Talk:Afrolychas braueri

GA Review

This review is transcluded from Talk:Afrolychas braueri/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 20:19, 2 May 2021 (UTC)

Comments

• Seychelles forest scorpion should be created as a redirect to this article.
• "critically endangered " is overlinked in the lead.
• "the IUCN and is" explain IUCN before using the abbr.
• Worth mentioning that Silhouette Island is on the UNESCO World Heritage Site tentative list?
• "it was split" what was split?
• wasn't - avoid contractions.
• "internal granules" what are those in this context?
• "have 14-18 " en-dash.
• "medically significant" for humans.
• "killed individuals of this species" perhaps as this is a new section, be clear: "killed individual Seychelles forest scorpions"
• " Silhouette Island", "Mahé" and "Praslin" are overlinked.
• "The Seychelles forest scorpion is believed to live in very low population densities" you already said this two sections back.
• Ref 1 has a spare pair of quote marks.

That's it, a nice neat article. It's on hold. The Rambling Man (Stay alert! Control the virus! Save lives!!!!) 10:54, 3 May 2021 (UTC)

Pomatostomus are you going to address these comments? I normally allow seven days before failing. Cheers. The Rambling Man (Stay alert! Control the virus! Save lives!!!!) 09:42, 6 May 2021 (UTC)

Ok, I'm failing this down to a lack of response. Hopefully the short list of items can be addressed at some point in the future. The Rambling Man (Stay alert! Control the virus! Save lives!!!!) 12:20, 11 May 2021 (UTC)

GA Review

This review is transcluded from Talk:Afrolychas braueri/GA2. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: An anonymous username, not my real name (talk · contribs) 16:52, 6 March 2022 (UTC)

Hello, OnlyFixingProse. I'll be handling your nomination. --An anonymous username, not my real name (talk) 16:52, 6 March 2022 (UTC)

Here's what I noticed:

• The scorpion's length is probably excessive for the lead.

Removed

• "...by having three conspicuous keels on its mesosoma's dorsal surface." WP:Jargon

Attempted rewording

• "...it is known to rely solely on its venom to capture its prey and to care for its young." Defend its young?

Replaced

• "The Seychelles forest scorpion was originally described in 1896 by Karl Kraepelin as Archisometrus braueri; by 1913 it was moved to the genus Lychas by Arthur Stanley Hirst." Best to split this into two sentences and replace the bolded "by" with "in."

Replaced and already split it now

• "It is one of only three species of scorpion found in the Seychelles." I'd suggest moving this to Distribution.

Moved

• "Its sting is not considered for humans." I can only assume "Its sting is not considered dangerous for humans" was meant.

Replaced

• I recommend redlinking "Dillenia ferruginea." Also, it appears you or another editor described the plant as "fauna."

Redlinked and replaced fauna into flora

• "The invasive ant species Technomyrmex albipes is known to have killed individual Seychelles forest scorpions." The word "individual" is not needed and slightly awkward.

Removed

• "A female was found in June 2009 carrying seven young on her back, which, like other scorpions, she would continue to care for until the young can survive on their own." Awkward wording. Seems to switch tenses.

Reworded

All in all, not bad. The only issues are grammar and organization; it seems like you've collected as much information as can be gleaned from the limited research on them. --An anonymous username, not my real name (talk) 00:58, 7 March 2022 (UTC)

An anonymous username, not my real name I think I've dealth with your concerns. OnlyFixingProse (talk) 01:11, 7 March 2022 (UTC)

Good work! I have passed it. --An anonymous username, not my real name (talk) 02:14, 7 March 2022 (UTC)