Talk:Abishabis/GA1
Latest comment: 1 year ago by Mike Christie in topic GA Review
GA Review
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Reviewer: Mike Christie (talk · contribs) 16:13, 19 May 2023 (UTC)
I'll review this. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 16:13, 19 May 2023 (UTC)
Images are appropriately licensed; Earwig shows no issues; sources are reliable.
"the area between Fort Churchhill": presumably this is a typo for "Churchill" or was it then spelled that way?- Source says it was a typo, so fixed. Z1720 (talk) 18:39, 19 May 2023 (UTC)
"hit his head with an axe, destroying his brain": the source has "knocked his brains out with an axe", which I don't think we can rephrase this way. "Knocked his brains out" is an idiom; it just means "killed him with axe-blows to the head", which I think would be a preferable form of words.- Done. Z1720 (talk) 18:39, 19 May 2023 (UTC)
"Abishabis and his associates created texts, charts, and pictographs. These were created with lines drawn upon wood or paper." Could avoid some repetition by combining these: "Abishabis and his associates created texts, charts, and pictographs with lines drawn upon wood or paper."- Done. Z1720 (talk) 18:39, 19 May 2023 (UTC)
I'll do spotchecks next. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 18:05, 19 May 2023 (UTC)
- Responses above. Z1720 (talk) 18:39, 19 May 2023 (UTC)
Spotchecks:
- FN 3 cites "James Hargrave, an officer with HBC, noted that there was nothing remarkable about Abishabis before the arrival of Methodist missionaries to the area." Verified.
- FN 9 cites "Abishabis claimed that he was the "High Priest of the Tribe" and demanded that his followers give him clothing and weapons." Verified, but I would make this "ammunition", not "weapons", as being more precise -- I know that brings the phrasing closer to the original but I think that's unavoidable in the interests of accuracy.
- FN 5 cites "In July 1843, Abishabis gathered supplies to travel to Severn House." Verified.
All three are OK; there's a wording change suggested for one but I'm not going to hold up GA for that. Passing. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 19:15, 19 May 2023 (UTC)