Talk:A Black Mile to the Surface/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 16:42, 14 March 2021 (UTC)

Good Article review progress box

Criteria: 1a. prose () 1b. MoS () 2a. ref layout () 2b. cites WP:RS () 2c. no WP:OR () 2d. no WP:CV () 3a. broadness () 3b. focus () 4. neutral () 5. stable () 6a. free or tagged images () 6b. pics relevant () Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed

I will take this on soon, after your great review of "Welcome to Heartbreak"! --K. Peake 16:42, 14 March 2021 (UTC)

Infobox and lead

• Replace hlist with bullet points per Template:Infobox album
• Remove the plural of studio from any in the parameter since that is not supposed to be added in infobox
• Remove wikilink on Favorite Gentlemen
• Remove wikilink on studio album because it's too obvious
• "released on July 27, 2017," → "released on July 21, 2017,"
• "beginning in the summer of 2016" → "from the summer of 2016 onwards"
• "The lead-off single," → "The lead single," with the wikilink
• Target singles to Single (music)
• "and "The Moth," were released ahead..." → "and "The Moth", were released later in the summer." because the commercial info doesn't belong here
• Remove the introductions to who Andy Hull and Robert McDowell are because you've done that in the body
• "that was far different from previous releases" → "that was a reset from the band's previous studio albums," plus mention the two were from 2014
• "The resulting album is" → "A Black Mile to the Surface is" because the link is not directly sourced
• Remove the term "influenced", as those are directly sourced as genres
• Add a sentence about the album's critical reception, followed by one about the commercial side
  •  Done all of the above. Kncny11 ^(shoot) 16:31, 16 March 2021 (UTC)

Background and production

• "of those two albums," → "of the two albums,"
• "inspired the band's" → "inspired Manchester Orchestra's"
• Add a bit more from the reset para that is quoted, but not too much to avoid WP:OVERQUOTE
• Punctuation should not be inside the speech marks for the song titles
• "actually commit to it.'"" → "actually commit to it'"." per MOS:QUOTE
• "over a period of" → "over periods of" for accurate representation
• "Hull says that" → "Hull said that"
• ""one final push" that perfected" → ""one [final] push" for" per parphrasing of "one more push"
• "Manchester Orchestra recorded the album" → "Manchester Orchestra recorded A Black Mile to the Surface"
• "indie rock producers,"" → "indie rock producers"," with the wikilink
• "Marks describes the" → "Marks described the"
• "The band traveled to" → "Manchester Orchestra traveled to"
• "at home in" → "at their headquarters in"

 Done all of the above Kncny11 ^(shoot) 16:47, 16 March 2021 (UTC)

Themes and composition

• Retitle to Composition and themes per order
• The alternative rock genre is not backed up, per the source: "For a band as consistent in the alt-rock realm as Manchester Orchestra, a reinvention like this can be a gamble." The quote only calls the band alt-rock.
  • PopMatters filed it under both indie and alternative rock, so I used that source for both
• [15][14] only the latter should be kept here since [15] is invoked later in the sentence too, plus [14] should only be here rather than earlier as well Kncny11 ^(shoot) 16:31, 16 March 2021 (UTC)
• [15][16] the latter should not be here because it's at the end of the sentence Kncny11 ^(shoot) 16:31, 16 March 2021 (UTC)
• Remove Pixies because the AllMusic source says the one song sound like them is the exception
• [17][16] put in numerical order
• The town being home of DUNE is not sourced
  • Removed the DUNE, left in SURF, which is mentioned by the source
• Commas should not be inside speech marks for the song titles
• "the first four tracks on the album "set a" → "the first four tracks set "a"
• "dark theme," the narrative part of the record" → "dark theme", the narrative part of A Black Mile to the Surface" per MOS:QUOTE
• ""try and do" → ""[t]ry and do" per the original's capitalisation
• "want to play."" → "want to play"."
• "Marks' vision for the record" → "Marks' vision for the album"
• "different rooms of the studio" → "different rooms of the studios"
• The acoustic effects part is unsourced
  • Changed it to "reverberations", per the source.
• "Penultimate track "The Parts,"" → "The penultimate track ,"The Parts","
• "in the studio's bathtub," → "in a studio's bathtub," per it not being known which studio
• "of the album is" → "of A Black Mile to the Surface is
• "insignificance of yourself."" → "insignificance of yourself"."
• "means that "[w]hen this" → "means: "When this"
• "The album's title, "A Black Mile to the Surface," derives" → "The title of the album derives" per the title already being mentioned in this para
• Wikilink "The Gold"
  •  Done all of the above. Kncny11 ^(shoot) 16:31, 16 March 2021 (UTC)

Release and promotion

• Concord Music Hall is not mentioned anywhere in this section, so either add a mention of it or reword the img text
• "by the album's first single," → "by the album's lead single," with the wikilink
• Remove wikilink on "The Gold"
• Pipe single to Single (music)
• Commas should not be inside speech marks for the song titles
• "was released two weeks later" → "was released 13 days later" per the source
• "on July 10." → "on July 10, 2017."
• "on July 21, 2017 through" → "on July 21, 2017, through"
• Remove comma after independent label
• "On June 12, only a few days after announcing their upcoming album," → "On June 12, 2017, only a few days after the album's announcement,"
• Lowercase the Front Bottoms per MOS:THEMUSIC
• "to celebrate the tenth anniversary of Mean Everything To Nothing." → "to celebrate Manchester Orchestra's 10th anniversary of Mean Everything to Nothing." per MOS:NUM
• "Black Mile chapter."" → "Black Mile chapter"." per MOS:QUOTE
  •  Done all of the above. Kncny11 ^(shoot) 16:31, 16 March 2021 (UTC)

Reception

Commercial performance

• Swap this sub-section with critical reception for the correct order
• "for the band." → "for Manchester Orchestra."
• "It debuted the album at #33 on the main" → "It debuted at number 33 on the US" but this sentence and the others are not backed up by the Billboard ref
• "also entered the Billboard Alternative Albums chart at number six," → "also entered at number six on the Billboard Alternative Albums chart,"
• "the Billboard Rock Albums chart at number seven" → "at number seven on the Billboard Rock Albums chart"
• Don't think the slight drop in success is really notable
• "peaked at #59 on" → "peaked at number 59 on"
• "#73 on the" → "number 73 on the"
• "and #93 on the United Kingdom charts." → "and number 93 on the United Kingdom chart."
• The above chart positions are not backed up; try to add ref names from the table to fix this
  •  Done rewrote the section a bit. Kncny11 ^(shoot) 16:47, 16 March 2021 (UTC)

Critical reception

• Italicise The A.V. Club, Pitchfork and PopMatters
• "was released to generally positive reviews" → "was met with generally positive reviews"
• Remove the indication part since you have already mentioned the reviews being generally positive
• "wrote that the band" → "wrote that Manchester Orchestra"
• Fix MOS:QUOTE issues throughout this section; remember that these do not apply to full sentences though
  • Only saw one I had to change.
• Wikilink acoustic guitars
• "... inviting comparisons" → "[...] inviting comparisons"
• Target samples to Sampling (music)
  •  Done all of the above. Kncny11 ^(shoot) 16:47, 16 March 2021 (UTC)

Track listing

• Add a source to verify this is the track listing
• See MOS:TABLECAPTION
  •  Done Kncny11 ^(shoot) 16:31, 16 March 2021 (UTC)

Personnel

• Pipe mastering to Mastering (audio)
  •  Done Kncny11 ^(shoot) 15:53, 16 March 2021 (UTC)

Charts

• See MOS:TABLECAPTION
  •  Done Kncny11 ^(shoot) 15:53, 16 March 2021 (UTC)

References

• Copyvio score looks fairly decent at 30.6%
• Top job with the archiving!
• Cite HMV as publisher instead for ref 7
• Cite Uproxx as publisher instead for ref 8
• Fix MOS:QWQ issues with refs 9 and 19
• MusicTech.net → MusicTech on ref 10
• Replace Noisey with Vice in the work parameter for ref 18, plus remove the publisher
• Paste Magazine → Paste on refs 21 and 23
• Remove the publisher from ref 22
• Cite NPR as publisher instead for ref 24
• Upset Magazine → Upset on ref 25
• Ref 31 is not needed and can be replaced with the chart history from the table using a ref name and/or a Billboard news article
• Cite Freitas after Ryan in the first name parameter for ref 35
  •  Done all of the above. Kncny11 ^(shoot) 16:47, 16 March 2021 (UTC)

Final comments and verdict

•  On hold until all of the issues are fixed, but don't feel afraid to ask me if you are confused about anything! --K. Peake 10:51, 15 March 2021 (UTC)

@Kyle Peake: I think everything has been addressed! If you've got a moment, I'd be very appreciative if you reviewed Painting of a Panic Attack, but no worries if not! Kncny11 ^(shoot) 16:47, 16 March 2021 (UTC)

@Kncny11: You have missed a number of MOS:QUOTE issues; to be specific, this refers to when a full sentence is not quoted and the punctuation is inside the speech marks, so examples where the end of the sentence is a quote like PopMatters need to be fixed. --K. Peake 19:04, 16 March 2021 (UTC)

@Kyle Peake: Those should also be fixed now. Apologies. Kncny11 ^(shoot) 19:12, 16 March 2021 (UTC)

@Kncny11: There are still a number of points where you have placed commas inside speech marks. --K. Peake 19:50, 16 March 2021 (UTC)

@Kyle Peake: Everything should be fixed now. Kncny11 ^(shoot) 19:57, 16 March 2021 (UTC)

@Kncny11: ✓ Pass now, congrats to your efforts even after I had to leave a few comments and do some copy editing after your initial response! --K. Peake 20:41, 16 March 2021 (UTC)