed to the press on 4 July that he left the team" ---> change to: "it was announced he had left the team on July 4."
- "..; a list of potential drivers circulated in the press." delete
New and returning races
- "In October 2015" --- comma after the 2015
- "was dropped because of a clashing event" --- what event?
- Have now clarified. MWright96 (talk) 07:58, 8 November 2019 (UTC)
Pre-season
- "Sébastien Buemi was the defending Drivers' Champion after securing his first title at the 2016 London ePrix. His team, Renault e.Dams, began the season as the defending Teams' Champion, having clinched their second consecutive accolade at the same event." Again, don't see why this is necessary unless their winning it plays a role in this season somehow; you also mention Renault as the two consecutive team winner earlier in the article; maybe just mention later in that paragraph --> "Reigning champion Sebastien Buemi and Vergne were the two fastest overall drivers..."
Round 1 "The season began in Hong Kong.[29] Qualifying was shortened due to multiple crashes causing several stoppages" ---> change to "The season's opening race (or season opener) in Hong Kong had its qualifying shortened....."
Rounds 11&12 First Race
- "A heavy shunt" --> could you elaborate on what a shunt is here or link something? I don't quite follow racing so I am a little clueless here
- Clarified. MWright96 (talk) 07:58, 8 November 2019 (UTC)
Good work! Disc Wheel (T + C) 04:46, 8 November 2019 (UTC)
- @Disc Wheel: Have made all of the edits requested. MWright96 (talk) 07:58, 8 November 2019 (UTC)
- Perfect, passed my man Disc Wheel (T + C) 13:48, 8 November 2019 (UTC)