Talk:808s & Heartbreak/GA2

Latest comment: 12 years ago by Bruce Campbell in topic GA Review

GA Review

edit
GA toolbox
Reviewing

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: DAP388 (talk · contribs) 04:14, 24 July 2012 (UTC)Reply

Sorry for the late review. Let's get started, shall we? :)

Lead
  • "released November 24, 2008 on Roc-A-Fella Records in the United States." "On" should be changed to "by".
Done.
  • "Conceived in the wake of multiple events that distressed him in the previous year, the album marked a major musical departure for West from his previous work, lyrically, vocally, and production-wise." The comma between "comma" and "lyrically" is not needed.
Done.
  • "Despite a divided reaction from music audiences towards West's stylistic change," I think "varying responses" would be better in this instance.
Done.
Background
  • "Months later, West and fiancée Alexis Phifer ended their engagement and their long-term on-off relationship, which had begun in 2002." "On-off" should be changed to "intermittent".
Done.
Recording
  • "Towards this end, West enlisted T-Pain for coaching on how to utilize the technology." "This" should be changed to "the".
Done.
  • "West himself openly stated that he loves using Auto-Tune and is dismayed that the term has been commonly associated with being "wack"." "Loves" and "is" should reflect a past tense, since he already stated his opinion.
Done.
Composition
  • No issues.
Release and promotion
  • No issues.
Initial reaction
  • No issues.
Commercial performance
  • No issues.
Critical response
  • "and dubbed it West's "superstar-freakout album: his Low, his Trans, his Kid A. The one where he decides that frozen remoteness is the only thing that makes sense". Add an "as" between "it" and "West's".
Done. But I will undo per Dan's comment.
Legacy and influence
  • "Jake Paine of HipHopDX dubbed the album "our Chronic"," Same issues as the one above. Add an "as" between "album" and "our".
Done.
  • "Todd Martens of the Los Angeles Times has cited 808s & Heartbreak as "the template [...] for essentially the entirety of Drake's young career", and that wrote that Drake "shares West’s love for mood and never-ending existential analysis"." Removed the "has".
Done.

That's all. Oh hold until these issues are resolved. —DAP388 (talk) 17:55, 28 July 2012 (UTC)Reply

Since I contributed to the article as well, particularly the critical response and legacy sections, I thought I'd comment: "dub" usually isnt followed w/"as"; correct as is (examples). Dan56 (talk) 23:11, 28 July 2012 (UTC)Reply

I believe I have addressed all of DAP388's concerns on the article. Bruce Campbell (talk) 23:35, 28 July 2012 (UTC)Reply

Looks good. Happy to pass this article. —DAP388 (talk) 04:02, 29 July 2012 (UTC)