Talk:2018 New York City ePrix/GA1
Latest comment: 5 years ago by Kosack in topic GA Review
GA Review
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Reviewer: Kosack (talk · contribs) 16:59, 4 May 2019 (UTC)
I'll take this one as well, will post review as soon as possible. Kosack (talk) 16:59, 4 May 2019 (UTC)
Initial review
Lead
edit- "He lost the first position to Abt on the fifth lap", you obviously know much more about racing intracies than me so I may be wrong but should it be simply "lost first position"?
Background
edit- "His nearest rival in the championship was Virgin's Sam Bird with 140 points and Audi driver Lucas di Grassi was third with 101 points", nearest rival suggests one but there's two listed. Rivals would work or drop one.
- He needed to win the race, and for Bird to place second, wouldn't it be irrelevant where Bird finished for Vergne to win the title by winning the race and gaining the additional point for the fastest lap?
- The layout of Brooklyn Street Circuit, should it be the Brooklyn Street Circuit? Again, this could be a racing term so I may be wrong.
Practice and qualifying (race one)
edit- went fastest a time of 1 minute and 13.207 seconds" > went fastest with a time...?
- The first two uses of super pole have capital letters but the rest don't?
Post race (race one)
edit- "Vergne dedicated first motor racing" > dedicated his first...
- "but we should a day later that it was water under the bridge", there seems to be a word missing from this quote but it is loyal to the source. Is there another possible source that would assist?
Practice and qualifying (race two)
edit- "as he begun his maximum power lap" > began?
- "on a out-lap", again could be raving terminology but should it be an out-lap?
- "after Piquet deranged his steering arm", is deranged the right word here?
Race (race two)
edit- "and the race began on schedule as spectators with team personnel allowed to return to the circuit", this sentence doesn't quite make sense.
- "to go to the inside of Buemi and out-braked him to take the lead" > out-brake?
- "Evans went to the inside of Rosenqvist going into turn six but the pass was blocked by Evans on the next lap", I'm assuming Evans was trying to overtake Rosenqvist but how can he block his own passing attempt? Plus a lap later seems a long time for him to need to block a pass.
References
edit- Seemingly no issues with the references. All formatted immaculately, working and support the information they are quoted.
Overall, this is a detailed and fine piece of work. A couple of minor points included above to iron out but nothing really significant. Placed on hold for now. Kosack (talk) 06:40, 5 May 2019 (UTC)
- @Kosack: All of the above queries have been addressed apart from the quote because there is no other source to assist with its development. MWright96 (talk) 08:53, 5 May 2019 (UTC)
- @MWright96: Nice work. It was more in hope than anything for a further source to fix the quote so, if there's no other option, we can't do much. Another fine article, well written, impressively detailed and adequately sourced. Promoting. Kosack (talk) 06:50, 6 May 2019 (UTC)