Talk:2017 Montreal ePrix/GA1
Latest comment: 6 years ago by Courcelles in topic GA Review
GA Review
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Reviewer: Courcelles (talk · contribs) 02:05, 10 May 2018 (UTC)
To do... tomorrow. Courcelles (talk) 02:05, 10 May 2018 (UTC)
- The lead should mention that Formula E is for electric cars.
- "A maximum of fifty-nine points were available for the final ePrix which meant Buemi could still win the title if di Grassi won both races and Buemi took two pole positions and finished second twice" But Buemi is already in the lead, he shouldn't need such a convoluted victory condition, right?
- "following an collision the barriers lining the track." missing a word here.
- "During the session where di Grassi and Adam Carroll skidded under braking on the dusty surface and slid into the track's run-off areas,[24] Sarrazin stopped at the pit lane exit but restarted his car without external aid." You've got two thoughts, jammed into one poorly-executed sentence, I'm afraid.
- "and the starting order was determined by the competitor's fastest times." During the SuperPole session, or during any of their laps during Qualifying?
- "Although he had minor oversteer moments which cost him time Prost secured fourth." Work into the prior sentence.
- Isn't Eastern Daylight Time UTC-4?
- "Meanwhile, Duval recorded the race's fastest lap on lap 19."? Huh, when did the full-course yellow end?
- Maybe it's here, but when did de Grassi make his pit stop in the first race?
- "his first in Montreal" Obvious, given it was the first Montreal race...?
- Is "and exercise what the driver could do to motivate everybody that person is surrounded by for the season's remaining races," a quote, because I'm not sure about the phrasing.
Intermediate save.
- " In the third practice session" Wouldn't that be the first or the early session? Unless you're counting the entire weekend to get to three?
- "After second practice ended" Either it is the fourth overall, or the second (of the 2nd race) but it can't be both.
- "and had to regain control of his car." This sentence is missing something.
- "front row Bird who" by Bird.
- "and appeared to go fastest by improving on his in the first sector but drifted in turn seven and voiced his disappointment over the radio. " Just an awkward sentence
- "causing his right rear" Unclear who "his" is, even in context.
- " to secure the Teams' Championship or consolidate Buemi's hold on the driver's title." But Buemi doesn't have the lead anymore after race 1, does he?
- In the lead, the link to Montreal ePrix njust comes back here. Also the lead could say first and only running of the race...?
On hold. Courcelles (talk) 16:45, 10 May 2018 (UTC)
- @Courcelles: Hopefully the edits I've made are sufficient enough for a good improvement to this article. MWright96 (talk) 19:11, 10 May 2018 (UTC)
- Everything looks good to me now, promoting. Courcelles (talk) 20:43, 10 May 2018 (UTC)