Talk:A Toast to Men/GA1

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

---

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Cartoon network freak (talk · contribs) 08:31, 10 June 2017 (UTC)

Lead

• a song from American singer → I think "by" sounds better here

• Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 15:43, 12 June 2017 (UTC)

• you should say here, as well as in the "Background" section that it fatured vocals from Lady Mary

• Added. Aoba47 (talk) 15:43, 12 June 2017 (UTC)

• Link "critics" to music journalism

• Added. Aoba47 (talk) 15:43, 12 June 2017 (UTC)

Infobox

• flawless ;)

• Thank you. Aoba47 (talk) 15:43, 12 June 2017 (UTC)

Background and composition

• behind the lyrics, she said → say "confessed" here to avoid word repetition

• Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 15:43, 12 June 2017 (UTC)

• and twelve seconds → 12 is above 10, so don't spell it out

• Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 15:43, 12 June 2017 (UTC)

Release and promotion

• was released as a digital download → replace "as a" with "for"

• Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 15:43, 12 June 2017 (UTC)

• The song was promoted → state "the track" here to avoid repeition

• Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 15:43, 12 June 2017 (UTC)

• sometime in the mid-2000s → this sounds very weird; if you don't have the exact date, I suggest removing this

• Removed. Aoba47 (talk) 15:43, 12 June 2017 (UTC)

• Link "radioplay" to airplay

• Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 15:43, 12 June 2017 (UTC)

• of IGN, the record was → "record" is generally only used for albums, so state "recording" here

• Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 15:43, 12 June 2017 (UTC)

Reception

• and "add[ed[ fuel → syntax error

• Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 15:43, 12 June 2017 (UTC)

• You can link the first paragraph with the second one if you like

• I would prefer to keep it separate as the first paragraph is covering the critical reception while the second one is covering commercial performance. Aoba47 (talk) 15:43, 12 June 2017 (UTC)

Formats and track listings

• You can remove "Formats and" to keep the section name simple

• Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 15:43, 12 June 2017 (UTC)

• EP → Digital EP

• If you look at the Amazon.com reference, then you will see that there was a CD single for the EP so "Digital EP" would not be an accurate title. Aoba47 (talk) 15:43, 12 June 2017 (UTC)

Credits and personnel

• flawless ;)

• Thank you. Aoba47 (talk) 15:43, 12 June 2017 (UTC)

Charts

• I fixed the table here

• Thank you. Aoba47 (talk) 15:43, 12 June 2017 (UTC)

Release history

• Fixed things here as well

• Thank you. Aoba47 (talk) 15:43, 12 June 2017 (UTC)

• Unlink formats please

• Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 15:43, 12 June 2017 (UTC)

Other stuff

Copy-violation

• 47.9%; maybe you can reword some things?

• Revised. Thank you for pointing this out. Hopefully this fixes it. Aoba47 (talk) 15:43, 12 June 2017 (UTC)

Links

• No problems here!

• Thank you. Aoba47 (talk) 15:43, 12 June 2017 (UTC)

References

• As far as I checked them, the references do cover the assertations made in this article
• No dead links! Good job!

• Thank you. Aoba47 (talk) 15:43, 12 June 2017 (UTC)

Outcome

Putting this  On hold for 7 days. Great job with the article; Cartoon network freak (talk) 12:34, 10 June 2017 (UTC)

• Thank you for the review. I will make the corrections on Monday if that is okay with you as I have a busy weekend. Aoba47 (talk) 15:57, 10 June 2017 (UTC)

• @Cartoon network freak: Thank you for your review. I believe that I have covered all of the points raised above. Let me know if there is anything else that I can do to improve the article. Thank you again. Aoba47 (talk) 15:43, 12 June 2017 (UTC)

• Passing this; congrats!! Best, Cartoon network freak (talk) 19:20, 12 June 2017 (UTC)

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.