Talk:Aaron Mooy/GA1

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: Lee Vilenski (talk · contribs) 11:52, 22 August 2023 (UTC)

Hello, I am planning on reviewing this article for GA Status, over the next couple of days. Thank you for nominating the article for GA status. I hope I will learn some new information, and that my feedback is helpful.

If nominators or editors could refrain from updating the particular section that I am updating until it is complete, I would appreciate it to remove a edit conflict. Please address concerns in the section that has been completed above (If I've raised concerns up to references, feel free to comment on things like the lede.)

I generally provide an overview of things I read through the article on a first glance. Then do a thorough sweep of the article after the feedback is addressed. After this, I will present the pass/failure. I may use strikethrough tags when concerns are met. Even if something is obvious why my concern is met, please leave a message as courtesy.

Best of luck! you can also use the {{done}} tag to state when something is addressed. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)}

Please let me know after the review is done, if you were happy with the review! Obviously this is regarding the article's quality, however, I want to be happy and civil to all, so let me know if I have done a good job, regardless of the article's outcome.

Links

Prose

Lede

• greatest player in recent decades - we should stay away from dateable statements - define "recent" Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 14:58, 22 August 2023 (UTC)

  @Lee Vilenski Just as in the last 10 - 30 years, he is considered to be the greatest but I am unsure if i should've added. JC Kotisow (talk) 21:07, 22 August 2023 (UTC)

  • • It's the word "recent" being the issue. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 21:43, 22 August 2023 (UTC)

      I think if just say "greatest player" without the "in recent decades" line, should it be fine then? JC Kotisow (talk) 22:14, 22 August 2023 (UTC)

• He was voted and named in the Socceroos Team of the Century - we haven't defined what the "socceroos" is, so we should just say Australia. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 14:58, 22 August 2023 (UTC)
• being a key part in their 8th historic treble - a bit overkill. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 14:58, 22 August 2023 (UTC)

  Changed Socceroos to Australia and removed historic so it just says 8th treble JC Kotisow (talk) 21:08, 22 August 2023 (UTC)

• Crazy this guy had only a 12 year career! Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 14:58, 22 August 2023 (UTC)

  Shame it ended so early but one of my favourite players. JC Kotisow (talk) 21:08, 22 August 2023 (UTC)

General

• Aaron Frank Mooy was born on 15 September 1990 in Sydney, Australia. - can we cite the DOB? Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 14:58, 22 August 2023 (UTC)

  Added link using [1] JC Kotisow (talk) 20:54, 22 August 2023 (UTC)

• I don't think we need to link countries like "Dutch" or "German". Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 14:58, 22 August 2023 (UTC)

  Removed link JC Kotisow (talk) 20:54, 22 August 2023 (UTC)

• (7 goals), Etihad Supporters’ Player - we don't need to include the sponsor Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 14:58, 22 August 2023 (UTC)
• the entire A-League - entire is unnecessary. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 14:58, 22 August 2023 (UTC)
• setting a new A-League record for City as the first club in A-League history to feature - this is a real bugbear of mine, but using the word "history" or "ever" when the sentence works fine without it is useless, or even mentioning "a new record", when the thing works fine on its own. Can easily just say "with City becoming the first A-League club to have three..." Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 14:58, 22 August 2023 (UTC)
• per year contract at China - he wasn't "at" China. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 14:58, 22 August 2023 (UTC)
• Australian-Dutch national - this is quite WP:EASTEREGGy, as the terms are for countries and the links are for teams. I don't think we need to link here at all. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 14:58, 22 August 2023 (UTC)
• calmness under pressure.[14][222][224][225] - WP:CITEKILL - or try WP:BUNDLING. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 14:58, 22 August 2023 (UTC)
• Mooy's impact on Huddersfield Town was further evident in the fans' affection for him. They dedicated a song to Mooy, adapted from the nursery rhyme "Polly Wolly Dolly," sung to the tune of Boney M's "Hooray! Hooray! It's a Holi-Holiday."[242] The lyrics are:

"Aaron Mooy, Aaron Mooy. Aaron, Aaron Mooy. He’s got no hair, but we don’t care. Aaron, Aaron Mooy"[243] - this being cited doesn't mean it is encylopedic content. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 14:58, 22 August 2023 (UTC)

• In the stats section, where is his Celtic and China stats cited too? Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 14:58, 22 August 2023 (UTC)

  @Lee Vilenski I added links from soccerway and gamebase. JC Kotisow (talk) 21:05, 22 August 2023 (UTC)

I just removed lyrics but kept the rest as well the citations JC Kotisow (talk) 21:04, 22 August 2023 (UTC)

Review meta comments

• I'll begin the review as soon as I can! If you fancy returning the favour, I have a list of nominations for review at WP:GAN and WP:FAC, respectively. I'd be very grateful if you were to complete one of these if you get time. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 11:52, 22 August 2023 (UTC)

Did you have any further replies JC Kotisow? Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 21:32, 29 August 2023 (UTC)

No, I took your suggestions and awaiting a response for one of my questions in regards to "greatest player in recent decades." JC Kotisow (talk) 21:51, 29 August 2023 (UTC)

@Lee Vilenski sorry to bother, im not sure if you got my message or not? JC Kotisow (talk) 06:31, 7 September 2023 (UTC)

Oh, yeah that was fine. I have no issue there. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 22:26, 10 September 2023 (UTC)

@Lee Vilenski Then I have no further questions. I look forward for your review. Cheers, JC Kotisow (talk) 01:24, 11 September 2023 (UTC)

@Lee Vilenski ? JC Kotisow (talk) 05:27, 19 September 2023 (UTC)

Hi JC Kotisow, did you cover the above points? Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 07:57, 18 October 2023 (UTC)

@Lee Vilenski Yes sorry, I haven't done the tag  Done but I have replied to your list saying I have completed the points you wrote. JC Kotisow (talk) 09:11, 18 October 2023 (UTC)

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.