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Talk:A Change Is Gonna Come (Grey's Anatomy)/GA1

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Latest comment: 12 years ago by Jonathan Harold Koszeghi in topic GA Review

GA Review

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Latest comment: 12 years ago45 comments4 people in discussion
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Reviewer: TBrandley (talk · contribs) 23:04, 4 October 2012 (UTC)Reply

  Done : All issues have been adressed. I really believe you'll find the article as good as I do. Thank you very much for the thorough review! Jonathan Harold Koszeghi (talk) 15:04, 15 October 2012 (UTC)Reply
  • Comment: (I'm not the reviewer but I noticed a fairly significant problem): Using and citing only three reviews is too weak for a GA, and extrapolating from those that the "Critical response of the episode has been generally positive" is quite a stretch. TRLIJC19 (talk • contribs) 20:18, 5 October 2012 (UTC)Reply
  • "and the 62nd", the show's?
  • "Seattle, Washington" how about two separate links
  • BuddyTV and Cinema Blend should not be in italics.
  • The alt text of the images are not good. Alt text should summary the actual contents of the image, and not re-hash the image caption.
  • As Joey said, "Using and citing only three reviews is too weak for a GA, and extrapolating from those that the "Critical response of the episode has been generally positive" is quite a stretch." And, speaking of that, what statement is true, I removed one, but it did say "mixed to positive" then "mixed to negative" which? This is strange. It still says "Critical response of the episode ranged from mixed to negative" in the lede
  • "negative feedback from television reviews" reviews should be critics
  • Many references are missing their authors
  • TV.com and About.com are not a reliable sources
  • Double quotes (") should be single quotes (') in references, as per WP:MOS
  • Ref. 4, remove publisher from it, it is repetitive
  • Don't "shout" in reference titles, as seen in ref. 7, 9, etc.
  • Publisher problems with ref. 12, 14
  • Link IGN and News Corporation in reference

TBrandley 03:08, 10 October 2012 (UTC)Reply

Comments:

  • More comments to be addressed – I have some other issues that should be fixed before Tate lists the article.
    • "The premiere focused on the aftermath on of the main characters' promotion to residency, following the conclusion of their internship." -- Both "on" and "of" are said before "the main characters'". Only "of" should be used.
    • "The episode marked Chyler Leigh's promotion to series regular status, following her guest appearances in the last two episodes of the previous season." -- Link "previous season" to season three.
    • Only actors credited in the opening of the episode should be listed as "guest"; the ones credited at the end are not guest characters; they are background or minor.
    • "Arc" is not synonymous with "story arc". The former is defined as "A part of the circumference of a circle or other curve.", which is not the proper meaning. Please change all instances of "arc" to "story arc".
    • The apostrophe placement in this sentence: "dealing with the aftermath of Preston Burke (Isaiah Washington)'s departure" is problematic. It should be "Preston Burke's (Isaiah Washington)". I know it sounds weird, but it's the proper way; it was Burke's departure, not Washington's. There are a few more instances of this, so check very carefully.
    • The whole second paragraph is one sentence, and it's a giant run-on. Split it up into several different sentences.
    • "Ranking second in the time-slot and third in the week, the episode garnered a 7.3 Nielsen rating in the 18–49 demographic, seeing a decrease from the previous episode, which received a 8.0 rating." -- Third "for" the week, not "in". Also, it should say "an 8.0 rating", not "a". "8" starts with an A-sound, which is a vowel.
    • ""A Change Is Gonna Come" opens to a voice-over narrative from Meredith Grey (Ellen Pompeo) about change, a highly exploited theme in the episode." -- The additive "highly exploited" is original research.
    • "Following the conclusion of the internship, Meredith..." -- Don't you mean "their" internship? "The" is ambiguous.
    • "After failing his post-internship exam in the season three finale, George O'Malley (T.R. Knight) must repeat the internship..." -- Again, "his" internship, not "the".
    • "Stevens has to deal with her romantic feelings for O'Malley, whose marriage to Torres is being threatened by his yet unexposed affair." -- "Yet" is misplaced. Either erase it entirely, or write "yet to be exposed".
    • "O'Malley, who finds himself in the unpleasant situation of repeating the internship, quickly gains support in Lexie, who decides not to tell the fellow interns about his failed exam." -- Again with "his internship" not "the".
    • "Meredith and Derek discuss the repercussions of their breakup, and realize that they can not reconcile. However, the two engage into sexual intercourse, as a manner to express their mutual feelings for the last time." -- "Shepherd" not "Derek" (WP:SURNAME). Also, "cannot" is a compound word and shouldn't be separated, and it's "in sexual intercourse" not "into".
    • ""A Change Is Gonna Come" is the first episode not to feature Washington's character, Burke.[1] Washington was officially fired from the series, following an on-set incident with Knight and Dempsey, which had been in the media attention since the commencement of the production for the third season." -- The first "is" should be "was". Also, link season three.
    • "Following the exposure of the argument, Knight publicly disclosed his homosexuality, which led to Washington's issuing an apology statement, regarding his inappropriate use of words during the incident." -- "Washington" should not have an " 's ".
    • I don't know what you mean. It already does have the " 's ". Jonathan Harold Koszeghi (talk) 15:08, 11 October 2012 (UTC)Reply
    • "The controversy later resurfaced when the cast appeared the 65th Golden Globe Awards ceremony, which saw Washington ridiculing homosexuality during an interview, following the statement that denied the occurrence of an on-set incident." -- "Appeared at the GG awards", not "Appeared the GG awards".
    • "Leigh offered her insight on her first days working with the main cast of the series, "It was like coming into somebody else's group or circle. It was a little daunting in the beginning. But I have had such a great time." -- The comma before Leigh's quote should be a colon.
    • ""A Change Is Gonna Come" was the first episode in two years not to feature the character of Montgomery, due to her portrayer, Walsh, being released from her contract at the conclusion of season three, leaving the series in order to launch the Grey's Anatomy spin-off, medical drama Private Practice." -- A citation to the episode is not sufficient for that claim. The episode does not say that Walsh was released from her contract to launch PP.
    • "Regarding Meredith's arc, Rhimes felt that she can't deal with all that is expected of her in her relationship with Shepherd, choosing their genuine love as the greatest obstacle in their decision to break up." -- Unless part of a quote, contractions such as "can't" should be avoided. Check carefully for other occurrences.
    • "Rhimes disclosed that the concept for the plot point was to have the two characters go back to being freidns, as a result of Montgomery's departure." -- "Friends" is misspelled as "freidns".
    • "Rhimes offered her insight on Lexie's arrival, "Lexie Grey is here now. And she's here to stay. I love that she's a bit of a dork. Being a dork myself, I am fond of the girls with verbal diarrhea. Because it's not easy to keep all your words in, believe me."" -- Again, the comma before the quote should be a colon.
    • "Viewed by a total of 20.93 million viewers, the episode is the series' second most-watched season premiere, just behind the third season opener, which had been watched live by 25.41 million American viewers." -- Link the season three premiere to "third season opener".
    • "In comparison to the previous episode, which was watched by 22.57 million viewers, "A Change Is Gonna Come" made a 1.64% decrease in terms of viewership." -- Where do you get 1.64% from? It's 21%.
    • "However, the viewership of the episode second in both its time-slot and the entire night, being beaten out by its airtime rival, CSI: Crime Scene Investigation on CBS, which was watched by 25.22 million viewers." -- I believe you mean "ranked second". If anything else beat it out as well, please note.
    • ""A Change Is Gonna Come" garnered a 7.3 Nielsen rating in the 18–49 demographic, ranking second in its time-slot, and third in the week." -- What show beat it in the time-slot? Which two beat it in the week? These are things a reader will look for. Also, as I said above, "third for the week" not "in".
    • "Chang expressed disagreement with the manner Bailey and Shepherd's characters were dealt with by the writers, feeling that the former's anger should have been targeted as herself, and criticizing the exaggerated exposure of the latter's "first grader emotional maturity"." -- Do you mean "targeted at herself"?
    • "Writing for Cinema Blend, Kona Gallagher provided a contrast between this episode at the previous one, noting the ambiguity characteristic in the third season finale, in comparison to the clear storyline presented in "A Change Is Gonna Come"." -- "this episode and the previous one", not "at". Also, "the ambiguous characteristic" not "ambiguity".
    • In addition to these issues, the remaining ones above should be addressed.

TRLIJC19 (talk • contribs) 21:20, 10 October 2012 (UTC)Reply


Comment

  • reception" is now way too big as per WP:TVRECEPTION, you will have to find some things to cut out, as said there, "Reviews should be paraphrased as much as possible, with editors avoiding vague, non-descriptive claims about an episode (e.g. John Smith felt like Ray Romano was horrible in Everybody Loves Raymond's 50th episode.). Non-descriptive claims do not provide the reader with the context necessary to understand why the reviewer liked or disliked an episode. If a review only contains such claims, without providing any rationale and examples to back up their opinions, then the review, in most circumstances, should not be used in the article." Remember that this is a big concern that could lead me to failing the article if not addressed. TBrandley 14:58, 13 October 2012 (UTC)Reply
    • But wasn't the fact that there were few reviews a problem? Now there are seven cited reviews. Also, the guideline states that there should be about 3-4 sentences per critic, in order to avoid adding undue weight, and I respected that while working. Why do you think is it too big, considering that I have followed the "avoid adding undue weight" guideline? And could you please tell me what do you consider non-descriptive claims? This way I can remove them. Thank you for your concern, though. Unlike some reviewers, you strictly follow the GA criteria and I really really appreciate that. :) Jonathan Harold Koszeghi (talk) 15:06, 13 October 2012 (UTC)Reply

I do agree with all the remarks mentioned by TRLIJC19, Jonathan. The following terms are the ones mentioned above which should be unlinked: 'emergency room', 'contract', 'lawsuit', 'racism', 'broadcasting media'. I also think 'publicly disclosed' and 'homosexuality' could be unlinked too; everybody knows what homosexuality is. --Sofffie7 (talk) 20:07, 13 October 2012 (UTC)Reply

  Done

Another thing you still haven't changed is the ratings in the lead. Per other Grey's Anatomy articles that reached the GA status, the ratings in the lead should be brief, meaning you should not mention CSI; just how the episode ranked in the night/in the week. The details belong in the reception. --Sofffie7 (talk) 20:07, 13 October 2012 (UTC)Reply

  Done

Remaining issues

  • The song-title reference.
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