Talk:Abd al-Malik ibn Marwan/GA1

Latest comment: 5 years ago by AhmadLX in topic GA Review

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Reviewer: AhmadLX (talk · contribs) 16:50, 18 March 2019 (UTC)Reply

Misc.

  • Lead says Abd al-Malik "was the sixth Umayyad caliph". This is imprecise. He was 5th Umayyad caliph, although 6th person from Banu Umayya to become one. When one says Umayyad caliph, it pertains to Umayyad caliphate, and Uthman was certainly no part of that.
Thanks for catching that oversight. Al Ameer (talk) 02:34, 21 March 2019 (UTC)Reply
  • Battle of Ayn al-Warda was fought in January 685. You have mentioned it to have occurred in May 686 based on Gibb (1960). Gibb doesn't name the battle, and the year he gives is 685.
Thanks for catching that. I had it removed entirely, its not pertinent to this article anyway. It is mentioned in several other relevant articles. —Al Ameer (talk) 23:26, 19 March 2019 (UTC)Reply
  • "ultimately secured the surrender and defection of Zufar and the Qays in return for privileged positions..." So far the article says that Qaysis were fighting out of their enmity with Kalbites. So "defection" sounds odd here. You might add before this, that Qaysis were allied with Mus'ab.
It is mentioned earlier in the article, in the Early life section where the Battle of Marj Rahit and its effects are briefly described. Al Ameer (talk) 02:34, 21 March 2019 (UTC)Reply
  • Section on defeat of Zubayrids has quite a detail, but it misses to mention why Iraqis were hostile towards Mus'ab.
I’ll try to fit in the reason why. I remember reading that the Kufans resented Musabs excessive measures against their fellow Kufans after he killed al-Mukhtar. Al Ameer (talk) 02:34, 21 March 2019 (UTC)Reply
  • "Abd al-Malik sent him reinforcements led by his mawlā (pl: mawālī), Tariq ibn Amr, who captured Medina from its Zubayrid governor." suggests ibn Amr was with Abd al-Malik and went to Medina after caliph ordered him. Source (Wellhausen) suggests ibn Amr was already in Medina. Caliph ordered him to aid Hajjaj in Mecca.
Yes, he was not with Abd al-Malik. The caliph wrote to him, according to al-Tabari, who also says Tariq was sent at the head of 5,000 Syrian troops. I believe he was dispatched from Basra where he briefly stood as governor in the wake of Musab’s death. Al Ameer (talk) 02:34, 21 March 2019 (UTC)Reply
  • Many dup-links. You can use this script to detect them.
Done. --Al Ameer (talk) 17:55, 25 March 2019 (UTC)Reply
  • Section "Consolidation in Iraq and the east" is excessively detailed. Can you shorten it a bit?
This section was much longer when I wrote it originally and I condensed it to only the important and relevant information. I've been re-reading it on different days, and I can't figure how to shorten it much without sacrificing necessary information, including context. The section does cover a period even longer than Abd al-Malik's war with the Zubayrids. --Al Ameer (talk) 17:55, 25 March 2019 (UTC)Reply
That is fine. This was only an optional thing. AhmadLX (talk) 19:11, 25 March 2019 (UTC)Reply

Sources

  • In Kennedy (2004) you have page numbers of third edition (2016).
  • "Both of his parents belonged to the Banu Umayya" is not in Kennedy p. 80. You may change it with Gibb or Ahmed.
  • Google Books link for Hawting (2000) should be changed to the one having preview.
  • "tribute of 365,000 gold coins, 1,000 slaves and 1,000 war horses" to Justinian II is not in Gibb (1976). It can be replaced with Blankinship (1994).
Done. Al Ameer (talk) 23:26, 19 March 2019 (UTC)Reply
  • " without disruptions to his lines of communication." This is close-paraphrasing from Kennedy 2004 p.84. You don't actually need that fragment. But can do with rephrasing.
Agree. Removed. —Al Ameer (talk) 14:59, 22 March 2019 (UTC)Reply
  • "appointed governors to Iraq's dependencies in Khurasan and further east" is not in Kennedy 2016 p. 84. Wellhausen 1927 would do.
Done Al Ameer (talk) 14:59, 22 March 2019 (UTC)Reply
  • Ref 55 Montefiore, Simon Sebag (2012) has no page number. Also, Google Books link should be changed to one with preview.
This was a holdover from the previous version of the article before I began work on it. I thought it was an interesting observation. However, the source is not a scholarly one and I’ve now removed it altogether. Al Ameer (talk) 14:59, 22 March 2019 (UTC)Reply
  • Ref 61 Elad, p. 331. should be in harv footnote like other instances of Elad 1999.
Done.
  • Elad 1999, p. 45. says it is unknown if Dome of Rock was finished in 692. You are citing it to assert that modern historians agree it was finished in 692. It can be replaced with Hawting 2000 p. 59.
Most historians do believe that 692 was the completion date, but I got my refs mixed up. It’s from Johns. I will fix this later today. Al Ameer (talk) 14:59, 22 March 2019 (UTC)Reply
Will look into this. I know sources seem rather divided, but most attribute it to al-Walid even if Abd al-Malik imitated it. I’ll clarify. Al Ameer (talk) 14:59, 22 March 2019 (UTC)Reply
After double-checking, the Elad source (page 45, footnote #100) also holds most medieval scholars cite 691/692 as the completion date so I kept the Elad source, in addition to Johns. --Al Ameer (talk) 17:52, 25 March 2019 (UTC)Reply
  • Elad 1999 also doubts that Al-Aqsa was built by al-Walid. Also, see John 2003 p. 416 in this regard.
I removed this for now. Will get into more detail later. --Al Ameer (talk) 17:52, 25 March 2019 (UTC)Reply
  • Ibn Sa'd 2004, should have full bibliographic info and should be used with harv fn like others.
This was largely a supplementary source. I’ve removed it. Al Ameer (talk) 14:59, 22 March 2019 (UTC)Reply

Images

Done. Al Ameer (talk) 16:58, 19 March 2019 (UTC)Reply
Sorry my mistake. I just saw that first file is cc-by-sa-3.0 by photographer. My mistake sorry. I undid your change on first one. AhmadLX (talk) 18:44, 19 March 2019 (UTC)Reply
  • File:Mukhtar al-Thaqafi Control on Iraq.png shows Mukhtar's control limited to Iraqi mainland, although he also controlled northwestern Iran. Alternative will be to use File:2nd Fitna Territorial control.png. AhmadLX (talk) 22:05, 18 March 2019 (UTC)Reply
Neither map is ideal for this and other reasons. Let me think about an alternative. —Al Ameer (talk) 16:58, 19 March 2019 (UTC)Reply

Allright, looks great. Happy to Pass. Nice Work. AhmadLX (talk) 19:11, 25 March 2019 (UTC)Reply

@AhmadLX: Thanks for reviewing and passing the article. I appreciate that you went in depth, particularly on spot-checking the references. It's a very important aspect of reviews that's often overlooked. Glad to see more editors knowledgeable and interested in this topic area. Hope to see more from you. Cheers, --Al Ameer (talk) 16:09, 26 March 2019 (UTC)Reply
@Al Ameer son: Thanks for the appreciation;) I can also review Abd Allah ibn al-Zubayr, if you re-nominate it. Thanks. AhmadLX-)¯\_(ツ)_/¯) 15:30, 7 April 2019 (UTC)Reply
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